depauville's wannabe fattest man

2011-06-30T14:48:00.003-04:00

The Smurfs

Name	Original name	Appears in	Voiced by
*Papa Smurf*	Grand Schtroumpf	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Don Messick (Cartoon) Jonathan Winters (live-action)
	Papa Smurf is the leader of the Smurfs, and can be easily distinguished by his red clothes and bushy white beard, although it was brown in Papa's Wedding Day, Papa's Family Album, and Brainy's Smarty Party. Smurfs turn to Papa when things go awry. Papa Smurf is skilled in making magical spells and potions. He is much older than the other Smurfs except Grandpa and Nanny.
*Smurfette*	La Schtroumpfette	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Lucille Bliss (Cartoon) Katy Perry (live-action)

	Smurfette is a female smurf who was created by Gargamel. In the cartoon she originally had black hair, though this turned blonde when Papa Smurf worked all night to make her a real smurf. Until the creation of Sassette she was the only female Smurf in the village.^[1]
*Hefty Smurf*	Schtroumpf Costaud	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Frank Welker (Cartoon) Gary Basaraba (live-action)
	Hefty Smurf has incredible strength and often is seen doing a lot of the heavy work in the village. He also has a tattoo on his arm of a heart with an arrow through it. His favorite activity is lifting weights, and is often the one to kick Brainy out of the village. His best friend is Handy.
*Brainy Smurf*	Schtroumpf à Lunettes	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Danny Goldman (Cartoon) Fred Armisen (live-action)
	Brainy Smurf considers himself the most intelligent Smurf in the village and an expert on everything, although his actual knowledge is questionable at best; often, his attempts to help in a given situation leads to more problems. He is Papa Smurf's apprentice and assistant, and he often thinks that makes him the de facto second-in-command. He can be distinguished from the others by the large glasses he wears. He also has archived his perceived wit and wisdom in volumes of books entitled "Quotations from Brainy Smurf." The Smurfs most often respond to his self-righteous preaching by tossing him out of the village. His best friend is Clumsy.
*Barber Smurf*	Schtroumpf Barbu	Comics + Cartoon
	He wears a smock.
*Cobbler Smurf*	Schtroumpf Cordonnier	Cartoon	Hamilton Camp
	He's the go to guy when smurfs need new shoes
*Jokey Smurf*	Schtroumpf Farceur	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	June Foray (Cartoon) Paul Reubens (live-action)
	Jokey Smurf is a cheerful Smurf who enjoys playing tricks on the other Smurfs. Jokey Smurf almost always uses the same joke trick: yellow- and red-wrapped present boxes that he offers to his victims, saying it is a gift, or a surprise. The present box explodes when the receiver opens it, puffing out a lot of fire that blackens the bearer's face (or entire body depending on the explosion's size).
*Grouchy Smurf*	Le Schtroumpf Grognon	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Michael Bell (Cartoon) George Lopez (live-action)
	Grouchy Smurf is the misanthropic grouch of the Smurf village. His catchphrase is "I hate (something somebody else mentions)". Grouchy usually has a scowl on his face. He was originally a normal Smurf, changed only when bitten by a Bzz fly in the comic story "The Black Smurfs" (adapted into English as "The Purple Smurfs"). Despite his grouchiness, he has a soft spot for Baby Smurf and the Smurflings.
*Dreamy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Rêveur	Comics + Cartoon	Don Messick
	Dreamy Smurf is always dreaming of other places and other things. He is best known for his appearance as Astrosmurf, where he visits the fictitious Swoofs on their home planet. Constantly apologetic and unsure of himself. In the comic, Dreamy is not named; in the story, he is called "Schtroumpf not like the others" and Cosmoschtroumpf is a different Smurf (who has always been called Cosmoschtroumpf). In the cartoon series, he is often known as Captain Dreamy, commanding the large wooden ship S.S. Smurf II.
*Clumsy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Maladroit	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	William Callaway (Cartoon) Anton Yelchin (live-action)
	Clumsy Smurf is a somewhat dimwitted but amiable Smurf. His best friend is Brainy. He is distinguished by his baggy clothing, which adds to his clumsy appearance (his clothing is normal in the comics). He is known for his hobby of collecting rocks. In the animated series, Clumsy speaks in a variety of Southern American English.
*Greedy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Gourmand	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Hamilton Camp Kenan Thompson (live-action)
	Greedy is an exceptionally gluttonous Smurf. He has an exceptional interest in eating cakes and other pastry. Greedy usually cannot seem to help himself, and he is often chased by Baker Smurf for stealing snacks and food. In the cartoon series, his character was combined with that of Chef Smurf, where he enjoys baking and cooking, but eventually ends up eating his own creations, hence the name. He wears a chef's toque and apron in the comics—but a handkerchief, instead of an apron, in the cartoon.
*Chef Smurf*	Schtroumpf Cuisinier	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Wolfgang Puck (live-action)
	Chef Smurf is the cook of the village. He knows dozens of recipes and cooks many dishes. He always wears his toque blanche (white chef's hat). In the cartoon series, Chef Smurf and Greedy Smurf are combined into the same character. In Volume 11, a Smurf is called Schtroumpf Gourmand, who looks just like Schtroumpf cuisinier (wearing a toque blanche, neckerchief and apron). In Volume 23 Schtroumpf Gourmand is shown wearing the normal Smurf outfit (like he has in all other volumes) and Schtroumpf Cuisinier again wearing the chef outfit, so Volume 12 may have just been a mistake.
*Vanity Smurf*	Schtroumpf Coquet	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Alan Oppenheimer (Cartoon) John Oliver (live-action)
	Vanity Smurf is the epitome of a Narcissist. He has a flower in his hat, and he often holds a hand mirror, staring into his own reflection, which he kisses often. In the Hanna-Barbera cartoon series, Vanity speaks in an effeminate voice.
*Handy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Bricoleur	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Michael Bell (Cartoon) Jeff Foxworthy (live-action)
	Handy Smurf, wearing overalls, a visor attached to the front of his cap, and with a pencil above his ear, is the handyman of the Smurfs. He helps fix things in the village and is known for his amazing technological inventions. He is the inventor of Clockwork Smurf and Clockwork Smurfette. A friend of Hefty Smurf, Handy rescues a mermaid named Marina and her ailing father in the cartoon, and she is Handy's love interest.
*Scaredy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Peureux	Comics + Cartoon	Alan Young
	Scaredy Smurf, as his name says, easily gets scared by anything, whether it is a small insect or the noise of storm. He is often teased by the Smurfs because of this.
*Tracker Smurf*	Schtroumpf Traqueur	Cartoon	Henry Polic II
	Tracker Smurf (an original cartoon character), who wears a small red feather in his cap and sometimes carries a walking stick, is an excellent outdoorsman and tracker. He also possesses an excellent sense of smell capable of locating truffles growing underground.
*Sloppy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Sale	Comics + Cartoon	Marshall Efron
	Sloppy Smurf is a filthy Smurf with a passion for dirt, garbage, and rotten fruit. His face is perpetually grimy, his hat is grubby and dishevelled, and one of his loose stockings is perpetually torn, revealing his toes. Sloppy owns a pet fly named Fly, whom he sometimes walks on a leash and has taught to do tricks like a dog.
*Harmony Smurf*	Schtroumpf Musicien	Comics + Cartoon	Hamilton Camp
	Harmony Smurf is a musician who especially loves to play the trumpet, although his musical ability shows a total lack of harmony, like the singing of a certain ancient Gaulish bard, and he is usually asked to stop playing as soon as he gets started. Some English editions name him as Rocker Smurf.
*Painter Smurf*	Schtroumpf Peintre	Comics + Cartoon	William Callaway
	Painter Smurf is a brilliant artist and is active in most visual arts. He often wears a red jacket with a black tie, and is often seen either making a painting or a sculpture. In the cartoon series, he speaks with a French accent and refers to his paintings as "masterpizzas."
*Poet Smurf*	Schtroumpf Poète	Comics + Cartoon	Frank Welker
	Poet Smurf is the poet of the village. He is very sensitive and artistic, and he spends most of his time wandering in nature to improvise poems about it, and sometimes has trouble finding verses that rhyme. He usually manages to do it through some accident.
*Baby Smurf*	Bébé Schtroumpf	Comics + Cartoon	Julie McWhirter
	Baby Smurf was brought by a stork on a blue moon night to the Smurf village. He has magical powers in the animated version, and speaks in baby-talk. He wears pink clothing.
*Natural Smurf/Nat Smurfling*	Schtroumpf Nature	Comics + Cartoon	Charles Adler
	Originally, a full grown Smurf known as Natural Smurf, he was changed into a Smurfling and then went by "Nat." He wears light green overalls, a straw hat, and goes barefoot. Nat can talk to animals and loves all things related to nature and the environment.
*Snappy Smurfling*	Schtroumpf Colérique	Comics + Cartoon	Pat Musick
	Snappy Smurf had his age reversed and became Snappy Smurfling. Snappy wears a yellow T-shirt with a storm cloud on it in the cartoon and the comics, which is indicative of his impulsive disposition.
*Slouchy Smurfling*	Schtroumpf Molasson	Comics + Cartoon	Noelle North
	Slouchy Smurf had the aging process reversed and was transformed into Slouchy Smurfling. Slouchy is not a very enthusiastic Smurf, and he often takes a relaxed pose with eyes half-closed. Slouchy has a red tee-shirt and loose-fitting white cap.
*Grandpa Smurf*	Vieux Vieux Schtroumpf	Comic + Cartoon	Jonathan Winters
	Grandpa Smurf (who does not appear in the original comics, except in the ones made for the magazine) is the oldest of all the Smurfs. He returned to the Smurf Village after a five hundred-year absence. Grandpa walks slightly bent over with a cane, has a long, tapering beard, and wears yellow clothing and glasses. He was also the storyteller of the Smurfs, and Papa Smurf's mentor who help Papa Smurf and the Smurfs from dangers.
*Farmer Smurf*	Schtroumpf Paysan	Comics + Cartoon	Alan Young
	Farmer Smurf is the farmer of the village. He plants the crops for the Smurfs and helps organize the harvest. Farmer Smurf wears dark green overalls, wooden clogs, and a straw hat, with its crown styled like the white Phrygian-style caps of the other Smurfs, but with a full wide brim. In the original French comic version, he speaks in a stereotypical farmer accent. In the cartoon series, Farmer has a Down East accent like the traditional real-life residents of parts of the U.S. state of Maine.
*Sassette Smurfling*	Sassette	Comics + Cartoon	Julie McWhirter
	Sassette was created by the Smurflings to serve as a sister for Smurfette. Like Smurfette, Sassette was evil at first, as she was created using Gargamel's original spell, but with a smurf-sized lump of magical blue clay. Papa Smurf used the same potion on her that he had used on Smurfette to make her a real Smurf. Sassette is a little freckled redhead female Smurfling with pigtails, and pink overalls. She calls Papa Smurf "Pappy" and Grandpa Smurf "Grandpy". She has somewhat of a warm place in her heart for Gargamel since she was made by his spell.
*Alchemist Smurf*	Apprenti Schtroumpf	Comics
	A Smurf with an unusual interest in doing his own chemical and magical experiments.
*Timid Smurf (a.k.a. Actor Smurf)*	Schtroumpf Timide	Comics + Cartoon
	Timid is a very shy Smurf. He once decided to adopt a dragon he called Grumpf, after he felt insecure because he did not have many friends. But in the movie, The Smurfs and the Magic Flute, he always an actor when Papa Smurf present to Johan and Peewit.
*Architect Smurf*	Schtroumpf Sculpteur	Comics + Cartoon
	Architect Smurf designs all the mushroom houses of the Smurf village. In the cartoon, Architect burned out on designing only mushroom houses and built a skyscraper to replace the village. After a fire burns the skyscraper down, the Smurfs move back into the village.
*Baker Smurf*	Schtroumpf Boulanger	Comics + Movie	B.J. Novak (live-action)
	Baker Smurf is the local baker of the village. He directs a bakery shop and provides fresh bread for the Smurfs.
*Clockwork Smurf*	Schtroumpf Robot/Mécanique	Comics + Cartoon	Frank Welker
	Clockwork Smurf is a wooden robot who was built by Handy Smurf. Despite the technology level at which the Smurfs are (it is the European Middle Ages, after all), he is capable of feelings and morality. Clockwork Smurf's favorite trick is eating smilax leaves, turning them into hot smilax soup and giving them to his fellow Smurfs. In the comic, he is slightly bigger than the Smurfs. A Clockwork Smurfette was similarly designed in the cartoon.
*Clockwork Smurfette*	Schtroumpfette Robot/Mecanique	Cartoon
	Like Clockwork Smurf, Clockwork Smurfette is a wooden robot who was built by Handy Smurf. She was made to be the female companion of Clockwork Smurf. Like her male counterpart, Clockwork Smurfette is capable of feelings and morality.
*Dabbler Smurf*		Comics + Cartoon
	Dabbler is the most introverted and sentimental Smurf. He is constantly tormented by an inherent sadness, which stems from the inability of his friends and family to understand him. Dabbler's life is a never-ending quest for love and to be understood. In the cartoon, Dabbler becomes Doctor Smurf when Papa Smurf leaves the village to visit Homnibus.
*Doctor Smurf*	Docteur Schtroumpf	Comics + Cartoon
	Doctor Smurf has a very superficial knowledge of medicine and health, using scattered sources of medical books to give prescriptions to his patients. Nevertheless, he takes great pride in his self-established job, which is lackluster at best, harmful at worst.
*Dopey Smurf*	Schtroumpf Bêta	Comics
	Dopey Smurf is portrayed as the least intelligent among the Smurfs. Other Smurfs often request him to get some object for them, and then he returns a different one, having misunderstood. This is a running gag in the comics.
*Enamored Smurf*	Schtroumpf Amoureux	Comics
	Enamored Smurf has been in love with Smurfette ever since her arrival. He dreams about her, carves her name in trees, and pulls the petals off daisies, reciting "She loves me, she loves me not..." When she loves him not, he cries all night.
*Finance Smurf*	Schtroumpf Financier	Comics
	Finance Smurf is notable in Smurf comics for introducing the currency to his peers, after being fascinated by its use in the human world. It was abandoned after a while since using currency created poverty and corruption among them.
*Flying Smurf (a.k.a. Aviator)*	Schtroumpf Volant	Comics
	Flying Smurf has a sole passion in life: flying. He has tried several ways to fly in the air: sticking feathers on his arms, using a hot air balloon, even eating a yeast mixture. His attempts were only short-lived, and he gave up for a while, until he sought assistance from Handy Smurf, who built him a big wooden mechanical airplane.
*King Smurf*	Le Schtroumpfissime	Comics
	King Smurf is a Smurf with a passion for power and being a leader. His story was first published in 1964 and a TV cartoon episode was made called The King Smurf (where Brainy Smurf is the one who becomes the King). In the comic he is just called Smurf. When Papa Smurf leaves the village on a long journey, there is an election where King Smurf beats Brainy 96 to 2. However, his rule turns into a tyrannical one and conflict results, which only ends with Papa Smurf's return. Since his original name is never told, King Smurf might be the one later called Schtroumpf Prétentieux (Pretentious Smurf).
*Lazy Smurf (a.k.a. Sleepy)*	Schtroumpf Paresseux	Comics + Cartoon	Michael Bell
	Lazy Smurf is the laziest of all the Smurfs. He spends almost all his time sleeping, either in his bed, a hammock, on the grass, or anywhere, anytime, day or night.
*Mango Smurf*	Schtroumpf Mangobaum	Comics
	Mango Smurf lived in the tropics for years and enjoys peace and quiet, but after eating ajo becomes more affectionate. Mango Smurf gets along best with animals, most notably an unnamed duck. He usually wears a pair of pajama bottoms and sandals.
*Miner Smurf*	Schtroumpf Mineur	Comics + Cartoon	Alan Young
	Miner Smurf is the local miner of the village. He runs a mine in the forest from where most fossil material used among the Smurfs comes. He wears an old dark blue jacket, red neckerchief, trousers, and a metal hard hat. In the cartoon, he looks like a normal Smurf, except he wears green-yellow gloves and has a small wax candle on the top of his dirty hat for illumination. He speaks with an Irish accent (often exclaiming "Faith and Begorrah!").
*Nanny Smurf (a.k.a. Granny Smurf)*	Mémé Schtroumpf	Comics + Cartoon	Susan Blu
	An old flame of Grandpa Smurf's, Nanny enters the cartoon series after being trapped inside a cursed castle for centuries. It is unclear if she is a naturally occurring female Smurf or if she was somehow created via sorcery like Smurfette and Sassette. She's introduced in Season 8 of the series, and she owns a pet rabbit named Smoogle.
*Nosy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Curieux	Comics + Cartoon	Paul Winchell
	Nosy Smurf is always curious, always wanting to know everything. In fact, he is so curious he peeks around through the other Smurfs' business, causing problems for everyone.
*Editor Smurf*		Cartoon
	Editor Smurf brings out the newspaper.
*Reflection Smurf (a.k.a. Hundredth)*	Le Centième Schtroumpf	Comics + Cartoon
	Reflection Smurf used to be Vanity Smurf's reflection, as the name implies, but came to life after a lightning bolt struck a mirror that Vanity Smurf made.
*Reporter Smurf*	Schtroumpf Reporter	Comics + Cartoon
	Reporter Smurf is the reporter of the village. He likes to write sensational articles for his own newspaper, and has a tendency to look for controversial news, which eventually cause him problems.
*Sneezy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Frileux	Comics + Cartoon
	Sneezy Smurf aka Sickly is a Smurf who is very cold-sensitive. Always shivering, he is always wrapped in a big scarf. Despite wearing several layers of thick, warm clothes, he still cannot get over his permanent flu, making him sneeze often. He appears in Season 3 episodes 14 and 23
*Dylan Smurf*	Schtroumpf Puant	Comics + Cartoon
	Stinky Smurf hated to wash, which gave him an awful and unbearable body scent, making him attract flies and repel his fellow Smurfs, especially Smurfette. Although he once managed to thwart Gargamel using his stench, he was forcefully given a bath and became Nice-Smelling Smurf.
*Sweepy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Ramoneur	Comics + Cartoon
	Sweepy Smurf is a chimney sweeper with an Australian or British Cockney accent. He carries a chimney sweep broom, wears a black brimmed hat, red scarf around his neck, and black pants/shoes. He tends to have a dirt cloud around him, causing everything (and everyone) around him to get dirty.
*Tailor Smurf*	Schtroumpf Tailleur	Comics + Cartoon	Kip King
	Tailor makes all the clothes in the village. He's often seen with a needle or two in his cap and a tape measure around his neck. In the cartoon series, Tailor speaks with a noticeable New York accent, somewhat like the Eastern European Jewish immigrants that came to New York City, that worked as tailors there, in the late 1800s.
*Weakling Smurf*	Schtroumpf Chétif	Comics + Cartoon
	Weakling Smurf is a puny Smurf who tries to be athletic but fails at all kinds of sport. When Hefty Smurf organizes Olympic Games (published in 1980), Weakling tries but fails to make an impact while in the training stage and decides to give up. Papa Smurf gives him a special potion that he says will enable him to compete. Weakling proceeds to win every contest he enters but, on being awarded his medal, confesses that he cheated. Papa Smurf then reveals that his potion was nothing more than a form of harmless jam that he gave to Weakling in order to boost his morale, meaning that Weakling did win the Games on his own merits.
*Wild Smurf*	Schtroumpf Sauvage	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Frank Welker
	Wild Smurf wears clothing made of leaves and he`s barefoot. He is feral and is not understood by the other Smurfs. He can communicate with animals and ask for their assistance. He appears to be the same age as most of the Smurfs.
*Weepy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Pleureur	Comic + Cartoon
	Weepy Smurf is a crybaby Smurf. Weepy cries at the drop of a hat. He holds an orange handkerchief.
*Tuffy Smurf*	Schtroumpf Batailleur	Comic + Cartoon	Pat Fraley
	Tuffy Smurf acts tougher than he is and often challenges others to fisticuffs. He is notable for wearing a black belt with a buckle. Appears in episodes 27&38 of season 4.
*Wooly Smurf*		Cartoon
	Wooly Smurf shears sheep and wears a wool hat and shears on a belt. Wooley often talks with a Texan accent.
*Nurse Smurf*	Schtroumpf Infirmier	Comics
	Nurse Smurf is shown in Volume 12 wrapping another Smurf's finger.
*Lucky Smurf*	Schtroumpf Chançard	Comics
	After watching humans, Lucky Smurf brings gambling to the village in Volume 23, Les Schtroumpfs Joueurs. His name is quite ironic, since he is very unlucky at gambling.
*Lumberjack Smurf*	Schtroumpf Bûcheron	Comics + Cartoon
	Lumberjack Smurf wears a knit hat and a flannel shirt. In the cartoon, he is known as Timber Smurf.
*Pretentious Smurf*	Schtroumpf Prétentieux	Comics
	Formerly the King Smurf, Pretentious Smurf thinks a little too much of himself.
*Pastrycook Smurf*	Schtroumpf Pâtissier	Comics
	Pastrycook Smurf wears a white hat and apron, and cooks pastries for the village.
*Cook Smurf*	Schtroumpf Cuistot	Comics + Cartoon
	Cook Smurf has a different, taller chef's hat than Pastrycook Smurf, an apron and a neckerchief.
*Submariner Smurf*	Schtroumpf Sous-marinier / Marinier	Comics
	Submariner Smurf used a submarine Handy Smurf made for him. After a run-in with a fish and Gargamel, it was converted to land use with wheels. When that did not work, it was turned into a pool, at which point he became Mariner Smurf.
*Navigator Smurf*	Schtroumpf Navigateur	Comics
	Navigator Smurf sails boats and sometimes wears a blue bicorne hat.
*Fisher Smurf*	Schtroumpf Pêcheur	Comics+Cartoon
	Fisher Smurf is the village fisherman.
*Hunter Smurf*	Schtroumpf Chasseur	Comics
	Hunter Smurf wears a feather in his hat, and has a bow and arrows. He is a very inept archer, however, and he always manages to miss his targets.
*Marco Smurf*	Schtroumpf Marco	Comic + Cartoon	Rob Paulsen
	Marco Smurf wears an old English hat and talks with a British accent. He goes out to sea to get the Smurfs' spices. The last time he went, it took two years to get back home, and the other Smurfs had to go on an expedition to find him.
*Flighty Smurf*	Schtroumpf Distrait	Comics + Cartoon	Paul Winchell
	Flighty Smurf has problems making decisions.
*Don Smurfo*		Comics + Cartoon
	Don Smurfo is a fictional character in Smurf book.
*Gutsy Smurf*		Movie	Alan Cumming
	Gutsy is a new Smurf character for the 2011 movie. He is described as 'brave to a fault' in the synopsis. Wears a Scottish kilt and has the accent to match.
*Panicky Smurf*		Movie	Adam Wylie
	The next new Smurf character for the movie. A smurf who always panics when he's afraid.
*The Lone Smurf*		Cartoon
	wears a domino mask, white shirt, and a black belt; He's Smurfette in disguise.
*Nobody Smurf*		Cartoon
	A Smurf who always seems to get overlooked.

[edit] The Villains

Name	Original Name	Appears in	Voiced by
*Gargamel*	Gargamel	Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Paul Winchell (Cartoon) Hank Azaria (live-action)
	The main antagonist, Gargamel the sorcerer is the sworn enemy of the Smurfs. He is an evil wizard with limited powers. Gargamel is absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs and his main goal vacillates from trying to eat the Smurfs to trying to capture them to use in a potion to make gold. His robe is worn and patched, and his teeth are rotten. He lives in a run-down hovel with his cat Azrael.
*Azrael*		Comics + Cartoon + Movie	Don Messick
	Gargamel's pet cat. Although Gargamel never treats it well, Azrael manages to put up with its master. Azrael tends to realize beforehand that Gargamel's schemes will go awry, but reluctantly goes along with them anyway in hopes of possibly capturing a Smurf. Azrael shares Gargamel's distinctive laugh. Azrael's gender is never revealed, as Gragamel and the others refer to Azrael as an "it".
*Hogatha*		Cartoon	Janet Waldo
	Hogatha is an evil, ugly witch who uses her magic in an attempt to lure unsuspecting suitors, and occasionally cause trouble for the Smurfs. Hogatha snorts loudly with her large nose. She thinks she's beautiful, although she is actually quite ugly and wears a red wig to cover her baldness. She rides on a vulture. She and Gargamel dislike each other, and she refers to him as "Garglesmell." Hogatha used a spell to disguise herself as a Smurf who constantly snorts and causes trouble, under the name Snorty Smurf, in the first season episode "The Fake Smurf".
*Balthazar*		Cartoon	Keene Curtis
	Balthazar is Gargamel's godfather. Balthazar despises the Smurfs and is actually more cold-hearted than Gargamel, in addition to being a more powerful sorcerer. He lives in a large castle whose moat houses a fearsome dragon called a Moat Monster.
*Chlorhydris*		Cartoon	Amanda McBroom
	Chlorhydris is an evil sorceress, more powerful than Hogatha, who devotes her time to remove love from the world. A nasty, irredeemable woman as ugly as she is evil. It is revealed in the season 7 episode "Chlorhydris' Lost Love" that she was once kind and caring, but became hateful when her true love was stolen away from her. Nevertheless, she married a king and had a daughter named Priscilla. She later caused the king's disappearance and put a curse of ugliness on Priscilla to keep anyone from falling in love with her.
*Nemesis*		Cartoon	Frank Welker
	Nemesis is a sinister, hiccupping creature shrouded in a purple robe. He is an evil wizard like Gargamel, only powerful. He is constantly trying to steal the Long-Life Stone, which is the magical artifact that grants the Smurfs their extremely long lifespans. He was once a human but after a magic accident, he became so grotesque that people are horrified at the sight of his face, so he keeps his hood over it.
*Scruple*		Cartoon	Brenda Vaccaro
	Scruple is Gargamel's apprentice. Scruple was expelled from a wizard school and lives with his uncle Gargamel as kind of an indentured servant.
*Wartmongers*		Cartoon
	The Wartmongers are little toad-like creatures who live in the muck and slime of Creepy Deepy Swamp and often cause the Smurfs problems. They consider having more warts than others as a source of pride. They like ripping the wings off of pixies, and like the pixies at first think that Smurfs turn into horrible monsters. The leader of the Wartmongers, King Bullrush, commands his minions to do his bidding.
*Rogue and Witlor*		Cartoon
	Two woodland thieves.

[edit] Others

Name	Original Name	Appears in	Voiced by
*Johan and Peewit*	Johan et Pirlouit	Comics + Cartoon	Michael Bell and Frank Welker
	Johan is a young human squire and pageboy of an unnamed king near the Smurf village. He defends his king fiercely, and is often helpful to others people. He meets the dwarf (or child in the cartoons) Peewit (pronounced pee-wee), and they become best friends. It was in a Johan and Peewit adventure published in 1958 that the Smurfs were first introduced. The Smurfs would appear in some of the later adventures of Johan and Peewit, as well as their own series. In the Hanna-Barbera cartoon series, Johan and Peewit were occasionally featured in stories which focused on the pair and the kingdom they protected. Johan rides a white horse named Bayard, and Peewit rides a goat named Biquette. In the cartoon, Peewit sings in an off-key voice, and is always hungry. Johan and Peewit episodes of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon shown in France are distributed under the title Johan et Pirlouit.
*Feathers*	La Cigogne	Comics + Cartoon + Movie
	Feathers is a large white bird who is a loyal friend to the Smurfs and provides transportation and delivers messages when needed.
*Father Time*	Père Temps	Comics + Cartoon	Alan Oppenheimer
	Father Time, portrayed in the classic image of the wizened old man with a white robe and scythe, is a good friend of the Smurfs and Mother Nature.
*Enchanter Homnibus*	Homnibus	Comics + Cartoon	Alan Oppenheimer
	Homnibus is an old human wizard and friend of Papa Smurf, Johan and Peewit and gave Puppy to the Smurfs. Papa Smurf often visits him to discuss matters of magic and to play chess. Homnibus first introduced Johann and Peewit to the Smurfs. Homnibus has a young servant, Olivier.
*Mother Nature*	Mère Nature	Comics + Cartoon	June Foray
	Mother Nature is in charge of the smooth running of nature's course. She is a good friend of the Smurfs and often works with Father Time. In one episode, her brother Harold is revealed to be The Man In The Moon.
*Bigmouth*	Grossbouf	Comics + Cartoon	Lennie Weinrib
	Bigmouth is a gigantic, clumsy, dimwitted ogre whose size and clueless disposition causes endless trouble for the tiny little Smurfs, like stealing Smurfsberries and the smurfs' foods, although he is not really considered their enemy. He frequently breaks into Gargamel's hovel and eats his foods and rocks. He is friends with whoever may be offering him something in exchange. He will help Gargamel, or help the Smurfs, depending on who is offering more in return (usually food). Bigmouth's sweetheart is Big Nose.
*Pixies*		Cartoon
	The Pussiwillow Pixies look like tiny humans with wings, most of the ones seen being attractive females. They are afraid of the Wartmongers, who try to catch them and clip off their wings to make them servants. At first, they believe that the only thing worse than a Wartmonger is a Smurf. After being convinced that Smurfs do not actually turn into hairy red-eyed monsters as they had always believed, they befriend the Smurfs. They become friends because the Smurfs saved them from being turned into servants and getting their wings ripped off.
*King Gerard*		Cartoon	Phil Proctor
	Gerard is a child prince who befriends the Smurfs before becoming king. The Smurfs help him defeat his evil aunt Lady Imperia, who tries to take the crown for herself. The lonely Gerard finds a best friend in Clockwork Smurf, who decides to stay with Gerard rather than return to the Smurf village. Gerard rules over a separate kingdom from the one ruled by the unnamed king served by Johann and Peewit. However, the two kings are related through Gerard's cousin Savina, and the two kingdoms are apparently at peace.
*Princess Savina*		Cartoon	Jennifer Darling
	Princess Savina is the niece of the ruler of a nearby kingdom whose unnamed king is unaware of the Smurfs' existence. Savina is a red-headed young woman who is not content under the tutelage of Dame Barbara, who tries to teach her the importance of how to sew, pour tea, and otherwise be a "proper princess." Savina is an expert marksman and rider, and is good friends with Johan, whom she sometimes accompanies on his adventures. They appear to have a mutual attraction. Savina is also the cousin of another nearby king, Gerard.
*Dame Barbara*		Cartoon	Linda Gary
	Princess Savina's governess.
*Brenda*		Cartoon	Russi Taylor
	A young witch from Witch Hazel Conservatory whom the Smurfs teach to be a good witch. Good friends with Smurfette. Appears in season 3's The Littlest Witch and in season 6's Scruple's Sweetheart, where she falls head-over-heels for Scruple, until she realized he only wanted her wand.
*Puppy*		Comics + Cartoon	Frank Welker
	Puppy is a magical creature which was designed to look like a dog. He was offered as a gift to Papa Smurf by Homnibus. It was Baby Smurf, however, who opened the enchanted locket around Puppy's neck and became the dog's true master. Puppy is a good friend to the Smurflings and protects the Smurfs from Gargamel's cat Azrael.
*Smoogle*		Comics + Cartoon	Russi Taylor
	Smoogle is Nanny Smurf's pet. It is a magenta colored rabbit. Nanny adores it and is known as a little overprotective of it.
*Laconia*		Cartoon
	Laconia is a wood elf who is mute but not deaf and signs. As a friend of Papa Smurf she is often employed when sound or silence magics create trouble. In the cartoon she owns the wand of love which looks like a flower on a stick and gives flowers life. The flowers of the world are her life-force.
*Woody*		Cartoon
	Woody is also a wood elf who is in love with Laconia. They are currently married.
*Marina*		Cartoon
	Marina is a beautiful mermaid and the love interest of Handy Smurf.
*Flowerbell*		Cartoon
	Flowerbell is a woodnymph who lives in the forest with all the woodland creatures. In the Season 2 episode "Papa's Wedding Day," Flowerbell and several other woodland animals are captured by Lord Balthazar. To free herself, Flowerbell offers to help capture Papa Smurf. Balthazar -- who is scheming to take over the kingdom -- agrees on the condition that his pet raven follow her to ensure that it isn't a trick to summon help. Flowerbell eventually seduces Papa Smurf and, after the two decide to get married, leads him to a giant wedding cake, where Balthazar captures Papa. A deeply remorseful Flowerbell flees and summons the other Smurfs to help rescue Papa and defeat Balthazar. She makes amends with Papa after his rescue, although it is left ambiguous as to whether he forgave her. Flowerbell makes a cameo appearance in "Smurfily Ever After," as a guest at Woody and Laconia's wedding.
*Denisa*		Cartoon	Katie Leigh
	Denisa is Balthazar’s niece. Denisa and Sassette become best friends after they save each others lives from wolves. She appears in Season 8 of the cartoon series in the episodes “A Smurf for Denisa”, “Denisa’s Greedy Doll”, and “Denisa’s Slumber Party”.
*Patrick Winslow*		Movie	Neil Patrick Harris
	A new character for the movie. He is the husband to Grace who helps the Smurfs.
*Grace Winslow*		Movie	Jayma Mays
	A new character for the movie. She is pregnant with her first child in the movie.
*Odile*		Movie	Sofia Vergara
	New character for the movie. An executive at a French cosmetics company who is the boss of Patrick.
*Smurf Genius*		Cartoon
	Seen to appear during a time of moral dilemna. they float over the shoulder of the smurf and act as his conscience. One appears as a little smurf devil with horns,2 prong fork,spaded tail and undersized bat-like wings. The other is angelic wearing a long dress and has bird-like wings. they council the smurf to do the bad or the moral thing.

SAVE HERE FOR FUTURE PRINTING 5/12/11

2011-05-12T13:17:00.000-04:00

Happy Mardi Gras

2011-03-08T14:11:00.002-05:00

I giving going to the local library for Lent and pork also. So see ya all after Easter!

what if?

2011-01-11T14:39:00.002-05:00

single ladies:
would you marry someone just to have a roof over your head? Do this sound creepy? email me .

12202010

2010-12-20T14:29:00.004-05:00

Merry Lonely Christmas!

All I want is A girlfriend or wife for Christmas!
I have still have no money, No Car, and still a fucking virgin!

I want to be loved for me not my gender’s endless supply of cash that all we guys are supposed to pull cash out our assholes.

892010

2010-08-09T18:31:00.001-04:00

Greetings from the almost dead!
I went swimming last sunday with my neighhbor , Amy and her son, Gus. I went into 6 ft . side and almost drowned. I was saved and stayed in the shallow end.

2010-05-20T16:31:00.002-04:00

The top 10 fattest cities are:

1. Las Vegas

2. San Antonio, Texas

3. Miami, Florida

4. Mesa, Arizona

5. Los Angeles, California

6. Houston, Texas

7. Dallas, Texas

8. El Paso, Texas

9. Detroit, Michigan

10. San Jose, California

The top 10 fittest cities are:1. Albuquerque, New Mexico2. Seattle, Washington3. Colorado Springs, Colorado4. Minneapolis, Minnesota5. Tucson, Arizona6. Denver, Colorado7. San Francisco, California8. Baltimore, Maryland9. Portland, Oregon10. Honolulu, Hawaii

5-12-2010

2010-05-12T12:09:00.002-04:00

Ain't I nothing but an ATM with a penis?
That's what I feel like. I can't do that . Someone gotta love me for me!

boinksex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and why I can't get f^<* ed

2010-04-06T13:45:00.007-04:00

Clothing-less father ,harlot-light ladie calendars, a mother couldn't give a stitake. And no wonder I turned to be a loveless unboinkable piece of ake not anyone would want to see nakid! Add to this lovely equation , no driver's license/car or have any money to spend on dating. Add being isolated my entire f^<*ing childhood, didn't give me the necessary skills to interact with my peers. I am socially retarded! Every once a while, I wish I could find and pay for a lovesexf^<*escort and find a loophole to use a harlot. I also could wish GOD would look away when I want this or going through it!

2010-03-17T17:10:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, September 3, 2008
social? welfare system
Isn't calling welfare social services/security an oxymoron? When was the last time you seen someone purchasing movie tickets, dinner out or going bowling with an Benefit (food Stamp ) card ? Has anyone legally used paper food stamps to purchase these items. Heck if you can't buy booze/cigarettes with them, why can't you use them for social benefits. I think that welfare in it's current state should survival benefits not social services/security when you can't use them to go out. Another thing I have never filled something out for to put in a database of some computer matching service that connect me to available s that are in the same boat as I in but might have something I don't have with something I can bring. I AM NOT DISSING THE WELFARE SYSTEM, I AM JUST SAYING TO COMPLETELY CLEAR LANGUAGE-WISE IT SHOULD EITHER CHANGED TO FIT IT'S NAME OR IT'S NAME SHOULD BE CHANGED TO REFLECT THE SYSTEM'S MISSION.

2009-11-17T17:00:00.003-05:00

Dec 3, 1999 09:00 PST
Unhappy meal
How to eat yourself to death.

By Mary Roach
Thanksgiving evening, between the second yam and the first piece of pie, a thought crossed my mind. Actually, it was a series of thoughts, and it went like this: Is it possible to eat yourself to ? If I keep on eating, will my stomach eventually burst? How much food would it take? I am not the first person to have had these thoughts. The first person, so far as I am able to verify, was a Frenchman named E. Revilloid. The year was 1885. Revilloid not only had these thoughts, but undertook to answer them in a scientific manner, filling up a stomach (removed from its deceased gentilhomme owner) until it burst. The rupture threshold was determined to be 4,000 cc, or about four quarts. Six years later, a German physician by the name of Key-Aberg repeated the experiment. (The German of yesteryear was a hearty eater, a fact borne out in a ghastly 1929 Annals of Surgery article. The paper summarizes 14 cases of overeating, including a 17-year-old female done in by a "large portion of sauerkraut.") Key-Aberg's experiment differed from his French predecessor in that he left the stomachs inside their (dead) owners. He presumably felt that this would better approximate the realities of a hearty meal, for rare indeed is the dinner party attended by disengaged, free-standing stomachs. To that same end, he is said to have made a point of composing his corpses in the sitting position. Again, 4,000 cc was the reported cutoff. As fans of the eating sections in old Guinness books of world records will surmise, this figure has been surpassed on numerous occasions. Some stomachs, by way of heredity or prolonged daily gourmandism, are roomier than average. Orson Welles had one such stomach. According to the owners of Pink's hot dog stand in Los Angeles, the voluminous director once sat down and finished off 18 hot dogs. The all-time record holder would appear to be a 23-year-old London fashion whose case was described in the April 1985 issue of Lancet. At one fateful meal, the young woman managed to put away 19 pounds of food: one pound of liver, two pounds of kidney, a half pound steak, one pound of cheese, two eggs, two thick slices of bread, one cauliflower, 10 peaches, four pears, two apples, four bananas, two pounds each of plums, carrots and grapes, and two glasses of milk. Whereupon her stomach blew up and she died. (The human gastrointestinal tract is home to trillions of bacteria, which, should they escape the confines of their stinky, labyrinthine home, can create a massive and often systemic infection.) Runner-up goes to a 31-year-old Florida psychologist who was found collapsed in her kitchen surrounded by "an abundance of foodstuffs, broken soft drink bottles and an empty grocery bag," to quote a lavishly if repellently illustrated article in a 1986 American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology. In her purse was a hospital form from several hours earlier, indicating that she had consumed five pounds of hot dogs, three boxes of ers and two quarts of milk before driving herself to the emergency room and complaining of abdominal pain. The staff dutifully pumped nearly two quarts of material from her stomach, whereupon she returned home, only to start all over again -- this time with lethal results. The Dade County medical examiner's report itemized the last meal: "8700 cc of poorly masticated, undigested hot dogs, broccoli and cereal suspended in a green liquid that contained numerous small bubbles." The green liquid remains a mystery, as does the apparent widespread appeal of hot dogs among modern-day gorgers. Not surprisingly, both these women were bulimics. Bulimics make up the preponderance of stomach rupture s recorded in medical literature, second only to dogs and followed closely by the mentally retarded, who have, as one author put it, a "tendency to wolf down large quantities of food." (One such patient was killed by a too-eagerly dispatched serving of beets, some of which he literally inhaled. "Terminal aspiration of beets" was listed as the mechanism of .) Not included in the ranking is a certain tribe of New Guinea natives whose traditions include the ceremonial ingestion of vast quantities of partly cooked pork, leading to a sometimes condition known as "pig bel." What is surprising about the two bulimic women is that they survived as long as they did. The shriveled stomachs of people who have been starving tend to rupture more easily. The , for example, had been interspersing her binges with three- to four-day bouts of complete starvation. The end of World War II saw a disquieting number of former prisoners of war perish from gastrointestinal overload when presented with unlimited quantities of food. It didn't take much. The surgeon commander of the Polish Navy described four such cases in a 1947 issue of the British Medical Journal, with one of the men succumbing from a relatively unnoteworthy two quarts of soup, one quart of coffee, a half pound of bread and some potatoes over the course of a day. Not all people who eat themselves to die of a ruptured stomach. The Florida psychologist died of asphyxia, her grossly distended stomach having protruded so far up and out of its customary terrain that the lungs were terminally compromised. Either way, you haven't long for regrets. The ruptured stomach victims in the reports typically died within a matter of hours. Of 31 cases reviewed in one 1941 journal article, only two recovered. Lest you spend your postprandial hours this holiday season worrying about whether your stomach has quietly ruptured, rest assured that you will know if it happens. Case studies quote patients reporting a sensation of "giving way," a "bursting noise" or "sudden explosion." A final word of caution. Should you find yourself closing in on the four-quart mark, do not seek relief in a glass of Alka-Seltzer. In 1941, a 51-year-old woman capped a weeklong hyperphagic binge by sitting down to a prodigious meal of macaroni, meat balls, cheese, tomatoes, potatoes, bread, pie, three glasses of grape juice and several shots of whisky -- nearly four quarts of foodstuffs in all. Suffering from "heavy feelings" in her abdomen, she sought to relieve her discomfort with a few teaspoons of sodium bicarbonate in water. Almost immediately, she doubled up with severe stomach pain, the gas from the fizz having apparently stretched the stomach to its breaking point. Within 14 hours, the woman died. The case study, reported in the December 1941 Annals of Surgery, is accompanied by a detailed half-page illustration of her stomach, replete with a gaping five-inch-long rupture, that is enough to put anyone off his supper. Well, almost anyone.

FattenUp's Personal Ads - ffa in 1000 islands

2009-08-27T14:37:00.001-04:00

FattenUp's Personal Ads - ffa in 1000 islands

Shared via AddThis

2009-06-22T17:10:00.000-04:00

DINER IS CLOSED
Because Elaine couldn’t afford to fix the water heater

6-15-09

2009-06-15T16:32:00.000-04:00

I bought a 37" sanyo HDTV today.

2009-05-21T16:31:00.002-04:00

FattenUp Recipes
compiled by Drkwyldcat
This Ebook is freely available and is not for sale.
The majority (but not all) of the recipies in this book were found on the FattenUp message
board, therefore originally provided or created by it's members. If you would like to show appreciation
for this ebook and the recipes it contains, feel free to visit the FattenUp website at http://fattenup2.com
and make a donation.
The creator of this ebook is not directly affiliated with the FattenUp website, message board, or
the members of the message board. If you are unhappy with the contents of this ebook in any way, DO
NOT express your displeasure or make unkind comments to the FattenUp webmaster, message board,
or the members of the message board.
That being said, I hope you enjoy these nummy belly busting recipes.

Broccoli in Garlic Sauce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 small or one large broccoli stalk cut into smallish florets
1 small onion cubed
2 carrots sliced thinly
1 stalk celery
½ cup snap peas
½ tin water chestnuts
Minced garlic – I start with two large cloves but have used as many as 4 large cloves
Garlic/chili paste – anywhere from a ½ tsp to 2 Tbs
1 - 2 Tbs minced ginger
2 tsp orange marmalade OR ¼ cup orange juice + 1 tsp sugar
¼ cup vegetable stock or water
2 Tbs low sodium Tamari
1 – 2 Tbs rice wine vinegar (optional)
Peanut oil
Coat the bottom of a nonstick frying pan with the peanut oil and toss in:
Ginger
Garlic
Garlic/chili paste
Before you stop coughing from the fumes of the chili paste invading your nostrils, add:
Carrots
Celery
Cook for a minute. Add:
Onions
Cook for a minute. Add:
Veggie stock
Orange marmalade OR ¼ cup orange juice + 1 tsp sugar
Tamari
Rice wine vinegar (if using)
Wait for mixture to come to a boil. Add:
Water chestnuts
Broccoli
Stir fry mixture for a couple minutes. Add:
Snap peas
Stir fry for another couple minutes.
Take off heat to preserve the color of the veggies.
Serve topped with cashews and peanuts (and Tamari on the side).
I am pretty sure that’s how I do it. Another variation, when I find myself ginger-less is to substitute
ginger preserves for any sweetener.
From cooking.com:
Chili paste with garlic, an Asian seasoning, combines crushed red chiles and pureed fresh garlic. Used
sparingly as an ingredient or a condiment, it has a rich, fiery flavor. Look for chili paste in Asian
markets and well-stocked grocery stores.

Veggie Fried Rice:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1 teaspoon chopped ginger
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/2 cup finely chopped carrots
1 large egg, beaten
3 tablespoons finely chopped scallions
1 cup cooked, cold, dry white rice
Lite soy sauce
1 tsp. Sesame oil
Put peanut oil in a hot wok or non-stick pan, add ginger, garlic, carrots and peas. Be sure to keep
moving the ingredients and stir fry for about 4 minutes, then add the egg, scallions, rice and soy sauce,
to taste. Keep stirring everything until the oil is all absorbed.
Sprinkle Sesame oil over dish and stir to combine.
5
Fettuccine Alfredo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show: Everyday Italian Episode: Italian Restaurant Classics
Recipe Summary
Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
18 ounces fresh fettuccine
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
12 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 cups grated Parmesan
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
Salt and freshly ground white pepper
Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring
occasionally, about 4 minutes. Drain.
Stir 2 cups of the cream and the lemon juice in a heavy large skillet to blend. Add the butter and cook
over medium heat just until the butter melts, stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes. Remove from the
heat.
Add the pasta and toss. Add the remaining 1/2 cup of cream, and Parmesan to the cream sauce in the
skillet. Add the lemon zest, nutmeg, salt, and white pepper. Toss the pasta mixture over low heat until
the sauce thickens slightly, about 1 minute.

Colombian Coffee Steak
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 10-12 oz rib eye steaks
1 1/2 liters of freshly brewed 100% Colombian Coffee
1/2 oz salt
1/2 oz sugar
3-4 pieces fresh jalapeño pepper diced
100 ml freshly squeezed lemon juice zest of two lemons
2 sprigs finely chopped fresh rosemary
2 sprigs finely chopped fresh thyme
2 oz ed black pepper, crushed
1/2 oz tomato paste
225 ml Worcester sauce
2 oz olive oil
3 to 4 cloves of finely chopped garlic
1 oz flour
2 oz tequila
Grind and brew coffee, bring to room temperature. Using a whisk, combine coffee with salt, sugar,
jalapeño, lemon juice and zest, thyme, rosemary, black pepper, tomato paste, and Worcester sauce.
Adjust seasoning to taste. Marinate rib eyes steak in the coffee herbs and seasonings for 24 hours, turn
steaks every few hours.
To prepare sauce: Strain marinade from steaks and bring to boil in saucepot. In a separate pot, sauté
garlic in olive oil until garlic turns opaque. Add flour slowly, stir to dissolve and cool for one minute
over low heat. Add tequila to create a flame. Add coffee marinade and simmer for 30 to 45 minutes.
The best way to cook steaks is on a grill to bring out the robust flavor of the coffee marinade. Strain
sauce through a fine sieve. Place the cooked steaks on each plate on top of ladleful of coffee sauce.

Roll Butter Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 cans crescent rolls
1 8 oz. package cream cheese, soften
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla
1 stick of butter
Butter a 13 x 9 x 2" pan. Spread one can of rolls in pan. Mix cream cheese and 3/4 cup sugar and
vanilla. Spread mixture over rolls. Put second pack of rolls over mixture. Mix 1/3 cup sugar and 1 tsp.
cinnamon and sprinkle over the top of rolls. Melt 1 stick of butter and pour over top. Bake in 350
degree oven for 1/2 hour or until golden brown.
8 SPAGHETTI ALFREDO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 lb spaghetti noodles
1 cup heavy cream
1 tbsp garlic powder
2 tbsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp parsley
1 1/2 cups grated Parmesan cheese
1 stick of butter
1 tsp salt
Cook spaghetti as directed on package. Drain and set aside. On low heat melt butter. Add cream, garlic
powder, Italian seasoning, salt, and parsley. Stir, keep a close eye on it because it will burn.
Let it simmer for about 5 minutes and then add Parmesan cheese. It should thicken up, if not add more
Parmesan cheese. According to your taste you might need more salt. Take off heat and add your
spaghetti, mix well.
Serve hot.
9 Melt-away Butter Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup Softened butter
1 1/2 cup Sugar
1 Egg, beaten
1/4 tsp Salt
1 tsp Grated lemon rind
1 tsp Lemon extract
2 1/2 cup Sifted unbleached flour
Cream the butter with the sugar. Add all but 1 Tbsp of the egg, salt lemon rind and extract. Work in the
sifted flour a few tablespoons at a time until thoroughly blended. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured
surface and knead for just a few minutes. Pat dough out flat
in an 8 inch round greased baking pan. Brush with reserved tablespoon of beaten egg. Bake at 350
degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden. Allow cake to cool 30 minutes. Remove from pan and cut
into serving pieces. Cake will harden as it cools. Store in airtight container. Keeps well for a long time.
Variation: Substitute 1/2 tground ginger & 2 Tbsp minced crystallized ginger for lemon extract &
rind.
10
Sour Cream Pound Cake with Buttery Orange Syrup
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For Cake:
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 cups sugar
6 large eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Grated zest of two oranges
1 cup sour cream, at room temperature
For Buttery Orange Syrup:
Grated zest of 1 orange
1 1/2 cups fresh orange juice
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons butter
To make the cake, position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 325° F. Butter and flour a 10-
inch fluted tube (bundt) pan, and tap out the excess flour.
Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together; set aside. Beat the butter and sugar in a
large bowl with a hand-held electric mixer on high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat in
the eggs, one at a time, then the vanilla and zest. On low speed, add the flour in 3 additions, alternating
with 2 additions of sour cream, beginning and ending with the flour. Beat until smooth, scraping down
the sides of the bowl often with a rubber spatula. Spread evenly in the pan.
Bake until a wooden skewer inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean, about 1 1/4 hours.
To make the syrup, bring the orange juice, zest and sugar to a boil over medium-high heat and cook
until reduced to a syrupy consistency, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in butter, 1
tablespoon at a time.
Transfer the cake to a wire rack and cool for 10 minutes. Drizzle syrup over pound cake when you
serve.
11
MILLION-DOLLAR POUND CAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 pound (four sticks) butter, softened
3 cups sugar
6 eggs
4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 300º F. In a large bowl, cream the butter; gradually add the sugar, beating until light
and fluffy with an electric mixer at medium speed. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition.
Gradually add flour alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour and mixing well after each
addition. Mix in extracts. Pour batter into a greased and floured 10-inch tube pan or bundt pan. Bake
for 1 hour and 40 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in
the pan for 10 to 15 minutes. Remove and place on a wire rack until completely cool.
12
Peanut Butter Shortbreads
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups all-purpose flour
Preheat oven to 300°F. In a bowl, combine all the ingredients with your fingers until mixture resembles
coarse meal. Press the mixture into an ungreased 8" round pan. With a fork, decorative wedges in
the dough. Bake for about 1 hour, or until very lightly browned. Cut into wedges while warm. Makes
16 wedge-shaped cookies.
Gold Peanut Bars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 box (3 oz.) vanilla pudding mix (not instant)
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup evaporated milk
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon butter flavoring
1 cup chopped honey roasted peanuts
In medium sauce pan, combine pudding mix, sugar and evaporated milk. Bring to a boil and boil for 5
minutes stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add butter and butter flavoring. Pour into mixing
bowl and beat at high speed for 5 minutes until mixture thickens. Stir in peanuts. Grease an ice tray and
fill half-full with thickened mixture. Refrigerate until firm. Remove from tray and wrap in gold foil.
Store in a cool place.
14 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Peanut Butter Fingers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 loaf white bread
1/2 cup chopped roasted peanuts
1 12-oz. jar creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup oil
1 package chocolate candy coating
Freeze loaf of bread overnight. Remove crusts and save. Cut each slice of bread into four or five finger
size pieces. Place fingers and crusts on a cookie sheet and bake at 225°F for 30 minutes. Crush crust to
make crumbs (a food processor is helpful). Mix bread crumbs and chopped peanuts in a paper or plastic
storage bag.
Mix oil and peanut butter. Microwave on high for 3 minutes and stir until smooth. Dip fingers in peanut
butter mixture and them put in the bag of crumbs. Shake to coat. Place fingers on cookie sheet and bake
in a 350°F oven for 10 minutes.
Melt candy coating following package directions. Dip fingers and place on waxed paper. Sprinkle with
remaining crumb mixture. Store in airtight container up to 2 weeks.
15 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Classic Peanut Butter Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
2 eggs
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Cream together butter, peanut butter and sugars. Beat in eggs. In a separate bowl, sift together flour,
baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir into batter. Put batter in refrigerator for 1 hour. Roll into 1"
balls and put on baking sheets. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a criss-cross pattern. Bake in a
preheated 375°F oven for about 10 minutes or until cookies begin to brown. Do not over-bake. Makes 4
dozen cookies.
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The Ultimate Peanut Butter Pie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gingersnap Cookie Crust
1¼ cups fine gingersnap cookie crumbs
1/3 cup finely chopped unsalted roasted peanuts
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
¼ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ cup (½ stick) unsalted butter, melted
Chocolate Ganache
½ cup heavy cream
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
Peanut Butter Streusel
1½ tablespoons confectioners' sugar
2½ tablespoons creamy peanut butter
2 tablespoons finely chopped unsalted roasted peanuts
1 ounce finely chopped bittersweet chocolate
Peanut Butter Filling
1¼ cups confectioners' sugar
1¼ cups creamy peanut butter
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups chilled heavy cream, whipped to stiff peaks
Peanut Butter Glaze/Garnish
3 tablespoons heavy cream
2 ounces white chocolate, chopped
3 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
¼ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 ounce shaved bittersweet chocolate
unsalted roasted peanut halves
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Crust
Preheat oven to 325 F. In medium bowl, combine crust ingredients with fork until well blended and
evenly moistened. Firmly press onto bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie pan. Bake 8-10 minutes until
crust firms up and is set. Cool on wire rack.
Ganache
Combine cream and chocolate in glass measure or bowl. Microwave on HIGH 1 to 1½ minutes until
cream is simmering; whisk mixture until smooth. Pour over bottom of cooled crust, spreading into an
even layer. Place in freezer 30 minutes or until ganache is firm. Meanwhile, prepare Peanut Butter
Streusel.
Streusel
Stir together ingredients in small bowl with fork until confectioners' sugar is incorporated. Drop peasized
clumps of streusel onto a plate, refrigerate 30 minutes.
Filling
Using mixer with paddle attachment, cream together confectioners' sugar, peanut butter, cream cheese,
ginger and vanilla until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Fold the whipped cream into the peanut butter
mixture until incorporated. Spoon half of the filling into crust and spread into an even layer. Scatter
streusel evenly over filling. Spoon the remaining filling over the streusel. With offset spatula, smooth
filling into an even mound, sloping down to meet edge of crust. Place pie in freezer for at least 3 hours,
or until filling is frozen hard.
Glaze and Garnish
Combine cream and white chocolate in 2-cup glass measure. Microwave on HIGH for 30 seconds or
until cream is simmering; let stand 1 minute. Whisk melted chocolate into cream. Add peanut butter
and vanilla; whisk until glaze is smooth. Let glaze stand 5 minutes to thicken slightly. Slowly pour
glaze over top of frozen pie, letting it slowly run down slopes of filling mound, to cover filling
completely (use a small icing spatula to spread glaze to crust edge). Spoon shaved chocolate in a 2-inch
band around edge of filling. Garnish with peanut halves. Freeze at least 1 hour or until firm.
Makes 16-18 servings.
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Peanut Crusted Beef
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 pounds top loin beef, trimmed and cut lengthwise into 2 long pieces
½ cup dry mustard
¼ cup warm water
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
2 cups chopped Spanish peanuts
salt and pepper to taste
Sear beef on grill. Mix mustard, water and peanut butter; spread on all sides of beef. Sprinkle with
chopped peanuts, pressing nuts into surface of beef, if necessary. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place
on a roasting pan in a 450 degree F oven and roast until desired doneness is indicated on meat
thermometer. Let rest 15 minutes before slicing to serve.
Makes 6 servings.
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COFFEE TOFFEE ICE CREAM PIE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHOCOLATE PIE CRUST:
1 1/2 c. Oreo cookies with cream centers
1/2 c. dry roasted peanuts
1/2 c. melted butter
In food processor place cookies and blend to crumbs. Process nuts until ground. Stir in melted butter
and process until blended. Press in a 9 inch pie plate. Bake at 325 degrees for 7 minutes. Cool on a wire
rack. Chill in freezer.
FILLING:
3 pt. coffee or butter brickle ice cream, softened
10 1/2 oz. chocolate covered heath candy bars, crushed (2 c.)
In a chilled, large bowl, combine ice cream and toffee pieces with a wooden spoon. Freeze mixture for
1 hour. Spoon into pie crust and mound. Freeze 1 hour. Cover with plastic wrap and freeze until firm or
overnight. Soften the pie for 5 to 10 minutes before serving.
TOPPING:
1 (12 oz.) jar fudge topping
2 or 3 tbsp. brewed coffee
1 to 2 tbsp. kuklua liqueur
In a saucepan combine fudge topping, coffee and liqueur. Heat thoroughly. Serve over slices of pie.
NOTE: Place pie plate on a hot, wet towel to loosen the chocolate pie crust from the plate so it will
serve easily after it has been cut into wedges.
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Chocolate-Blueberry Dessert Squares
2 c Chocolate wafer crumbs
1/2 c Margarine; melted
2 Egg whites
2 c Powdered sugar
8 oz Cream cheese
21 oz Blueberry pie filling
1 c Pecans; chopped; divided
1 1/2 c Whipping cream
3 tb Sugar
1/2 ts Vanilla
1/2 c Chocolate chips
2 tb Milk
Combine cookie crumbs and margarine, stirring well. Press mixture into bottom of an ungreased 9"
square pan. Bake at 350* for 10 minutes. Beat egg whites(at room temperature) until foamy; gradually
add powdered sugar, beating until blended. Add cream cheese, and beat until smooth. Spread mixture
evenly over crust; top with pie filling, and sprinkle with 3/4 c pecans.
Beat whipping cream at high speed until foamy; add sugar and vanilla, and beat until soft peaks form.
Spread evenly over pie filling. Combine chocolate chips and milk in a small saucepan; cook over low
heat until chocolate melts, stirring constantly. Drizzle chocolate mixture over whipped cream., and
sprinkle with remaining 1/4 c pecans. Chill several hours.
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Carrot Cake Cheesecake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
***Cheesecake:***
16 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon flour
3 eggs
***Carrot Cake:***
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
8 1/2 ounces can crushed pineapple, packed in juice, drained well, reserve juice
1 cup grated carrots
1/2 cup coconut
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
***Pineapple Cream Cheese Frosting:***
2 ounces cream cheese, softened
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon reserved pineapple juice
In large bowl of electric mixer, beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Beat in flour, eggs
and vanilla extract until smooth. Set aside. Meanwhile prepare Carrot Cake.
Carrot Cake:
In large bowl, combine oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla extract; mix well. Stir in dry ingredients; mixing
well. Stir in drained pineapple, carrots, coconut and walnuts.
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Spread 1 1/2 c. carrot cake batter over bottom of greased 9- or 9 1/2" springform pan. Drop cream
cheese batter over carrot cake batter by spoonfuls; top with large spoonfuls of remaining carrot cake
batter. Repeat with remaining cream cheese batter, spreading evenly with a knife. Do not marble with a
knife. Bake in preheated 350ºF oven for 50 to 65 minutes or until cake is set and cooked through. Cool
to room temperature, then refrigerate. When cake is cold, prepare Pineapple Cream Cheese Frosting.
Pineapple Cream Cheese Frosting:
In a bowl of electric mixer, combine cream cheese, butter, confectioners' sugar, vanilla extract and
reserved pineapple juice. Beat until smooth and of spreading consistency. Frost top of cheesecake.
Refrigerate 3 to 4 hours before serving.
Note: Don't skimp on the ingredients (and don't use store brands or generic). Use regular cream cheese,
real butter, and pineapple packed in juice, not sugar syrup. You will be glad you did.
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Deluxe Date Squares
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 1/2 cups pitted dates
1 2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon orange oil, optional
1 1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 cup oatmeal
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup butter, cold
Combine dates, 2/3 cup brown sugar, water, vanilla, lemon juice and orange oil in 2-quart saucepan.
Bring to simmer over medium heat. Cook until dates are softened, 1 to 3 minutes. Remove from stove
and cool. Puree in food processor until smooth.
Place flour, oatmeal, 1 cup brown sugar, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in work bowl of food
processor. Pulse to combine, then add chunks of cold butter until mixture is crumbly. Pat 1/2 mixture
into lightly greased 9-inch-square baking pan. Cover with date mixture, spreading evenly. Top with
remaining crumb mixture as evenly as possible. Press down lightly.
Place pan on baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees until top is golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes. Cool 20
minutes then put in freezer 20 minutes before cutting into squares.
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Peanut Butter Parfaits
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/3 cup milk
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1/4 cup peanut butter
vanilla ice cream, enough for 4 parfait glasses
crushed peanut brittle or chopped peanuts
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine brown sugar, milk, corn syrup, and butter. Cook,
stirring constantly, until sugar dissolves and butter melts. Remove from heat. Add peanut butter and
beat with mixer or whisk until smooth; let cool thoroughly. In parfait glasses, alternate layers of ice
cream and cooled peanut butter sauce, beginning and ending with the ice cream. Top with crushed
peanut brittle or chopped peanuts.
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Pineapple Cheese Bars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup butter
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
2 cups granulated sugar
4 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 tablespoons finely grated orange peel
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 cups crushed pineapple, drained
1 cup prepared mincemeat, or cooked chopped dates
2 to 3 cups chopped walnuts
Directions for pineapple cream cheese bars. Have butter and cream cheese at room temperature. Cream
butter, cream cheese, and sugar; beat in eggs, vanilla, and orange peel. Sift together flour, salt, and
baking soda; stir into egg mixture until blended; stir in pineapple, mincemeat, and walnuts. Spread
evenly into greased and floured 13x9x2-inch and 8x8x2-inch baking pans.
Bake in at 375°. 30-35 minutes until firm, Cool in pan; cover, store overnight. Top squares with fluffy
white frosting.
Fluffy White Frosting
2 egg whites
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup water
2 teaspoons light corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Combine all ingredients except vanilla in the top of a double boiler over boiling water. Beat with
electric mixer for about 7 minutes, or until mixture will stand in stiff peaks. Beat in 1 teaspoon vanilla
extract. Stir in a tablespoon of grated orange peel, if desired.
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Southern Pecan Pie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is another one of those "doesn't-everybody-have-this-recipe" recipes. Granted, they are all very
similar, and probably most folks who are looking
for a pecan pie recipe won't have any trouble finding one. HOWEVER, I found out about a secret! Read
on...
3 eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup dark corn syrup, such as Karo
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups pecan halves
one unbaked 9-inch pastry shell
Stir together eggs, corn syrup, sugar, melted butter and vanilla. Add pecans. Pour mixture into pastry
shell. Here's the secret: Bake 5 minutes at 450 degrees F.. Then lower the temperature to 275 degrees,
open the oven door and leave it open for 5 minutes. Close the oven door and bake the pie for 2 hours.
This method produces the wonderful chewy texture that's so hard to find.
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Apple Breakfast Lasagna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup sour cream
1/3 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
2 packages (9oz each) frozen french toast (12 slices)
1/2 pound sliced boiled ham
2 cup (8oz) shredded cheddar cheese (or 3 cheese blend) divided
1 can (20oz) apple pie filling
1 cup granola, with raisins
In a small bowl, blend sour cream and brown sugar, chill. Place 6 french toast slices in bottom of
buttered 13 X 9 X 2-inch baking pan. Layer ham, 1 1/2 cups cheese and remaining 6 slices french toast.
Spread apple filling over top; sprinkle with granola.
Bake at 350° 25 minutes. Top with remaining 1/2 cup shredded cheese and bake about 5 minutes
longer, or until cheese is melted. Serve with sour cream mixture.
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HOMEMADE MACARONI & CHEESE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1/2 c. butter
1/4 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. dry mustard
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 1/2 c. milk
2 c. Cheddar cheese, grated
1/2 lb. Velveeta cheese
1 c. Mozzarella cheese
1 (16 oz.) box elbow macaroni
In large saucepan, melt butter over low heat. Stir in flour, salt, mustard and pepper until smooth; take
off heat. Little by little, stir in milk until smooth. Stir constantly for 10 minutes on heat until thick; take
off heat. Stir in 1 1/2 cups Cheddar cheese, Velveeta cheese and Mozzarella cheese until melted. Put
cooked macaroni in a greased casserole dish, pour cheese mixture over and mix well. Sprinkler paprika
and leftover Cheddar cheese on top. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes.
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PURPLE COW ICE CREAM SODA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1/2 c. grape juice
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. milk
ginger ale
vanilla ice cream
Put grape juice, sugar and milk into a ten-ounce tall glass and stir well.
Then add 1/2 cup chilled ginger ale and 1 large serving (2 scoops) of vanilla ice cream and stir well.
Add ginger ale to fill glass three-fourths full.
Top with another serving of ice cream.
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CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUT BUTTER BALLS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 c. chunky peanut butter
2 sticks butter
1 lb. box powdered sugar
2 large packages of chocolate kisses
Melt butter and peanut butter in medium size pot on the stove. Add powdered sugar and mix. Roll into
balls and place on wax paper covered cookie sheet. Place in refrigerator to cool.
Melt 2 large packages of chocolate kisses in double boiler.
Roll balls in the melted chocolate. Place back on wax paper covered cookie sheet and put back in the
refrigerator until hard. Store in refrigerator until ready to use. Delicious!
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RAISIN MIX CHOCOLATES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup raisins
1 c. dates, pitted
1 tsp. grated orange zest
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 lb. dipping chocolate
Put raisins and dates through a food chopper or process briefly in a food processor.
Add grated orange zest, cinnamon and vanilla. (The zest is the orange part of the peel.) Mix well and
form into balls. Melt chocolate in a double boiler. Dip the balls into it, one at a time, using a wire
chocolate dipping tool.
Place on waxed or parchment paper to cool.
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HOT REUBEN DIP
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Great for that leftover corned beef
1 can (l6 ounces) sauerkraut, drained and squeezed dry
1 small onion, finely chopped
1/4 pound cooked corned beef
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Swiss cheese
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Place the sauerkraut, onion, and corned beef in a blender or a food processor that has been fitted with
it's cuting blade. Process until finely chopped. Combine the mixture with the remaining ingredients in a
1 quart casserole dish that has been coated with nonstick vegetable spray. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes or
until bubbly.
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Two-Tone Buffalo Wings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in Buffalo, N.Y., food lovers make a pilgrimage to the Anchor Bar, home of the original Buffalo
wings. A lot of people eat wings as an appetizer, but they make a good meal, too.
The secret to good wings is the kind of hot sauce used for the coating. All hot sauces are not alike.
Tabasco is very hot and vinegary, whereas Durkee (which is rumored to be the Anchor’s preferred
brand) is much milder.
With so many hot sauces now available, I make at least two different coatings.
One is red, made from a reasonably mellow Louisiana brand, such as Frank’s or Crystal. The green
wings come from a jalapeno-based sauce (Tabasco makes one, but there are also fun, fiery Mexican
varieties in strange bottles).
Blue Cheese Dip:
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup sour cream
1 cup crumbled blue cheese
6 tablespoons cream
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon celery seed
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Two-Tone Buffalo Wings:
4 pounds chicken wings
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
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2 garlic cloves, crushed
3 tablespoons hot red pepper sauce, or to taste
2 tablespoons hot green jalapeno sauce, or to taste
Vegetable shortening or oil for deep-frying
To prepare Blue Cheese Dip, in medium bowl, combine mayonnaise, sour cream, blue cheese, milk,
lemon juice, celery seed and pepper. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour or up to 24 hours before
serving.
To prepare Two-Tone Buffalo Wings, wash wings and pat dry with paper towels. Using heavy cleaver,
chop each wing between joints to make 3 pieces.
Discard wing tips (or save for another use, such as making chicken stock). If desired, ask butcher to do
this for you or purchase precut chicken wings. Let wings stand at room temperature 30 minutes before
frying.
Meanwhile, in small saucepan, melt butter with garlic over low heat. Divide garlic butter between 2
large bowls.
Add hot red sauce to 1 bowl and whisk well to combine. Add hot green sauce to other bowl and whisk.
Set bowls aside.
Preheat oven to 200 degrees. Place large wire rack over jellyroll pan. In deep Dutch oven, melt
shortening over high heat to depth of 2 to 3 inches and heat to 365 degrees.
In batches, without crowding, deep-fry chicken wings until golden brown and they show no sign of
pink when pierced at bone (remove wing from fat to check for doneness), about 3 minutes.
Using wire-mesh skimmer, transfer wings to racks and keep warm in oven while frying remaining
wings.
Add half of wings to each bowl of sauce and toss well to coat. Serve coated wings immediately with
blue cheese sauce on side for dipping and empty bowl to collect bones.
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Orchard Buttermilk Doughnuts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doughnuts:
3 1/4 cups flour
1 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chilled vegetable shortening, plus more for deep-frying
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 large eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Apple Cider Glaze:
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup apple juice, heated to boiling
To prepare doughnuts, in medium bowl, combine 1 1/2 cups flour, granulated sugar, baking powder,
baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Add 2 tablespoons shortening. Using hand-held electric mixer
at medium speed, mix until shortening is cut into very fine crumbs, about 2 minutes.
In medium bowl, combine buttermilk, eggs and vanilla. Beat until smooth, then stir into flour mixture.
Gradually stir in remaining 1 3/4 cups flour to make soft dough. On lightly floured surface, gently
knead dough just until smooth, about 1 minute.
Line baking sheet with wax paper. Place large wire rack over jellyroll pan. In deep Dutch oven, melt
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vegetable shortening over high heat to depth of 2 to 3 inches and heat to 375 degrees.
On lightly floured work surface, pat dough out into thick rectangle and dust top with flour. Roll out
dough until 1/2 inch thick. Using doughnut cutter, cut out doughnuts. Or use 3-inch round biscuit cutter
to cut out doughnuts and 1 1/4-inch round cutter to cut out holes. Cut straight down, without twisting
cutter, so doughnuts will rise properly when deep-fried. Transfer doughnuts and holes to wax paper.
Gather up dough, knead gently and reroll until all doughnuts have been cut out. In batches, slip metal
spatula under 1 doughnut at a time and lower it into hot shortening. Deep-fry without crowding, turning
once, until golden brown, 3 to 4 minutes. Using wire-mesh skimmer, transfer to wire rack to drain.
When all doughnuts have been fried, fry doughnut holes until golden brown, about 2 minutes. Let them
cool completely.
To prepare Glaze, in small bowl, whisk powdered sugar and boiling cider together. Holding them by
edges, briefly dip doughnuts into Glaze, letting excess drip back into bowl. Place doughnuts, iced sides
up, on wire cake rack to set icing. Doughnuts are best served day they are made.
Makes 12 (3-inch) doughnuts, plus 12 holes.
LEMON BUTTER POUND CAKE BARS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup butter
2 cups granulated sugar
4 eggs
2 cups self-rising flour
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons grated lemon peel
Lemon Glaze (recipe follows)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease bottom of a 13 x 9-inch pan.
In large saucepan, melt butter over medium heat; remove from heat. Stir in remaining ingredients
except glaze in order listed, mixing well after each addition. Spread batter in prepared pan. Bake for 35
to 45 minutes or until top is golden brown. Cool 10 minutes; drizzle with Lemon Glaze.
Lemon Glaze
Combine 1 cup confectioners' sugar and 2 tablespoons lemon juice; stir until smooth.
38
JALAPEÑO BROWNIES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 pound butter
4 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup finely chopped jalapeño peppers
3/4 cup nuts, chopped
In a double boiler, melt butter and chocolate chips together.
In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs with the salt until the mixture is foamy. Slowly beat in sugar until
well blended. Beat in the vanilla extract. Remove mixer from the bowl.
With a wooden spoon, stir in the chocolate mixture until almost blended. Stir in flour until almost
blended. Stir in the peppers and the nuts.
Butter a 13 x 9-inch baking pan and pour in the batter. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25 to 30 minutes, or
until the top crust and the inside looks moist, but not runny. Cool thoroughly, then frost.
Chocolate Cream Cheese Icing
4 ounces cream cheese
2 1/2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons milk or cream
1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
Cream the cheese and butter with a mixer. Add vanilla extract and milk. Add cocoa and 1 cup of the
confectioners' sugar. Blend in well. Add remaining confectioners' sugar and mix to desired spreading
consistency. Frost the cooled brownies.
39
Banana Butterfinger Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cake
2 1/4 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon dark rum
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups mashed ripe bananas (about 5)
1 1/2 cups chopped Butterfinger bars
Glaze
2/3 cup whipping cream
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into large pieces
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
14 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
2 teaspoons dark rum
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups chopped Butterfinger bars (about 7 1/2 ounces)
Cake: Position rack in top third of oven; preheat to 350 degrees F. Butter two 9-inch diameter cake
pans with 1 1/2-inch sides. Line bottoms with wax paper rounds. Butter and flour paper.
Sift flour, baking powder and salt into medium bowl. Using electric mixer beat butter in large bowl
until fluffy. Gradually add sugar and beat 2 minutes. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each
addition. Beat in dark rum and vanilla extract.
Combine sour cream and baking soda in medium bowl. Add mashed bananas to sour cream mixture
and stir until well blended. Add dry ingredients to butter mixture alternately with banana mixture
beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Stir in chopped Butterfinger bars. Divide batter between
prepared pans. Bake until center of cake feels firm and tester inserted into center comes out clean about
30 minutes.
Cool in pans on rack 10 minutes. Run small knife around sides of cakes to loosen. Turn out cakes onto
racks and cook. Peel off wax paper. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Wrap cakes tightly and store at
room temperature.)
Glaze: Combine cream, butter and corn syrup in heavy medium saucepan. Bring to simmer over
medium heat stirring until butter melts. Remove from heat; add chocolate and stir until melted and
smooth. Stir in rum and vanilla extract. Pour glaze into small bowl. Cover and refrigerate just until cool
and thick stirring occasionally about 40 minutes.
Transfer 1 cake layer to platter. Slide wax paper strips under edges of cake. Stir glaze until smooth.
Spread 1 cup glaze evenly over top of cake layer. Top with second cake layer. Spread remaining glaze
over top and sides of cake. Cover top and sides of cake with chopped Butterfinger bars. Remove wax
paper strips. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover cake and store at room temperature.)
Milky Way Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 Milky Way® bars
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
2 cups granulated sugar
4 eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
1 cup nuts
Melt candy and 1 stick butter. Set aside. Cream sugar and the remaining 1 stick butter. Add eggs. Add
flour and baking soda alternately with buttermilk. Add candy mixture. Bake in a tube pan at 325
degrees F for 70 minutes.
Snickers Bar Cheesecake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 (9 ounce) package chocolate wafer cookies
2 cups heavy cream
4 tablespoons butter, melted
1 1/2 pounds Snack-size Snickers bars
1 cup granulated sugar
24 ounces cream cheese, softened, each
8-ounce block cut into sixths
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. In a food processor, grind cookies into fine
crumbs. Add butter and process until well blended. Press into bottom and about 1 inch up sides of a 9-
or 10-inch springform pan.
In a large bowl, beat together cream cheese and sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until
smooth, 1 to 2 minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Beat in vanilla extract and 1 cup of the cream; beat
3 to 4 minutes. Fold in 1 1/2 cups cut-up Snickers pieces. Turn into a crumb-lined pan. Bake 1 hour and
15 to 25 minutes, or until cheesecake is almost set but center still jiggles slightly. Let cool to room
temperature.
Sprinkle remaining candy pieces over top of cheesecake. Refrigerate at least 4 to 5 hours before
serving.
Run a knife around edge of pan to loosen cake and remove springform side of pan. Just before serving,
drizzle fudge topping over cake. Whip remaining 1 cup of cream until stiff and spoon a dollop over
each slice.
PINEAPPLE CHEESE BAKLAVA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 (1 pound 4 ounce) can crushed pineapple
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 ounces cream cheese
8 sheets filo dough
1 cup ricotta cheese
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 large egg yolks
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Drain pineapple, reserving syrup. Combine the cheeses, 1/2 cup sugar, egg yolks, lemon rind and
vanilla extract in a bowl and beat with mixer until smooth. Stir in drained pineapple.
Butter a 12 x 9-inch baking pan and place one sheet filo in it. Butter the filo. Repeat with three more
sheets filo, buttering each. Spoon pineapple-cheese mix over and spread until level. Cover with
remaining four sheets of filo, buttering each. Mark pastry into diamonds and bake for 50 minutes, or
until golden.
Combine 1/2 cup reserved pineapple juice with remaining sugar and lemon juice and cook to a thick
syrup. When baklava is baked, spoon hot syrup evenly over the top. Cool.
RICH TRUFFLE WEDGES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1/2 cup butter or margarine
6 (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate, chopped
3 eggs
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
In a microwave or double boiler, melt butter and chocolate; stir until smooth. Cool for 10 minutes.
In a mixing bowl, beat eggs, sugar, vanilla extract and salt until thick, about 4 minutes. Blend in
chocolate mixture. Stir in flour; mix well. Pour into a greased and floured 9-inch springform pan. Bake
at 350 degrees F for 25 to 30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted near the center comes out clean.
Cool completely on a wire rack.
Glaze
1/4 cup butter or margarine
2 (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate
2 (1 ounce) squares unsweetened chocolate
2 teaspoons honey
Combine ingredients in a small saucepan; cook and stir over low heat until melted and smooth. Cool
slightly. Run a knife around the edge of springform pan to loosen; remove cake to serving plate. Spread
glaze over the top and sides; set aside.
Sauce
2 cups fresh or frozen unsweetened raspberries
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
Whipped cream (optional)
Fresh raspberries (optional)
Mint (optional)
Purée the raspberries in a blender. Press through a sieve if desired; discard seeds. Stir in sugar; chill
until serving time. Spoon sauce over individual servings. Garnish with whipped cream, raspberries and
mint if desired.
Cream Filled Chocolate Easter Eggs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup butter, softened
2 teaspoons salt
4 teaspoons vanilla
1 can sweetened condensed milk (Eagle Brand)
10 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon yellow food coloring
1 lb. semi-sweet chocolate
Beat butter, salt and vanilla until fluffy. Add milk, beat in sugar. Blend until stiff. Dust with brown
sugar. Knead until smooth.
Take about 1/3 of the mixture, and add yellow food coloring. Shape the yellow colored portion into
approx. 20 balls. This will be the "yolk" of your egg. Next divide the white portion into about 20 pieces
of dough. Form the white around the "yolk" to form an oval white egg. Dry at room temperature on
paper towels for 24 hours.
Melt chocolate in double boiler or in microwave until smooth. Dip eggs in chocolate. Note: about 1-lb.
paraffin wax may be added and melted with chocolate to prevent chocolate from melting in your hands.
(Paraffin is optional). Once dipped, cool at room temperature. Refrigerate after cool.
When sliced or bit into, your Cream-Filled Chocolate Easter Eggs will have a white cream filling with a
yellow filling that appears to be the yolk.
Banana Cinnamon French Toast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 large banana, ripe
2 large large eggs
1/2 cup skim milk
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
4 slices bread
3 tablespoons margarine
1/2 cup maple syrup, warmed
Instructions:
Blend first 4 ingredients in processor until smooth. Transfer to 13x9 inch pan. Place bread in milk
mixture and soak until all liquid is absorbed, turning bread occasionally, about 20 minutes. Melt butter
in large, heavy skillet over medium heat. Add bread and cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes per
side. Serve; pass warmed syrup separately.
Deluxe Hash Brown Casserole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 (2 lb.) pkg. hash brown potatoes (frozen), thawed and well drained
1 tsp. table salt
1/8 tsp. black pepper
1/4 tsp. paprika
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1/2 to 3/4 cup peeled, chopped vidalia or sweet type onion
1 clove fresh garlic, crushed, peeled and minced
2 cups sour cream
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/4 cup trimmed, peeled and minced scallions
2 cups grated sharp or cheddar cheese
Instructions:
Thaw and drain potatoes well. Butter a 9x13 inch baking dish. Place potatoes in a medium bowl.
Sprinkle with salt, pepper and paprika and toss lightly. Melt butter in saucepan or microwave. Reserve
2 Tbs. melted butter and drizzle remaining butter on the potatoes. Toss again and place potatoes in the
baking dish. To a heated saucepan, add the reserved 2 Tbs. melted butter and the onions. Sauté onions
on medium-low until somewhat translucent, but not brown. Add the minced garlic during the last
minute of sautéing (optional). Spread onion mixture over the potatoes. In a bowl combine sour cream
and cream of chicken soup. Fold in the scallions. Pour mixture over potatoes. Bake at 350 degrees F.
for about 40 minutes or until heated through. Sprinkle top with cheddar cheese and bake another 10
minutes to allow cheese to melt. Serve hot.
Fried Ice Cream
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 1/2 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 large egg yolks; lightly beaten
3/4 cup flat beer
8 balls of ice cream; any favor,
2 cup cornflakes; slightly crushed
1 quart peanut oil
2 large egg whites
The day before serving, make the batter. Mix the flour, sugar, salt, oil and egg yolks in a mixing bowl.
Gradually stir in the beer. Refrigerate overnight. Also, the day before serving, coat the ice cream balls
thoroughly with the crushed cornflakes. Place the ice
cream balls in the coldest part of the freezer and freeze overnight. When ready to serve, heat the peanut
oil, in a deep fat fryer or deep pot, to 375 Degrees F. Beat the egg whites until stiff and fold into the
batter. Coat 2 or three of the ice cream balls completely and heavily with the batter and add to the hot
oil. Turn up the heat to maintain a temperature of 375 Degrees F. Fry the ice cream until golden brown.
Remove with a slotted spoon to paper towels, draining briefly. Serve immediately. Repeat with the
remaining ice cream balls.
Taco Fiesta Bake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 24-ounce jar salsa
1 12-count package taco shells
1 cup Monterey jack cheese, shredded
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
¼ cup chopped onion or green onion
1 11-ounce can white corn, drained
1 (4.5-ounce) can chopped green chilies
1 15-ounce can black beans, drained
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 tablespoon steak sauce
2 cups sour cream
fresh cilantro sprigs (optional)
chopped fresh tomatoes (optional)
sliced ripe olives (optional)
chopped seeded jalapeño chilies (optional)
guacamole (optional)
Instructions:
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray 3-quart casserole or 9-by-13-inch baking dish with cooking spray.
Spread 1 cup salsa in casserole. Break each taco shell into 4-6 pieces. Arrange half broken shells over
salsa. Spread 1 cup remaining salsa over shells. Sprinkle with ½ cup of each cheeses. Top with onion,
corn and green chilies. Stir together beans, cumin and steak sauce; spoon evenly over mixture in
casserole. Top with remaining broken shells, cheeses and salsa. Cover and bake in preheated oven 20
minutes. Uncover and bake about 10 minutes longer or until bubbly and cheese is melted. Top with 1
cup sour cream and garnish with remaining ingredients, if desired. Serve with remaining sour cream.
Lamb Cutlets In Aromatic Coffee Sauce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
60 grams (2 ounces) butter
1/3 cup strong coffee
1/3 cup honey
2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp mace
1/4 tsp cardamom
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp mixed spice
1/4 tbsp lemon juice
30 grams (1 ounce) ghee
6 lamb cutlets
Boiled rice
Prunes, pitted
Fresh rosemary for garnish
Instructions:
Melt butter on a low heat, mix in coffee, then honey, Worcestershire sauce, spices and lemon juice.
Cover and remove from heat.
Melt ghee in a large frying pan, add cutlets and fry until browned on both sides. Return sauce to heat,
bring to boil and pour over cutlets.
Serve with boiled rice and pitted prunes, heated through in the sauce, if desired. Garnish with rosemary.
Ghee Recipe
1 pound unsalted butter
Put the butter in a heavy, medium-sized pan. Turn the heat on to medium until the butter melts.
Turn down the heat until the butter just boils and continue to cook at this heat. Do not cover the pot.
The butter will foam and sputter while it cooks. Whitish curds will begin to form on the bottom of the
pot. The butter will begin to smell like popcorn after a while and turn a lovely golden color. Keep a
close watch on the ghee, as it can easily burn. After a while it will become a clear, golden color. You
will have to take a clean, dry spoon to move away some of the foam on top in order to see if the ghee is
clear all the way through to the bottom. When it is clear and has stopped sputtering and making noise,
then it needs to be taken off the heat. Let it cool until just warm. Pour it through a fine sieve or layers of
cheesecloth into a clean, dry glass container with a tight lid. Discard the curds at the bottom of the
saucepan. The ghee is burned if it has a nutty smell and is slightly brown.
1 pound of butter takes about 15 minutes of cooking time. The more butter you are using, the more time
it will take.
Ghee can be kept on the kitchen shelf, covered. It does not need refrigeration. The medicinal properties
are said to improve with age. Don’t ladle out the ghee with a wet spoon or allow any water to get into
the container, as this will create conditions for bacteria to grow and spoil the ghee.
Two pounds of butter will fill a quart jar with ghee.
Kahlua Chocolate Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This is my cousin Pin's famous Kahlua Cake. This fabulously easy recipe turns out the moistest,
fluffiest chocolate cake you can imagine. No-one will ever guess that it originated from a mix!”
Ingredients:
1 box "Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Devil's Food Cake" (you can use
other brands, as long as it's Devil's Food and says "moist" on the
box)
1 small box instant chocolate pudding
4 eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup Kahlua
powdered sugar
a 12-cup, ring-shaped bundt pan
butter or oil for greasing pan
(optional: 1/2 cup chocolate chips)
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Mix all ingredients well in a large bowl.
Pour into a greased, 12-cup bundt pan and bake until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out with
crumbs clinging to it, about 45 minutes.
Cool in pan and serve on a platter with powdered sugar lightly sifted over the top.
Fried Bologna Sandwich
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 slice round Bologna, sliced 1/2" inch wide X 1/2 inch thick pieces
1/2 small white onion
2 Tbs. Olive Oil
1 slices 1/2 inch thick Texas Toast
2 slices Jalapeno Jack Cheese, sliced thick
2 slices tomato
12 stuffed green olives, chopped
2 Jalapeno peppers, stems removed and chopped
lettuce, chopped
mayonnaise
Instructions:
Sauté the onion until clear and add the bologna. Cook until meat just turns brown, don't burn the
onions. Toast the bread and put the cheese on both slices and let it melt. Combine the stuffed olives and
peppers. Pat this mixture into the cheese on the bread. Add the bologna and onions. Top with lettuce
and tomato slices. Spread with mayonnaise and serve.
Blue Cheese Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 bunches green onions, washed and then chopped
five stalks of celery, chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh dill
1 cup mayo
1 cup sour cream
2 tsp. lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 - 3/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
5 pounds cooked, cut red potatoes
Mix together green onions, celery, dill, mayo, sour cream, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Then add blue
cheese, and mix well. Let mixture sit overnight.
Toss dressing with potatoes, more salt, and maybe a little vinegar.
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Karl's Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Karl is a "bayman", they are a hearty lot. He is also a professional cook. This recipe is rich and
satisfying and would go great with a cold glass of beer and some Fried Chicken.”
8 Small to Medium Potatoes
Onion
Salt & Pepper to taste
6 Tbs.Vegetable Oil
2 Tbs.Cider Vinegar
1 Cup Mayo (Hellmann's) approx.
4 Hard Boiled Eggs
Hot Sauce to taste
Boil potatoes in large pot with the skins on until tender (don't over cook or you will have mashed potato
salad). Peel under cool running water. Cut into desired chunks. Place potatoes in mixing bowl. Dice the
onion. Wisk together the veg oil and vinegar. Add the oil and vinegar, the onion and salt & pepper to
taste to the potatoes. Mix well. Cover and let stand in the refrigerator over night. The following day add
Mayo diced up egg and hot sauce. Taste and adjust seasoning. Garnish with diced tomato or red pepper.
Classic Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon sugar
5 to 5 med. potatoes, peeled, cubed, cooked
1 cup sliced celery
1/2 cup chopped onion
3 eggs, hard-boiled
1 to 2 Tbs chopped green onions, optional garnish
1 tomato, cut in wedges, optional garnish
Combine mayonnaise, vinegar, salt, sugar, and pepper in a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients; toss
gently to combine well. Cover; chill for 2 or more hours for best flavor. Garnish with chopped green
onion and tomato wedges if desired.
Serves 6 to 8.
American Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 cups cubed cooked potatoes
2 hard boiled eggs, chopped
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup celery slices
1/2 cup chopped sweet pickle (I use sweet and dill both)
1 cup Mayonaise
1 tsp prepared mustard
1/2 tsp celery seed
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
Combine mayonaise, mustard, celery seed, salt and pepper; mix well. Then combine potatoes, eggs,
onion, celery and pickle. Add dressing to potato mixture; mix lightly. Chill.
Dockside Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 ea small bag red potatoes
1/4 c finely chopped onion
1/4 c finely chopped celery
1 ea dill pickle finely chopped
2 T parsley flakes
6 ea strips bacon cooked crumbled
1 ts salt to taste
1/2 ts pepper
2 T red wine vinegar -or- 2 T Balsamic Vinegar
2 T vegetable oil
1 c mayonnaise
Peel and cube your potatoes and cook until fork tender - drain and cool. In a separate bowl mix all the
dressing ingredients - taste as you go cause you might need more salt or vinegar. After the potatoes are
cool, toss lightly so not to mash the potatoes. Sprinkle with bacon bits and chill.
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Mashed Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 cups hot mashed potatoes
1/2 cup chopped celery
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup minced onion
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup vinegar
1 tablespoon dry mustard
salt and pepper to taste
paprika
green bell pepper rings
Combine hot mashed potatoes with celery, salad dressing, onion, milk, vinegar, and mustard. Salt and
pepper to taste and garnish mashed potato salad with a sprinkling of paprika and bell pepper rings.
Crab Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 pounds red potatoes
1 onion, chopped fine
1 bunch of green onion,finely chopped
chopped pickles to taste (dill)
2 - 3 cups of mayonnaise (more if you like)
1 package dry ranch dressing
1 pound crabmeat
Peel and boil potatoes. Drain when fork tender; cool. Meanwhile, chop onions and pickles. Mix all
ingredients well; refrigerate several hours or overnight.
This is very good with a summer sandwich or grilled chicken. We eat it all year round. Also, you can
use imitation crab if you prefer.
61
Sour Cream Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 medium potatoes, about 2 pounds
1/2 cup finely chopped cooked ham
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1/4 cup chopped celery
3 tablespoons butter or margarine
1 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Cook potatoes, covered, in boiling salted water for 25 to 30 minutes or just until tender, Peel and slice
potatoes to make about 6 cups. Meanwhile, in a large skillet cook ham, onion, green pepper, and celery
in butter or margarine until tender; drain off fat. Stir in sour cream, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Heat
through but do not boil. Combine sour cream mixture and potatoes in a large serving bowl. Serve potato salad right away.
62
Hot Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 slices bacon, diced and cooked until crisp
4 tablespoons bacon drippings
1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
4 cups sliced cooked potato
Cook bacon; set aside. Heat bacon drippings; blend in flour, sugar, salt and mustard. Gradually add
vinegar and water, stirring constantly until smooth. Continue cooking over low heat, stirring, until
thickened. Add potato and heat through, gently stirring to mix. Sprinkle with reserved bacon.
63
Creamy New Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 pounds red potatoes, unpeeled, cut into 1-inch cubes
2 cups ranch salad dressing
2 cups mayonnaise
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 cup purple onion, finely chopped
1 cup celery, thinly sliced
1 cup green pepper, diced
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon dill, chopped, or 1 teaspoon dried dill
Cook potatoes in boiling salted water for 13 to 14 minutes until done. Drain and let cool.
Place all other ingredients in a large mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. Add potatoes to bowl and mix
well. Cover loosely and chill.
Garnish with purple onion rings, if desired, before serving.
64 Party Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15 medium red potatoes
3 cups mayonnaise
1 T. mustard
1 tsp. dill weed
5 T. cider vinegar
3 tsp. sugar
2 T. parsley
2 large hard-boiled eggs, chopped
2 large carrots, shredded
6 green onions, thinly sliced
10 oz. thawed frozen peas (see note)
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
Wash potatoes and cut into cubes. Put one layer of potatoes on a flat, microwave safe dish. Cover
loosely with plastic wrap. Microwave on high 9 minutes. Continue in this manner until all potatoes are
cooked.
Put potatoes aside to cool. Combine remaining ingredients. Pour over cooked, cooled potatoes.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Cook's note: Thaw peas by placing in a colander under cold running water for 3 to 4 minutes.
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Southwestern-Style Potato Salad Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 large potatoes, peeled and cut in 1 1/2" chunks (or 2 lbs. new potatoes)
1/4 C. white wine vinegar
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
2 medium green bell pepper, chopped
6 green onions, chopped
12 oz. can whole-kernel corn, drained and rinsed
1/2 C. sliced black olives
1/4 C. chopped fresh cilantro
Cook potatoes until tender when pierced with a fork. When potatoes are cooked, drain and cool for 10
minutes.
Put cooked potatoes into a large bowl and sprinkle with 1/4 C. white wine vinegar. Stir gently.
Add peppers, green onions, corn, olives and cilantro. Pour dressing over top and stir gently to combine.
Refrigerate until ready to serve. Make several hours ahead to allow flavors to blend.
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Bacon-Avocado Potato Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 medium red-skinned potatoes, scrubbed
2 avocados, halved, pitted, peeled, cubed
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
8 slices bacon, cooked crisp, diced
1/2 cup sliced green onion
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Salt and pepper to taste
Dressing:
2 cups mayonnaise or salad dressing
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro
Quarter or cube the potatoes. Place the potatoes in cold water to cover in large pot. Bring to a boil,
reduce heat slightly and cook until potatoes are tender. While the potatoes cook, place the cubed
avocados in a bowl, sprinkle with the lime juice and toss to coat; set aside.
Drain the potatoes and allow to cool to room temperature. Place the potatoes, bacon, green onion and
cilantro in a large serving bowl. Season with salt and pepper and toss lightly to combine.
Mix together the dressing ingredients. Taste the dressing and adjust the lime juice and cilantro if
necessary. Add the dressing to the potatoes and throughly mix. Fold in the cubed avocados.
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Marzipan Recipe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Marzipan recipe can be used for marzipan fruits, chocolate dipped marzipan confectionery or to
ice cakes. The quantities given will ice one medium sized cake.
75 - 100 grams / 3 - 4 oz of ground almonds
1 cup of icing sugar
½ cup of castor sugar
1 egg yolk
2 tablespoons of fresh strained lemon juice
½ teaspoon of almond essence
In a medium sized bowl or food processor mix together the ground almonds, icing sugar and castor
sugar. Make a well in the centre of the mixture and add the egg yolk, strained lemon juice and essence.
Taste and add more essence if desired. Mix together thoroughly. Turn out onto the bench dusted with a
mixture of icing sugar and cornflour and knead the mixture until smooth. Use as required.
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Caesar Salad Recipe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caesar Salad is named after chef Caesar Cardini who created it in his restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico in
1924. It became popular in Hollywood and is now considered an American classic.
1 cup of mayonnaise
3 cloves of garlic
1 large lemon, halved
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
4-5 anchovy fillets
4 tablespoons of freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 Coddled Eggs
1/2 cup of olive oil
1/2 stick of butter
5 cups of 1 centimetre (½ inch) bread cubes, preferably a day old
4 cloves of garlic
2 heads romaine lettuce, leaves separated, washed, dried, unblemished leaves
1/3 cup of Parmesan cheese, freshly grated or shredded into paper thin strips
Dressing
Squeeze lemon - you should have about 2 ounces of lemon juice. Combine the mayonnaise and garlic
in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth and creamy. Add the lemon juice, salt, anchovies
and Parmesan cheese and process to blend.
Croutons
Heat the oil and butter in a large frying pan or skillet and fry the garlic until light brown but not burnt,
stirring frequently. Discard the garlic and then shallow fry the bread cubes stirring constantly until
golden. Remove from the heat, season with salt and pepper and cool to room temperature.
Assemble
Pour the dressing into the bottom of a large salad bowl. Add the romaine, and toss together until the
leaves are all coated and shiny. Break eggs over the salad. Add the some cheese and toss again until the
leaves are well coated. Add the croutons and toss lightly to mix. Arrange individual leaves on a dinner
plate, stem side out, the easier to eat with the fingers as Caesar Cardini intended.Sprinkle the cheese
over and serve immediately.
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How To Coddle Eggs
Coddled eggs are made by very briefly immersing an egg in the shell in boiling water (to cook in water
just below the boiling point) to slightly cook or coddle them.
The best eggs for coddling are the freshest eggs you can find. If eggs are more than a week old, the
whites thin out. whites of fresh eggs will gather compactly around the yolk, making a rounder, neater
shape.
Using Coddled Eggs in Caesar Salad
Soft-Boil or Coddle Method - To coddle eggs, place room temperature egg(s) in simmering water for 1
to 2 minutes. Remove from water and serve.
Microwave Coddled Eggs - To "coddle" the eggs, them into a small glass bowl. Place the bowl in
the microwave oven and heat for 15 seconds. This will slightly cook the eggs, yet they will still have a
runny consistency.
Transfer eggs to ice water to stop cooking. Carefully remove eggs from shell and whisk them together
with the rest of the vinaigrette in a bowl
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JELLO SHOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 package jello (any flavor works)
1 cup vodka
1 cup boiling water
1 pack gummy bears
Dissolve 1 package Jello into the boiling water. Once dissolved and the cup of vodka. Pour into
individual shot glasses.
After pouring drop a gummy bear into each shot (mixing colors gives nice effect).
LIME IN THE COCONUT JELLO SHOTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 package lemon Jello
2 packages lime Jello
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 can coconut milk or juice
2 cups coconut rum
2 1/4 cups water
Bring water to the boil and remove from heat. Slowly stir in the 3 Jello packages, then add the water,
the coconut milk or juice, and the lime juice. You put the lime in the coconut and mix it all together.
Wait 3-4 minutes and stir in the rum. Pour into individual serving sized or plastic shot glasses and chill.
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Vegan "Jello" Shots
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 cup sweet fruit juice
1 cup coconut rum or vodka
1/2 teaspoon agar powder
1/2 tablespoon corn starch
Directions:
Pour the juice into a microwave-safe container or a small pot. Mix in the agar powder and let sit for
about 5 minutes. Bring the juice to a boil in the microwave or on the stove and boil or simmer for about
1 minute. Stir in DISSOLVED cornstarch* and rum or vodka. Pour mixture into about 15 to 18 shot
glasses or small cups.
Refrigerate at least a few hours to let the "jello" set. Keep refrigerated until use.
*To dissolve the cornstarch, mix it with about 1 to 2 Tbsp. COLD water.
Notes:
“The consistency is similar to gelatin-based Jello, but a little softer, which in my opinion slides down
your throat easier.”
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Potato Chip Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 lb Butter
1 c Sugar
1 ts Vanilla
3 c Flour
2/3 c Chopped nuts
2 c Crushed potato chips.
Cream the butter, sugar and vanilla together. Add
flour, nuts and crushed potato chips. Mix all well.
Drop by teaspoonfuls on ungreased cookie sheet
Bake at 350~F for 10 min. When cool, coat in
powdered sugar.
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Butter Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cookies:
2 1/2 c All-purpose flour
1 c Sugar
1 c Butter; softened
1 Egg
1 ts Baking powder
1 tb Orange juice
1 tb Vanilla
Frosting:
4 c Powdered sugar
1/2 c Buter; softened
2 ts Vanilla
4 tb Milk
In large mixer bowl combine all cookie ingredients. Beat at low speed, scraping bowl often, until well
mixed (1 to 2 minutes). Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours. Heat oven to 400 degrees. On lightly
floured surface roll out dough, one-third at a time to 1/4-inch thickness. Cut with 3-inch cookie cutters.
Place 1 inch apart on cookie sheets. Bake for 6 to 10 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Cool
completely.
In a small mixer bowl combine all frosting ingredients except milk. Beat at low speed, gradually adding
enough milk for desired spreading consistency. Frost cooled cookies. For variety, divide dough into
thirds before refrigeration. Color 2/3 of dough with desired food colorings. Before baking, colored
sugars may be sprinkled on the cookies. The frosting can be colored and used as decoration.
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Death By Chocolate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
3 pk Ladyfingers
1/2 cups Dark rum
1 1/2 lb Butter (no substitutes)
27 oz Semisweet chocolate chips
12 Eggs
2 1/2 cups Heavy cream
1/2 cup Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
2 tb Vegetable oil
This recipe can be made a week or so in advance, or so I'm told. It's more like a mousse than a cake, but
it is ly rich!
1. Paint outside of the ladyfingers with rum, and place flat side down, around the sides and on the
bottom of a 10 in. springform pan. Melt butter in medium pan; remove from heat and add 24 oz. of the
chocolate bits. Stir until melted; cool slightly. Beat the egg yokes into the mixture one at a time until all
are incorporated into the chocolate. Beat the egg whites until they form stiff, not dry, peaks. Fold the
whites into the chocolate mixture, and pour into the lined springform pan. Chill for at least 6 hours.
2. Whip the cream until thickened and add the sugar and vanilla. Continue whipping until very stiff.
Turn the cake onto a serving platter, removing the pan sides and bottom (the lady fingers will now be
on top). Spread a layer of whipped cream over the entire cake, then pipe the rest of the whipped
decoratively however you wish around the cake - be imaginative! Melt the remaining chocolate chips
with the oil in a double boiler. Cool completely. Dribble the sauce down the sides of the cake. Garnish
with stemmed candied cherries. Store in the refrigerator.
Note: If the cake is going to be displayed for any length of time, you may wish to use stabalized cream,
and add 1 teaspoon of dissolved gelatin to the cake mixture.
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NO-BAKE PEANUT BUTTER AND CORNFLAKE
COOKIES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 cups cornflakes
1 cup chopped nuts
In a deep kettle, add:
1 cup sugar
1 cup white syrup
Heat, (boil). Stir, and take off heat immediately.
Add to syrup - mix well:
2 cups peanut butter
Pour over cornflakes. Using full size teaspoon, set one cookie at a time on sheet of wax paper or
aluminum foil.
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Ice Cream Brandy Punch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 cups cream
1 cup brandy
1 egg
3 cups vanilla ice cream
1 Combine cream, brandy and egg in a bowl and beat until smooth. Add ice cream (cut into small
pieces) and beat until frothy. Serve and enjoy!
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Chocolate Lover's Cake With Marshmallow Icing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This easy recipe is a chocoholic's dream come true!"
1 (18.25 ounce) package devil's food cake mix
1 (3.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
2 cups sour cream
1 cup melted butter
5 eggs
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 10 inch Bundt pan.
2 In a large bowl, stir together cake mix and pudding mix. Make a well in the center and pour in sour
cream, melted butter, eggs and almond extract. Beat on low speed until blended. Scrape bowl, and beat
4 minutes on medium speed. Blend in chocolate chips. Pour batter into prepared pan.
3 Bake in preheated oven for 50 to 55 minutes. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire
rack and cool completely.
Chocolate Marshmallow Icing:
2 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup evaporated milk
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup butter
1 cup marshmallow cream
To Make Chocolate Marshmallow Icing:
In a saucepan over medium heat cook the 2-1/2 cups white sugar and the evaporated milk to the soft
ball stage 238 degrees F (114 degrees C). Stir in semi-sweet chocolate chips, 1/2 cup butter or
margarine and the marshmallow cream. Stir until all are melted. Remove from heat and beat until
cooled. Spoon over top of cooled cake.
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Volcanic Baklava
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This yummy dessert is truly a sensual experience. That is because if it is made right, when you eat it,
the sweet goo liberally coating all aspects of the baklava will be oozing down your fingers, over your
wrists and across your arms. This will require much licking to remove the sticky substance, which will
then soon be all over your face as well. I can recommend this as a lovers dessert, but not a treat for the
kiddies, who will undoubtedly mix the goo with copious quantities of dirt.”
The Pastry
Ingredients:
4 cups chopped pistachio nuts
1/4 cup sugar
1 lb or 500 g phyllo leaves
(Though this is terribly redundant, since "phyllo" means "leaves" in Greek)
2 cups unsalted butter well melted.
(Salted butter or margarine are not acceptable. Mind you, I've never seen unsalted margarine.)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
dash of ground cloves
Instructions:
In a large bowl combine nuts, sugar, cloves, cinnamon.
Preheat oven to 350F/170C.
Melt the butter over low heat. Layer 3 sheets of the phyllo dough brushed with butter in a 12 X 8 X 1
inch or 30 X 20 X 2-1/2 centimeter baking pan. Trim dough to fit.
(What these recipes never include is a recommendation for what sort of material the pan ought to be
made of, which greatly affects the time it takes to bake. A clay pan may require the addition of as much
as 15 minutes to the cooking time, glass may also add minutes, and aluminium may require the shaving
off of a few minutes. You know what? Take a book with you into the kitchen while baking and peek
into the oven on a regular basis and adjust.)
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Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the pistachio mix over the phyllo dough.
Layer 3 more sheets of dough brushed with butter and sprinkle with 2 more tablespoons of pistachio
mix. Continue to layer dough and nut mix until pan is 3/4 full.
With a sharp knife, score phyllo dough to form diamonds (diamonds are a 's best friend!). Pour
remaining butter over the dough.
Bake 45-60 minutes on middle shelf of oven. When pastry appears golden brown it is sufficiently
baked.
The Syrup:
Ingredients:
2 cups sugar
1-1/2 cups water
1/2 cup honey
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
2 Tablespoons rose water or citrus blossom water
(One of these days I'd like to try other scented waters like lime or maybe even chocolate liquer and see
what that does to the flavour.)
Instructions:
In a saucepan boil 2 cups sugar and 1-1/2 cups water until the syrup will thickly coat the back of a
wooden spoon.
Add 1/2 cup honey and boil.
Cook over medium heat 20-25 minutes until thick & syrupy.
Add 2 Tablespoons of rose water or citrus blossom water and 1 Tablespoon of lemon juice.
Skim foam off syrup and allow to cool.
Allow pastry to cool only 5 minutes then pour syrup over it and allow it to soak in for 2 hours.
“Holey-moley! Do you think we could all manage to wait that long? How many of you eat cookie
dough before it is cooked? Since hot syrup is rather dangerous, if you try eating it before the two hours
are up, make sure you have a glass of milk or water nearby.”
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Peanut Butter Pound Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
3 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
5 eggs
3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube pan. In a large mixing bowl, combine butter,
peanut butter, sugar and vanilla; beat until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after
each addition. In another bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt; stir into butter mixture
alternately with milk.
Pour into greased and floured pan. Bake at 350° until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean,
about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Cool in pan 15 minutes on wire rack. Remove from pan. Cool completely
on wire rack. Drizzle cake with Peanut Butter Frosting.
PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING:
In saucepan over low heat, melt 1/2 cup each peanut butter and light corn syrup. Stir in 2 cups
powdered sugar, 1 tablespoon milk, and 1 teaspoon vanilla; mix until smooth. Makes 1 1/2 cups.
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The Next Best Dessert
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cool Whip
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup crushed nuts
grated chocolate candy bar
1 1/2 sticks margarine
8 ounces cream cheese
1 cup Cool Whip
1 cup confectioner sugar
2 boxes chocolate instant pudding
3 cups half and half
Combine flour, crushed nuts and margarine. Press into 13x9 pan and bake at 350 degrees for 25
minutes. Let cool. Cream together cream cheese, cool whip and confectioner sugar. Spread over 1st
layer. Mix
together chocolate instant pudding and half and half. Spread over 2nd layer. Combine cool whip,
crushed nuts and a grated chocolate candy bar. Spread over the top for garnish.
*Note: Refrigerate while preparing each layer and refrigerate until firm before serving.
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BACON AND EGG LASAGNE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12 lasagne noodles, cooked, drained
1 lb. bacon, cut in 1 inch strips
1 c. onions, chopped
1/3 c. bacon drippings
1/3 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
4 c. milk
12 hard-cooked eggs, sliced
2 c. (8 oz.) Swiss cheese, shredded
1/3 c. grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp. parsley, chopped
In large skillet, cook bacon until crisp; drain, reserving 1/3 cup drippings. Set bacon aside. Cook onions
in bacon drippings until tender. Add flour, salt and pepper; stir until a paste forms. Add milk; cook and
stir until mixture comes to a boil and is thickened. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 x 9 inch
baking pan. Spoon a small amount of white sauce into bottom of pan. Divide lasagne noodles, bacon,
white sauce, eggs and Swiss cheese into thirds; layer in pan. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Bake at
350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Sprinkle with parsley. Let stand 1 minutes
before serving. Recipe can be completely prepared the day before serving. Cover; refrigerate. Bake,
covered at 350 degrees for 25 minutes, uncovered 15 to 20 minutes longer or until hot.
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CARROT CAKE SUPREME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE: This cake is most easily made if you start at least one day ahead, since the filling is best left to
chill overnight.
PECAN CREAM FILLING:
1 1/2 c. sugar
1/4 c. flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. heavy cream
6 oz. (3/4 c.) unsalted butter
1 1/4 c. chopped pecans
2 tsp. vanilla extract
CARROT CAKE:
1 1/4 c. corn oil
2 c. sugar
2 c. flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
4 eggs
4 c. grated carrots (about a 1 lb. bag)
1 c. chopped pecans
1 c. raisins
CREAM CHEESE FROSTING:
8 oz. soft unsalted butter
8 oz. soft cream cheese
1 (1 lb.) box confectioners' sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
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PECAN CREAM FILLING: In a heavy saucepan, blend flour, sugar and salt. Gradually stir in cream.
Add butter. Cook and stir mixture over low heat until the butter has melted, then let simmer 20-30
minutes until golden brown in color, stirring occasionally. Cool to lukewarm. Stir in the nuts and
vanilla. Let cool completely and then refrigerate, preferably overnight. If too thick to spread, bring to
room temperature before using.
CARROT CAKE: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube cake pan. In a large
bowl, whisk together the corn oil and sugar. Sift together the flour, cinnamon, baking powder, baking
soda and salt. Sift half of the dry ingredients into sugar-oil mixture and blend. Alternately add rest of
the dry ingredients with eggs, adding one by one. Combine well. Add raisins and pecans. Pour into pan
and bake 70 minutes.
Cool upright in the tube pan on a cooling rack. If you are not using cake that day it can be removed and
wrapped well in plastic wrap and stored at room temperature.
CREAM CHEESE FROSTING: Cream the butter well. Add cream cheese and beat until blended. Sift
in the sugar and add vanilla. If too soft to spread, chill a bit. Refrigerate if not using immediately, but
bring to a spreadable temperature before using.
ASSEMBLY: Have filling and frosting at a spreadable consistency. Loosen cake in pan and invert.
With a long se knife, carefully split the cake into 3 horizontal layers. Spread filling between
layers. Spread frosting over top and sides. (You may pat toasted coconut on sides, if desired.)
This cake is a Philadelphia tradition, served at the Commissary Restaurant. It is well worth the effort.
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CHOCOLATE GOOEY BUTTER CAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 box chocolate cake mix
2 eggs
1 stick melted butter
1 box powdered sugar
2 eggs
1 (8 oz.) Philadelphia cream cheese
1/2 c. powdered sugar
Mix first 3 ingredients and pat into 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan. Mix next 3 ingredients and pour on top of cake
mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Cool. Sprinkle on top 1/2 cup of powdered sugar.
DUMP CAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~
1 box chocolate, pineapple or white cake mix
1 stick butter, softened
1 c. chopped nuts
2 eggs
1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese
1 tsp. vanilla
In a 9 x 13 inch pan, combine cake mix, butter and nuts into a crumbly mixture. Mix 2 eggs and 1 (8
ounce) package Philadelphia cream cheese until smooth. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla. Pour over crumbs
mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes - Yum!
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Orange Shortbread Squares
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup margarine (the regular kind), at room temp.
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1/3 cup orange juice
2 Tbsp. grated orange peel
Powdered sugar
In small bowl, combine 2 cups flour, baking powder and salt. In large bowl, with electric mixer at
medium speed, beat margarine and 1/2 C. sugar until light and fluffy. At low speed, gradually stir in
flour mixture until well blended. Chill 2 hours.
Press dough into 13x9x2-inch pan. Bake at 350F for 20 minutes.
In large bowl, beat eggs, remaining flour and sugar, juice and peel until light and fluffy. Pour over
baked layer, bake 30 minutes more.
Cool. Sprinkle with powdered sugar; carefully cut into 1 1/2 inch squares.
Makes 3 dozen
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Four Layer Dessert
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1st Layer:
1 stick margarine (melted)
1 c. flour
1/2 c. pecan chips
Mix together, pat into bottom of pan. Bake at 350 degrees no longer than 15 minutes (crust won't be
brown). Let cool.
2nd Layer:
1 (8oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
1 c. powdered sugar
1 c. Cool Whip
Mix together & spread on cooled crust.
3rd Layer:
2 small boxes instant pudding, any flavor. (We LOVE chocolate fudge!)
3 c. milk
Mix & pour on 2nd layer.
4th Layer:
8 oz. Cool Whip
Spread on 3rd layer & sprinkle with pecan chips. I also like to add mini chocolate chips. Um um good!
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7-Up Cake
~~~~~~~~~
Cake Ingredients:
3 sticks butter or margarine, softened
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
3 cups flour
3/4 cup 7-Up, room-temperature
For Lemon Curd Sauce:
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 sticks butter or margarine
Juice of 6 lemons
6 eggs, beaten
Directions:
FOR CAKE: Cream butter and sugar together well. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition.
Add flour and mix well. Fold in the 7-Up.
Pour into a greased and floured bundt pan, and bake at 325°F for 1 1/2 hours or until brown.
LEMON CURD SAUCE: In a saucepan, over medium heat, stir together sugar, butter, and lemon juice.
Add eggs and continue stirring until sauce has thickened and is simmering softly.
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Hamburger Salad Sandwiches
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1 jar of mayonnaise
salt and pepper
1 loaf of white bread
optional, shredded cheese of choice or bacon bits
Directions:
Brown ground beef and let cool.
Mix mayonnaise in with ground beef, salt, and pepper, to consistency of egg salad. Chill and let set.
Add additional, optional ingredients to make bacon cheeseburger salad sandwiches.
Spread liberally on white bread and enjoy!
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CHOCOLATE MUD CAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAKE:
1 c. butter, softened
2 c. granulated sugar
4 eggs, at room temp.
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 c. flour
1/3 c. unsweetened cocoa
ICING:
1/3 c. unsweetened cocoa
3 c. powdered sugar
1/2 c. butter, melted
4-5 tbsp. milk
1/2 c. chopped pecans
Spray 13x9 inch baking pan with non-stick spray; set aside.
In large bowl, beat on high butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well.
Stir in vanilla.
In medium bowl, combine flour and cocoa; fold into butter. Spread batter into prepared pan. Bake 25-
30 minutes at 350 degrees until toothpick comes out clean. Cool slightly.
For topping, in medium bowl, combine cocoa and powdered sugar. Stir in butter and enough milk to
make a thick glaze. Spread over warm cake. (The heat from the cake will melt glaze slightly.) Sprinkle
with pecans. Cool completely before cutting.
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Raspberry Cheesecake Cookie Pizza
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3/4 c Butter or margarine
3/4 c Sugar
1 Egg yolk
1 ts Vanilla
1 1/2 c All-purpose flour
8 oz Cream cheese; softened
1 Egg
1 tb Sugar
1/3 c Seedless raspberry preserves
1/4 c Sliced almonds; toasted
Beat the butter or margarine in a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for
30 seconds. Add the 3/4 cup sugar and beat till combined. Beat in egg yolk and vanilla till combined.
Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Stir in any remaining flour with a wooden
spoon. Spread dough in a lightly greased 12- or 13-inch pizza pan. Bake in a 350~F oven about 25
minutes or till golden. Meanwhile, beat together cream cheese, 1 egg, and the 1 tablespoon sugar till
smooth. Spread over hot crust to within 1/2 inch of the edge. Dollop reserve on top. With a knife,
carefully swirl preserve to marble. Sprinkle with almond. Bake 5 to 10 minutes more or till filling is
set. Cool in pan on a wire rack. Cut in wedges. Store in refrigerator.
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Cream Cheese Pound Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients
3/4 lb Butter
3 c Sugar, granulated
1/2 lb Cream cheese
6 lg Eggs
3 c Cake flour, sifted
1/4 t Salt
1 1/2 t Almond extract
1 t Vanilla extract
Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees F. Cream the butter, sugar and cheese together until the mixture is light
and fluffy. Add salt, vanilla and almond extract. Beat well. Add eggs, one at a time, blending well after
each.
Stir in flour. Don't be vigorous; mix it just enough to incorporate the flour. Spoon into a greased tube
pan. Bake in preheated oven for 1 1/2 hours. Cool for 15-20 minutes, then invert the cake onto a
serving dish and remove the tube pan. If you wait too long, it will stick.
Serve with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.
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RED LOBSTER CHEDDAR BAY BISCUITS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 cups Bisquick
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup shredded Sharp Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Mix Bisquick, milk and cheese until a soft dough forms. Drop by spoonsful onto an ungreased cooking
sheet. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes until golden brown. Mix butter and garlic powder. Brush mixture over
warm biscuits before removing from cookie sheet.
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World's Best Chicken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 to 8 whole chicken (slit, boned and butterflied)
1/2 C. all-purpose flour, seasoned to taste
1/2 C. butter
Juice of 1 lemon
1 1/2 lbs. fresh s, sliced
3 cups whipping cream
2 cups fresh grated parmesan cheese
Minced fresh parsley
Pound each breast between sheets of waxed paper until very thin, then dredge in flour and shake of
excess.
Melt butter in large frying pan and saute each breast 1-2 minutes on each side. Drizzle with lemon juice
while frying. Transfer chicken to two large 9-by-13-inch baking dishes and set aside.
Saute s in butter left in skillet, adding more butter if necessary, then spoon s and
drippings over chicken.
Pour cream over all, then top with cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees F. for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley before serving.
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Doughnut Pudding!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 stale cake doughnuts or crullers (no jelly ones)
1 C. raisins
4 eggs
1 1/2 C. milk
1 C. heavy cream
3 Tbsp. sugar
Chop or break doughnuts into small pieces. Mix with raisins.
Beat the eggs, then beat in milk, cream, and sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved.
Butter a baking dish and pour in the doughnut/raisin mixture, then pour the egg/milk/cream mixture
over all. Let stand at least 15 minutes.
Set dish in a roasting pan containing enough boiling water to come halfway up the side of the pudding
dish. Bake at 375 F until center is set-about 20 minutes.
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Valentine Pie
~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a recipe that's easy,tasty and will show your mate that you care.
1-Graham er pie shell
1-pkg.vanilla instant pudding
2-cups 1/2 & 1/2
1/4 to 1/2 cup of Baileys Irish Cream
small chocolate hearts to decorate
Mix the pudding as per package but use 1/2 & 1/2 instead of milk.Then add a 1/4 cup of Baileys and
taste,you might want to add another 1/4 cup.Pour pudding into pie shell and put in fridge for 5
minutes.Remove from fridge and decorate with the chocolate hearts and return to fridge.
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Italian Chicken Wings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is a coating mix for chicken wings that I'm sure you'll like.
1-cup fine bread crumbs
1/2-cup parmesan cheese
1-teaspoon oregano
2-teaspoons basil
1/4-teaspoon black pepper
1-teaspoon parsley flakes
2-tablespoons chili powder
Here is the trick with this coating,and for that matter with any coating.Mix all ingrdients together in an
airtight plastic bag,except for the parmesan cheese 1-day before you are going to coat the wings.This
allows the spices to blend with one another.Add the parmesan cheese from the fridge to the bag 1 hour
before coating and re-seal bag and allow to sit at room temp.
Rinse all your wings under cold water and pat semi-dry then add to bag a few at a time to coat.Pour a
small amount of olive oil to coat the bottom of a shallow metal baking pan and spread the coated wings
around in the pan.Cook wings for 45 minutes at 350.Do not turn wings when cooking.Hope you enjoy
this recipe.
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Chocolate Eclair Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This little darling will take a little time, but once tasted you'll make two at a time.”
1-box chocolate graham ers
2-small boxes of instant chocolate pudding
3 1/2 cups of half and half
8 oz.Cool Whip-thawed
Grease a 9x13 pan.
Line bottom with ers
mix both boxes of pudding with half and half,use a wisk
then add the Cool Whip and mix well.
Spread 1/2 of the pudding on top of ers,then add another layer of ers.
Spread the balance of pudding on this layer of ers and top off with a final layer of ers.
Refridgerate for 2 hours.
After 2 hours mix the following ingredients and pour over
the top.
6-tablespoons cocoa
2-teaspoons Crisco oil
2-teaspoons white Caro syrup
3-tablespoons soft butter
1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar
3-teaspoons vanilla extract
3-tablespoons milk
Refridgerate for 48 hours before eating
“Lick all the bowls if you have to,this baby is worth the wait.”
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High Calorie Cheese Sandwich
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
oil for frying
4 teaspoons of mayonnaise
4 slices of bread
4 slices of cheese
1 cup of milk
2 eggs
2 cups of dry bread crumbs
Heat oil in a frying pan.
Spread one teaspoon of mayonnaise onto each slice of bread.
Place 2 pieces of cheese onto one slice of bread, then top with the other side of bread.
The mayonnaise should be on the inside.
In a bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.
Place the bread crumbs into another dish.
Dip each sandwich into the egg mixture, then coat with bread crumbs.
One at a time, immerse the sandwiches in the preheated oil.
Fry until the cheese is melted, and the crust is golden brown.
Repeat with the other sandwich. Place on paper towel to absorb excess oil before serving.
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High Calorie Shake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a blender, mix 1 pint of ice cream, one pint of heavy cream and one jar of peanut butter.
“One of my favourite drinks is to put two pints of Haagen Daz Vanilla ice cream and a quart of heavy
cream and several heaping tablespoons of Strawberry Quick in a blender and mix. It makes a super rich,
creamy smooth strawberry shake that goes great w/ pizza.”
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Coach's Italian Sandwich
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1-crusty loaf italian bread
1-lb.hamburger
1-lb.italian sausage mild or hot
2-small cans pizza sauce
1/4 onion
1-cup mozzarella cheese
Brown the hamburger,sausage and onions till cooked,add both cans of pizza sauce and simmer.
Slice the loaf down the middle lengthwise and fill.
Slice the cooked sausage lengthwise cover with cheese and wrap in foil and heat in 325 oven 15-20
mins till cheese is melted.
This is a 1 person sandwich packing a whopping 4000 cals. Bon Apetit
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Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1 (16 ounce) package cream cheese
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions:
In double boiler melt chips and add heavy cream, mix until smooth take off of heat.
In mixing bowl cream together sugar and cream cheese until smooth, slowly add chocolate mixture.
Mixture will thicken up as the chocolate cools.
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Coffee Chuck Roast (for the Crock Pot)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 lrg yellow onions
4 cloves garlic, minced
4lb Chuck Roast
1 cup brewed strong coffee
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup corn starch
8 tblspns cold water
1. Quarter the beef roast
2. Place half of the onions and garlic in the bottom of the crock pot
3. Add half the beef
4. Repeat 2 & 3 (w/ the other half of the onions, garlic and beef.)
5. Combine the coffee and soy sauce over beef and onions
6. Cover and cook on low for 7-8 hours
7. remove beef
8. Combine cornstarch and water; whisking to smooth
9. add juices in crock pot and stir well
10. Return beef to crock pot and cover, cooking for another 30 minutes on high.
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Pecan Snowball Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1 Tablespoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans
powdered sugar for dusting
Cream butter thoroughly. Add balance of ingredients except powdered sugar and mix well. Roll into
balls about walnut size. Place on ungreased cookie sheet for 25-30 minutes in 300F oven. Roll in
powdered sugar immediately and cool on waxed paper or on a plate. Store in an airtight container.
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Pumpkin Bread
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pumpkin Bread - Makes 2 loaves
3 cups Sugar (I use sugar in the raw)
4 eggs (I use cage free)
2 cups pumpkin
1 cup canola oil
3 1/3 cup unbleached flour
2 tsp Baking Soda
2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp Sea Salt
1 tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Nutmeg
1/8 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp ginger
1/3 cup water
Preheat oven to 300 Degrees F. Grease and Flour 2 loaf pans.
Combine sugar, eggs, pumpkin, oil and water, and mix well with a wooden spoon in a large bowl.
Combine the dry ingredients in a medium sized bowl with a wisk, then add slowly to the wet
ingredients. Be sure everything is mixed well - batter will be moist.
Bake at 300 degrees for about an hour - they are done when a toothpick comes out clean.
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Candied Butternut Squash
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 large Butternut squash (this will also work with an acorn squash), about 2 to 3 lbs
1/2 stick sweet cream butter, melted
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
Dash Allspice
Peel squash with a vegetable peeler, discarding stem and end part. Chop in half and remove seeds with
a spoon. Chop squash into 2 inch pieces and place in a large microwave safe bowl. Cover bowl loosely
with plastic wrap and poke a few airholes. Cook on high power for 10 minutes or until squash is soft.
Mash squash with a potato masher until it has the consistency of mashed potatoes. Stir in Butter, sugar
and spices and combine well.
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Tomato Cream Soup With Noodles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients
1 can condensed tomato soup
1 can's worth of half n half, or milk (half n half makes it creamier)
1 tablespoon sweet cream, unsalted butter
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
1/2 lb macaroni noodles, cooked and drained
Return cooked macaroni to pot you boiled it in, and set heat to Low. Mix in can of soup, half n half and
butter and stir well to combine. Sprinkle black pepper to taste and stir. Warm through thoroughly until
heated through, about 5 to 8 minutes, stirring occasionally.
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Quick Cheese Bread
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 3/4 cups of flour
5 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup of margarine
3 cups shredded cheddar
1 1/2 cups of milk
2 eggs slightly beaten
Combine all dry ingredients.Cut in margarine until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.Stir in
cheese.Combine milk and eggs and add to cheese mixture until just moistened.Spoon into 9"x
5"greased loaf pan.Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour.Remove from pan immediately and let cool on wire
rack.Makes 12 slices.
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BROWN RICE PUDDING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 cups milk
1/2 cup short-grain brown rice
1/4 teaspoon seasalt
1/2 cup milk
3 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup raisins
Bring milk, rice and salt to simmer in heavy medium saucepan. Reduce heat to low. Cover and gently
simmer until rice is very tender and liquid is almost absorbed, stirring occasionally, about 1 1/2 - 2
hours.
Whisk milk, eggs, sugar, vanilla and cinnamon to blend in medium bowl. Stir in raisins. Gradually stir
egg mixture into rice mixture. Stir over low heat until mixture is just thickened, about 6 minutes.
Transfer to bowl. Cool. Refrigerate until well chilled. top with a dusting of cinnamon and nutmeg.
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Yummy Waldorf Salad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 apples, peeled, chopped ( I used fuji apples )
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped coarsly
2 celery ribs, sliced
1/2 cup raisins
2 tablespoons lemon juice (or lime is fine)
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 teaspoon seasalt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon paprika
1/2 head romaine lettuce, shredded
Directions
In a medium bowl combine peeled, chopped apples, chopped walnuts, sliced celery ribs, and raisins.
In a small bowl combine lemon juice, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, and paprika. Mix well. Add to the
apple mixture and thoroughly combine. Serve over shredded lettuce
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Chili!
~~~~~
Ingredients
1 lb ground turkey or beef
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 medium sweet onion, chopped
1 large can Bush's mild flavor kidney beans (it has a mild sauce in it - leave this in)
1 large can Bush's dark kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 8 to 10 oz can of tomato sauce
1/2 cup hot water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 and 1/2 tblsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
Sea salt and Freshly ground black pepper to taste
In a large pot brown off meat - cook at a medium flame until no pink is showing on meat. Drain meat in
colander and set aside.
In the same pot (don' t rinse out), add the olive oil and saute the onion and green pepper at medium
flame for 8 minutes. Add meat back in and saute for another 2 minutes.
Lower flame to simmer, and add all other ingredients and stir will to combine. Cover pot and simmer
for 45 minutes, stirring occassionally.
Top with chopped scallions, shredded Cheddar or Jack, or both cheese, and a dollup of sour cream.
“I like to serve this with cornbread. Enjoy!”
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Apple Crisp
~~~~~~~~~~
Topping:
4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
4 apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2-inch dice
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
Vanilla ice cream or heavy cream, for serving (optional)
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Butter an 8-inch square baking dish.
2. For topping, combine the butter, sugar, flour, oats and cinnamon in a bowl. Work together with
fingertips until mixture resembles coarse meal. Toss in nuts; set aside.
3. Toss the apples with lemon juice and spoon into the baking dish. Sprinkle topping evenly over the
apples. Bake in center of the oven for 1 hour or until bubbly and the apples are tender. Let cool slightly.
Serve warm, topped with ice cream or cream, if desired.
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Pig out Tortillas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1-lb Ground beef
6-Green onions
1-jar Pace chunky salsa,mild,medium or hot
favourite hot sauce
3-cups shredded cheddar
1-1/2 cups sour cream
1-large bag Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips
Brown beef in skillet,do not drain.Add chopped onion and stir in jar of salsa,add hot sauce to taste.Preheat
oven at 350.Lightly grease a large cookie sheet and spread out tortilla chips and heat for 20
minutes.Remove from oven and sprinkle 1-cup of cheese over tortilla chips and return to oven to
melt.Dish out large portion of tortilla chips in bowl and pour meat mixture on top and top with reserved
cheese.I guarantee you'll eat it all.We're talking calories by the thousands.Enjoy.
114 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Honey Chicken
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
1/2 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
4 boneless, skinless chicken or 4 boneless, skinless thighs
1/2 cup sweet cream butter, melted
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 tablespoon light soy sauce
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour and salt, and dip chicken in it to coat. Arrange chicken in
baking dish. Pour melted butter over chicken and bake for 30 minutes.
Whisk remaining ingredients togehter and pour over chicken. BAke 30 minutes longer, basting often.
Remove from heat, serve hot.
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SweetPotato's 3 bean Chili
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Chili season is upon us...
I usually put this together from the top of my head, but I'll try my best”
Tomato sauce(the size of the can depends on how much you want to make.)
1 lb of ground beef
1 can of kidney beans
1 can of chili beans
1 can of pinto beans
(Chic peas are optional)
sliced jalepenos(can be adjusted to how spicy you want it)
Basil
salt
“I usually serve it with loads of shredded cheese. The more cheese the better.”
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Creamsicle Pie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
2-pkgs instant vanilla pudding
4-cups 1/2 & 1/2 instead of milk
2-graham er pie shells
orange food colouring
orange extract
Mix each package of pudding with 2 cups of 1/2 & 1/2 in 2 separate bowls.
1 bowl keep as vanilla,the second bowl add orange extract to taste and 1 teaspoon of orange food
colouring.Fill both pie shells 1/2 way with vanilla and then top both with the orange pudding. Place in
fridge for 1/2 hour. “These are addictive you'll probably eat both and you should.”
117 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
D's Macncheese
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients:
4 tbs butter
2 tbs flour
1 cup milk
1 lb log of velveta cheese, cubed
1 pound macaroni, cooked and drained
Melt butter in medium saucepan. When butter is melted add milk, and then flour and whisk at first to
rid lumps. Once mixture is smooth, stir constantly with a wooden spoon over medium-low heat until
thickened. Add cheese and stir until melted.
Add cheese mixture to cooked noodles and stir well to combine - viola! all done
You can also put it in a greesed casarole dish, and top with breadcrumbs and bake at 350 degrees F for
about 1/2 hour for a nice crumbly topping.
to reheat, add a bit of milk and microwave until heated through.
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Yummy Filling and Fattening Drink for Summer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This is probably the most simple recipe you'll ever find.”
All you need is:
1 Can of your favorite soda (I like Mt. Dew).
2 Scoops of the most high calorie French Vanilla ice cream you can find. ( I like Bryer's ).
Pour can of soda into blender, ad the 2 scoops of ice cream (more scoops if you want) and blend on
LOWEST speed for about 10 seconds or until frothy. Don't worry, the soda won't explode.
A hint: Use the Mt. Dew for Haloween drinks. Use the new Orange Mt. Dew and vanilla ice cream to
make an 'Orange Julius' tasting drink. For a REAL THRILL: Use Coke or Pepsi and ad Chocolate
Syrup.
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Super Fat Snacks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ok my simplest one first all you need is a loada lard (pure fat), or butter and a loada sugar.
I call it Comfort Paste”
Lets say 4 sticks of lard/butter
a decent sized pack of sugar
Leave the lard (if its frozen) until its easy to stir.
Mix it around once in a bowl, we don't want any air in it. Then just pour the sugur in slowly as you stir.
You should come out with a whity yellow paste that tastes like heaven. You can melt it as a drink or to
pour through a funnel. Freeze it to eat normally or leave it as a paste.
“My next recipie is the high fat bacon sandwich.”
You need 4 big strips of bacon
2 peices of white bread (thick or thin)
a lot of cooking oil (preferably animal fat)
Pour the oil into a frying pan so about half a centemetre of the pan is submerged. Warm it up for about
10 mins then put your first peice of bread in. (warning careful when the oil spits). Fry both sides and do
the same to the other peice. Do exactly the same with the bacon but DON'T take the fat of the strips.
Try to fry them as long as possible because the more they cook tyhe more fat they absorb. The fat on the
stip should be crispy and salty. Put the bacon on the bread add a bit of melted butter and a pinch of salt
and your finished.
“Ok the wash the bacon sandwich down try the thick chocolate creamshake.”
You need: For 1 helping
A pot of thick cream (big)
2 tablesthingys of sugar
A glass of melted comfort paste
A quarter pint of milk (full cream)
A chocolate bar
A bit of chocolate icecream (try to make it double chocolate chip)
Melt the chocolate and icecream put them together
Put half the sugar in the milk and half in the cream and mix.
No real skills involved now all you need to do is put it all in a blender now. If it doesn't all fit half it or
quarter the mix. Once your finished top it of with some whipped cream and Chocolate shavings.
120 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Brown Sugar Tomatos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ingredients
1/4 cup Olive oil
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
2 teaspoons of dark brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons Dijon-style mustard
Salt and freshly ground pepper
3 medium tomatoes, sliced
4 scallions, chopped
1. In a small bowl, whisk together the oil, vinegar, brown sugar and mustard. Season the dressing with
salt and pepper to taste.
2. Arrange the tomato slices on a serving platter and drizzle on the dressing. Sprinkle scallions on top.
I serve this as a side dish, or eat it as a snack - it's very yummy especially with home grown tomatos!
121 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Garlic Cheese Bread
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time: 15 to 20 minutes
What you need:
1 loaf French bread, sliced horizontally (the 1lb kind)
4 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 cup grated parmesan cheese
4 ounces grated mozzarella cheese
4 ounces shredded cheddar cheese
2 tbsp minced garlic (I'm a garlic fanatic and I like using 4tbsp)
Preheat the broiler. Place the bread open faced on a cookie sheet. Spread the butter on the bread then
the minced garlic. Spread the mayo on next. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese, mozzarella cheese and
cheddar cheese. Broil 6 to 8 minutes until the cheese is melted and lightly browned.
'”Ok, I know it sounds weird with the mayo. But trust me, it tastes good. If you just think it you can't
take the mayo then just leave it out or reduce the amount. It tastes good without the mayo too. You can
also substitute garlic powder for the minced garlic. Just remember garlic powder tends to have a more
powerful taste than the real thing (imho). You can use garlic salt as well but definitely reduce the
amount so you don't make it too salty.”
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Rice Crispy Treats
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“One of my all time favorite snacks. And they are very easy to make too”
Time: 10 minutes
What you need:
1/4 cup butter
1 pkg (10 oz) of marshmallows
6 cup Rice Crispies cereal
Melt butter in large saucepan/pot over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted.
Remove from heat. Add rice crispies cereal. Stir until well coated.
“Now most people will spread the mixture on waxp paper covered cookie sheet and cut into little
squares. Not me! The whole batch goes into a large bowl and with a tall glass of milk I munch on it
while either watching TV or on the computer.”
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Peanut Butter Fudge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Nothing like peanut butter fudge!!”
Cooking time: 20 minutes plus about 2 hours to cool down
What you need:
1/2 cup butter
2 1/4 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir in brown sugar and milk. Bring to a boil and boil for 2
minutes, stirring frequently. Remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter and vanilla. Pour over
confectioners' sugar in a large mixing bowl. Beat until smooth. Pour into an 8x8 inch dish. Chill until
firm (about 2 hours).
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Frozen Strawberry & Pineapple Treat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's something for hot summer days.. enjoy!
Time: 15 minutes to make. 24hrs to set/freeze.
What you need:
3/4 cup white sugar
8 ounces cream cheese softened
1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple drained
1 (10 ounce) package frozen strawberries thawed
2 bananas diced
1 (8 ounce) container of whipped cream thawed
In a bowl cream together the sugar and cream cheese until smooth. In a separate bowl, mix together the
pineapple, strawberries, bananas, and whipped topping. Then fold the fruit mixture into the cream
cheese mixture until evenly blended. Spread mixture into a large container or divide among several
small bowls. Cover with plastic wrap and freeze overnight.
Note: You can eat this dessert frozen or let it thaw for about 20 minutes or so before eating. I usually
eat a bit thawed out. Also, you can add other things as well. Walnuts, raisins, etc. Go wild!
125 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
Deep Fried Cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I know it sounds freaky but believe me it is so good and fattening too!”
Cooking time: 10 to 15 minutes
What you need:
1 quart cooking oil for deep frying (a deep fryer is perfect for this)
1 package chocolate sandwich cookies with creme filling (like Oreos)
2 cups dry pancake mix (the 'just add water' kind)
1 cup water
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar for dusting
Heat oil in a deep fryer or large pot to 375 degrees F. Mix pancake mix with water according to
package directions. When the oil comes up to temperature, dip 4 or 5 cookies at a time into the batter
and fry in hot oil, turning once, until golden brown (about 3 to 4 minutes). Remove from fryer and drain
on paper towels. Sprinkle with confectioners' sugar and serve.
“Try dipping other goodies in the batter and deep frying them. I've done marshmallows, mini candy
bars and twinkies. Some state fairs I've gone to have the deep fried twinkies. So I'm not he only freaky
cook out there LOL!”
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Graham er Pudding Cake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I got this recipe somewhere and forgot what the name was. I just called it the 'graham er pudding
cake' The original recipe was a low fat, but I modified it using the goooood stuff. Enjoy!”
Cook time: 15 to 20 minutes
What you need:
2 individual packages graham ers or more
2 (3 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
3 cups of heavy cream (whole milk or half'n'half works too, but the cream is the best)
1 (8 ounce) container whipped topping thawed
1 (16 ounce) package prepared chocolate frosting (actually, you can use any flavor but I think chocolate
tastes best)
Line the bottom of a 9x13-inch pan with graham ers. Combine pudding mix and cream in a big
bowl. Stir well. Stir in whipped topping to pudding mixture. Spread half of mixture over graham
cracker layer. Top with another layer of graham ers and the remaining pudding. Spread frosting on
remaining graham ers and place on top of last layer of pudding mixture. Refrigerate for a couple
of hours to let the pudding mixture set.
Note: if you really want to make this even more fattening, make the layers of graham ers into
graham er crust (graham er crumbs + sugar + butter)
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Cream Cheese Filling
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ok, you all know that sweet cream cheese filling in pastries? Stop drooling LOL! As much as I love
the flaky part of pastries sometimes I'm too lazy to make it so I settle for just the filling. This makes a
yummy late night snack. Enjoy!”
Cook time: 10 minutes
What you need:
2 (8 ounces) packages cream cheese at room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 egg yolk
1 ts vanilla extract
Cream together cream cheese and sugar in a bowl. Beat in egg yolk and vanilla. “Go grab a spoon and
the remote and reacquaint yourself with being a couch potato.”
“I usually use a cream puff pastry for the filling or just eat it by itself. I've dipped pieces of fruit in it
and thats tastes pretty good. I've used it as a filling in between a layer cake too and that went over well
with friends. Here's the recipe for the pastry I use at home...”
Cook time: 30 to 45 minutes
What you need:
1/2 cup butter
1 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
In a large pot, bring water and butter to a boil. Stir in flour and salt until the mixture forms a ball.
Transfer the dough to a large mixing bowl. Using a wooden spoon or stand mixer, beat in the eggs one
at a time, mixing well after each. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet. Bake for 20
to 25 minutes until golden brown. Centers should be DRY! When the shells are cool, either split and
fill them with cream cheese filling or use a pastry bag to pipe the filling into the shells.
“I've filled these puff pastries with stawberry jam and rasberry jam before and that tastes pretty good
too. You can just about fill them with anything that you have a taste for. Maybe just pure frosting?”
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The Dip
~~~~~~~
“I love cooking! And I love snacking! So watch out ppl”
Cooking time: 15 to 20 minutes
What you need:
1 lb ground beef or pork (sausage can be used too)
2 -15oz cans of refried beans
1 cup of salsa (any kind)
1/2 lb of cheese shredded (any cheese would do)
Sour cream for taste (optional)
Big bag of corn chips. Preferably the ones for dipping.
Brown ground meat in a large skillet on med-high heat. Do NOT drain fat. Reduce heat to medium and
add refried beans and salsa, stir well until heated completely through. Pour into bowl(s). Top with
cheese and sour cream. Open bag of corn chips. Go seat your merry self in front of the TV or PC and
snack away!
Note: You can add or take out some of either the meat or beans to suit your own personal taste. Same
with the salsa. For those who like it hot, add a few tblsp of hot sauce when adding the beans and salsa.
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Pecan Pie Bars
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I love pecan pies! Here's a recipe I came across and trust me, it is goooood.”
Cooking time: About an hour to make and about 30 minutes to cool.
What you need:
CRUST:
3 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup butter
1/2 ts Salt
FILLING:
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups corn syrup
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 tb butter, melted
1 1/2 ts vanilla
2 1/2 cups pecans, chopped
CRUST: Beat flour, 1 cup butter, 1/2 cup sugar and salt until mixture resembles crumbs. Heavily grease
bottom and sides of 15"x10" baking pan at least 1-1/2" deep. Press mixture firmly into pan and bake at
350 degrees for 20 minutes.
FILLING: Blend eggs, corn syrup, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 3 tablespoons butter and vanilla. Stir in chopped
pecans. Spread over hot crust. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until set. Cool, cut into bars.
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Simple Mega Fat Recipes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Think of this like the way a non cook … or possibly like a college student can get fat, easy “recipes”
loaded with lots of fatty ingredients. Enjoy …”
Bacon Nachos
Simply fry up some bacon (a whole pack if you want), get it nice and crispy, once its done pour the
excess bacon grease in a cup and put it aside (you can use it later) then lay all the bacon on a
microwave save plate … get out some Velveeta or other processed cheese microwave it like you would
if you were making cheese dip … once its done simply pour it over your place of bacon, add a nice
sprinkle of salt to top it off … enjoy!
Super Ice Cream
Take a carton of some fatty ice cream like Blue Bell … any plain flavor (nothing mixed in, try basic
chocolate or vanilla) melt it down in a big bowl … add some sugar, cookie crumbles, and anything else
you can think of to add some extra calories to the mixture … once your done put the bowl in the freezer
… the next day (or whenever its fully frozen) pull it out, you still have ice cream, but ice cream with a
little something extra!
“I’ll dream up some more later … lol this is fun … and sure to add some fresh stretch marks to all those
beautiful bellies out there. : )”
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HEAVENLY HASH BROWNIES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 eggs, beaten
2 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup margarine
1/3 cup cocoa
1 1/2 cups pecans, chopped
6 1/4 ounces miniature marshmallows
Combine eggs, sugar, flour and vanilla extract. Melt margarine and add cocoa. Add to egg mixture and
beat well. Add nuts. Bake in a 13 x 9-inch pan at 350 degrees F for 25 to 30 minutes.
As soon as cake is taken from oven, cover with marshmallows. Return pan to oven until marshmallows
are slightly melted. Pour Chocolate Frosting over marshmallows and cool before cutting. Makes 48
brownies.
Chocolate Frosting
1/2 cup margarine, melted
1/3 cup milk
3 tablespoons cocoa
1 (16 ounce) box confectioners’ sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Combine margarine, milk and cocoa. Beat in sugar and vanilla extract.
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Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1-cup butter
4-cups icing sugar
2-cups smooth peanut butter
1-1/2 cups Graham er crumbs
Chocolate topping
1/2 cup butter
1-cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Melt 1 cup of butter and mix in 4 cups icing sugar,2 cups peanut butter,and 1 1/2 cups of Graham
cracker crumbs.
Pat down level in a 10" x 14" jelly roll or baking pan.
For topping melt 1/2 cup of butter and 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips and spread on top.Place in
fridge for 1 hour,then cut into bars.
1-pan 8730 calories
1-pan 612 g fat
“holy moly those sound goood! Why cant ya find recipes like this just everywhere. sigh. the whole
world cares too much about calorie counting and not enough about flavor and richness. LOL”
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Belly Buster Ice Cream Pie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1-frozen deep dish pie shell
1-pint each of vanilla,chocolate,and peppermint ice cream
8-egg whites
1/2-teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4-teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2-cup of sugar
CHOCOLATE SAUCE
6-squares (6 ounces) sweet chocolate
6-squares (6 ounces) unsweetened chocolate
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1 1/2 cups of heavy cream
Prick bottom of pie shell before baking according to package.
Slightly soften all 3 pints of ice cream,then layer in baked pie shell.
Beat the egg whites with the vanilla extract and cream of tartar until soft peaks form.
Gradually add 1/2 cup of sugar while beating until the egg whites are stiff and glossy and the sugar has
dissolved.
Spread the meringue over the ice cream to the edges of pastry.
Broil 30 seconds to 1 minute to brown topping.
Freeze pie for several hours.
To prepare the chocolate sauce put all the chocolate,1 1/2 cups of sugar,and 3/4 cup heavy cream in the
top of a double boiler.Cook until sauce is thick and melted.Add balance of cream to achieve a smooth
pour.Pour sauce over pie before eating.
“This recipe is better than 4500 cal.per pie.”
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Bonus **High Calorie** Shakes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milk Shake
***1250 calories per serving!***
6oz Half & Half (220 calories)
8oz Heavy Cream (750 calories)
1tbsp MCT Oil (80 calories)
2tbsp Protein Powder (25g, 100 calories)
2tbsp Nestle Quick (100 calories)
“This shake isn't balanced. It's about 60% fat, 30% protein and 10% carbo. A meal that really parks you
because there isn't enough easy burning carbohydrates. You can gain 35 pounds (95-130 lbs) in about 3
or 4 months, drinking 4 to 5 16 oz glasses of these shakes daily.”
Another Milkshake
**** 750 Calories Total Per Serving ****
Take a pint of half and half or a half pint of whole milk and a half pint of heavy cream, add one
envelope Carnation Instant Breakfast, and stir.
620 calories half and half
130 calories Instant Breakfast
It would take about 5 of these to grow one pound of fat. One per night would produce about 6 pounds
per month. Combine one shake with one sandwich and you have an even 10 pounds per month gain
right there.
Ice Cream and Creamer Shake
**** 1800 calories per serving ****
16oz of International Delight French Vanilla Coffee Creamer
2 cups of Chocolate Marshmallow Ice Cream
Mix the two items and pour into a glass and drink.
1280 calories international creamer
520 calories ice cream
It would take just over 2 of these drinks to grow one pound of fat. If you increased either of the
ingredients abit, you can reach 3500 calories. If you drink two of these a day, it would assist with
increasing the calorie intake closer to 7000 calories.
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Oreo Milkshake
8 oz whole milk
One packet vanilla carnation instant breakfast
1/2 cup high fat Oreo ice cream
5 Double Stuff Oreos
Mix in the blender. Served in a frozen beer mug with a straw. Cookies are a nice addition. (Put the milk
in the blender first then the cookies so they'll soften up for a minute.)
Raspberry Chocolate Shakes
1 cup fresh raspberries or frozen raspberries, thawed and drained
3 scoops chocolate ice cream
1/2 cup milk
In a blender process the berries, frozen yogurt and milk until the mixture is smooth. Serve in a tall glass
and garnish with extra berries
Chocolate Milk Shake
3 scoops chocolate ice cream
Chocolate syrup
1/2 cup of half and half
In blender combine all ingredients and blend until smooth. Pour into glass and serve.
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Maus Mix / Maus Shake
**** Between 1305 & 3912 total calories ****
A lot of gainers like to drink a high calorie shake for the obvious advantages: you don't have to cook it,
or chew it, and you can drink it down quickly for extra calories before you're body tells you that you're
full or use it to top off after a meal when you are already full. Shakes are great at bedtime too.
A shake tastes good or bad depending on what you put in it. Most of the gaining shake mixes at the
health food stores are mainly milk protein. They are gritty and taste awful and aren't really all that
effective for gainging fat.
Fat being twice as dense in calories than carbohydrates is the our choice for a food substance that can
pack lots of calories into a small volume. Most high fat drinks are based on cream which is high in
artery clogging saturated fat. Polyunsaturated fats are better but monounsaturated fats are best and
actually lower LDL cholestrol levels. The two common sources of monounsaturated fats that are olive
oil and canola [rapeseed] oil. I have chosen canola because it is less expensive.
However, you can not just add oil to a shake because water and oil do not mix. Fat can only be digested
after it is first emulsified or broken into tiny droplets. Lecithin is a natural soybean product and acts as
an emulsifier not only making the oil digestable but also eliminating the oily taste. This emulsion of
water and oil is what we've called Maus Mix. It is our cream substitute. Lecithin is available in health
food stores and most stores in liquid, granule, and capsule form. For our purposes the liquid is
preferable. If you use capsules, just break them open and squeeze out the liquid inside. For granular,
disolve in hot water first.
Drinking straight Maus Mix would be a lot like drinking cream. Not all that tastey and most likely too
consentrated to be easily digested. So rather than drink it straight,you should combine it with traditional
milk shake ingredients: milk and ice cream, just using Maus Mix to up the calories. It takes several
hours to digest the fat so pay close attention to how you feel during this time. If there is any digestive
problem, stop drinking the Maus Shake and email me at once. Ok, now we get down to it... MAUS
MIX!
Mix 4 teaspoons of liquid lecithin with one cup of milk and stir in one cup of oil. Stir or put it in a jar
and shake until all the oil is gone and you have 2 cups of a white watery liquid.
Now for the shake... MAUS SHAKE
Mix one pint of ice cream with one quart of whole milk and add flavoring [I prefer chocolate syrup].
Stir until the ice cream is mostly melted. Add the 2 cups of Maus Mix and stir. Store Maus Shake in the
refrigerator in a big plastic jug until needed. Be sure to shake it up again before drinking.
Calorie contents: 800 ice cream, 600 milk, 2080 oil.
Week 1 Drink one cup of Maus Shake, three times a day. 1305 calories.
Week 2 Drink one and a half cup of Maus Shake, three times a day. 1956 calories.
Week 3 Drink two cups of Maus Shake, three times a day. 2610 calories.
Week 4 Drink two and a half cups of Maus Shake, three times a day. 3912 calories.
137 Personal Wealth Without Sacrifice www.wealthlink.com/bbrewster
More uses for Maus Mix
One of the problem a lots of folks have with Maus Shake is that you make it by the half gallon. Parents
are bound to get suspicious when they notice a gallon jug of milk shake with oil floating on top.
What I've started doing is making it up by the glass. Let me share a few applications that I've been
putting it to this week.
Maus Milk: 2 tablespoons oil, 1 tablespoon lecithin, 8oz milk, vanilla or chocolate flavor. shake well
and drink.
Maus Juice: 2 tablespoons oil, 1 tablespoon lecithin, 8oz orange juice. shake and drink.

2009-05-21T16:30:00.001-04:00

What is a Fat Admirer?
A "fat admirer", as stated in my previous post, is a person who is attracted to fat people. This term however, is mostly used as a way to label the men who like fat women. For example, I have been labeled as a fat admirer since I am attracted to fat women. For the women, however, there's the term "female fat admirers" (which is kinda obvious). These are the women who have an attraction for fat men. Also, these terms can also be used for homosexual and bisexual individuals as well. There was the term "chubby chasers" being used for the homosexuals, but from what I heard, they don't really use that term in the community anymore.FAs can be classified into groups. There's the "closet FA," who is an FA but not very public about it and the "outed FA," who is an FA who is very public about it. People can be one or the other, but never both. Closet FAs are usually that way because they might be afraid that their peers might not accept it. Outed FAs, however, don't really care what their peers say and publicly announce their attraction to anyone. There are some people who are confused as to whether they are an FA or not. You might be an FA and not even realize it!However, I will say that I don't really agree with the term. "Fat admirer" makes it sound like I'm only admiring the fat of a woman. Yes, I am admiring the curves, but I am also admiring the beauty of the woman in general. Fat women have a special kind of beauty that skinny women don't. Don't get me wrong, I love women of ALL sizes. I'm just more attracted to women of larger size.Some folks believe that it is a freaky thing being attracted to overweight people. But for most of us, it’s just a preference. For example, there are some guys out there who are attracted to just s or blue-eyed gals. You don’t ridicule them for that, do you? So basically, there’s no reason to ridicule an FA for what he likes.Here is a link to where a woman from Dimensions listed her view of the top ten reasons her husband (and possibly all FAs) like big women: Click Here.
Posted by bmann0413 at 3:27 PM 2 comments
Labels: Dimensions, fat admiration, fat admirer
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Common Terms
Here are some common terms found within the fat community. I will state the terms first then the acronym and finally the definition.Basic TermsFat Admirer (FA) - A male whom is attracted to fat females (or fat male if gay).Female Fat Admirer (FFA) - A female whom is attracted to fat males (or fat females if gay).Big, Beautiful Woman / Women (BBW) - A fat woman / women (considered "overweight" to most of society).Big, Handsome Male / Men (BHM) - A fat man / men (considered "overweight" to most of society).Super-Sized Big, Beautiful Woman / Women (SSBBW) - A very fat woman / women (considered "obese" to most of society).Super-Sized Big, Handsome Male / Men (SSBHM) - A very fat man / men (considered "obese" to most of society).There are also some more rare terms used within the community:Big, Beautiful, Black Woman / Women (BBBW) - A fat, black woman / women (considered "overwight" to most of society).Super-Sized Big, Beautiful, Black Woman / Women (SSBBBW) - A very fat, black woman / women (considered "obese" to most of society).Ultra-Sized Big, Beautiful Woman / Women (USBBW) - An incredibly fat woman / women (considered "extremely obese" to most of society).There are some terms that sometimes, though rarely, fall into the basic terms. This deals with the "Feederism" sub-community, which I will go deeper into on another blog post.Feeder - A person whom finds it gratifying to feed their partner or another person food.Feedee - A person whom finds it gratifying to be fed by their partner or another person with food.Gainer - A person whom finds it gratifying to gain weight.Encourager - A person whom encourages their partner or another person to gain weight.Stuffer - A sub-term of "feedee" whom finds gratification in stuffing themselves (or by way of another person) with food.One of the terms in the gay community, "chubby chaser," is not often used, especially within the fat culture. Unfortunately, I have heard people use this term outside the gay community to label regular FAs, but I just thought you'd like to know that it's not for use anywhere but the gay community. However, I haven't heard it been used at all, let alone the gay community so I don't think this term is actually in use anymore. But I'm not gay, so what do I know?Please note that I will be going into more deeper into detail about these different terms later on in this blog, so you will have a better understanding of them. But for now, know these terms. And if I missed anything or if something is wrong, please do not hesitate to leave me a comment stating what it is.
Posted by bmann0413 at 1:44 AM 0 comments
Labels: common terms, fat acceptance, fat admirer, size acceptance
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Eating Strategies to Gain Weight
It costs 3500 calories to gain one pound. That means, in order to gain one pound a
week, you have to consume 500 extra calories every day. Here are some tips for
getting those extra calories into your daily meal plan.
Eat frequently! -- Make time for 3 large meals and
2-3 hefty snacks every day.
Eat larger than normal portions at meals!
Eat higher calorie foods! -- Choose dried fruit,
starchy vegetables, dense whole grain breads and
cereals, hearty bean soups, nuts...
Add lots of “extras” to food! -- Don’t eat anything
plain.
Add healthy unsaturated fats: olive and canola
oil, nuts, seeds, peanut butter, avocados.
Add healthy carbs and protein: honey, jam,
dried fruit, wheat germ, nonfat dried milk
powder, soy protein powder.
Make beverages count! -- Drink shakes, milk, juice,
etc. instead of water, coffee, tea, and diet sodas.
Do resistance exercises! -- Weight training helps
convert the extra calories into muscle rather than
flab. Aim for 2-3 times per week.
TRY THESE QUICK-N-EASY BREAKFAST IDEAS:
⇒ Whip together 2 cups fruit juice, 1 cup fresh, frozen or canned fruit, 1 cup
yogurt, 1/4 cup dried nonfat milk powder, and 1/4 cup wheat germ or oat bran
for a high energy liquid meal to go.
⇒ Spread peanut butter, honey, or jam on large bagels, muffins, hearty whole
wheat bread/toast, graham ers or stoned wheat ers. Grab an extra
large banana and wash it down with a tall glass of milk
⇒ Fill a plastic bag with raisins and nuts (trail mix) or your favorite dry cereal.
Grab an 8 oz container of fruit yogurt and a couple cans/boxes of fruit juice.
⇒ Nontraditional ideas:
* Heat up leftover pizza, pasta, or Chinese food from last night’s dinner.
* Make a peanut butter and honey, grilled cheese, tuna, or turkey sandwich.
* Pop a baked potato in the microwave for 5-10 minutes; top with chopped
veggies (frozen ones are quickest) and melted cheese, canned chili, or
hearty bean soup.
* Wrap vegetarian refried beans, shredded low fat cheddar cheese, and
tomato salsa in a couple of flour tortillas.
TRY THESE QUICK-N-EASY SNACK IDEAS:
⇒ Dry cereal: Wheat Chex, Shredded Wheat, Cheerios, Oat Squares, granola.
NOTE: Add raisins or other dried fruits to boost the calories and carbs.
⇒ Pretzels: Naturally fat free. Look for reduced salt or salt-free varieties if you
are watching your salt intake.
⇒ ers: Stoned wheat, sesame, bran, RyKrisp, or other low fat or fat free
brands NOTE: Spread with peanut butter or add slices of cheese to boost the
calories and protein.
⇒ Bagels: The bigger the better. Look for whole wheat, pumpernickel, rye, or
ones with seeds to get the most nutrients. NOTE: Spread with peanut butter,
honey, jam, or low fat cream cheese to boost the calories.
⇒ Fruits: Bananas, apples, oranges, grapes, or other fresh fruits. NOTE: Dried
fruits (like raisins, apricots, and dates) are especially easy to pack and very
calorie dense.
⇒ Nuts and seeds: Peanuts, pistachios, almonds, sunflower seeds and other nuts/
seeds are high in calories and good sources of protein, healthy
monounsaturated fats, vitamin E, and several other vitamins and minerals.
⇒ Sports bars, breakfast bars, and low fat granola bars: Prewrapped, very
portable, and very tasty.
Foods to Choose When You Need More Calories
Breads
Choose hearty, dense breads such as whole wheat, oat bran, pumpernickel, or
rye (as opposed to fluffy white breads). The bigger and more thickly sliced the
better! Spread generously with peanut butter, jam, honey, hummus, or low fat
cream cheese.
Cereals
Choose dense cold cereals such as granola, muesli, Grape-Nuts, lin Oat
Bran, Shredded Wheat n Bran or Wheat Chex (instead of flaked or puffed
cereals). When making oatmeal and other hot cereals, use low fat milk instead
of water. Add extra nuts and dried fruits for flavor.
Vegetables
Starchy vegetables such as potatoes, peas, corn, carrots, winter squash, and
beets have more calories than watery veggies like broccoli, cauliflower,
zucchini, green beans, and cucumbers.
Fruits
Bananas, pears, apples, pineapple, and all dried fruits (raisins, dates, dried
apricots, etc.) have more calories than watery fruits such as oranges, peaches,
plums, berries, and watermelon. Buy canned fruit packed in heavy syrup,
instead of its own juice, for extra calories.
Soups
Select hearty black bean, lentil, split pea, chili with beans, barley, or
minestrone soups. These soups have more calories and carbohydrates than
brothy chicken, beef, and vegetable types.
NOTE: Creamed soups and chowders are also high-calorie choices, but they
are very high in saturated fat and should be eaten in moderation.
Salads
Rather than filling up on watery lettuce, pile on the garbanzo and kidney beans,
green peas and corn, chopped vegetables, sunflower seeds and chopped
walnuts, raisins, cottage cheese, lean meats, tuna fish, and croutons. Top with
a liberal amount of vinegar and oil type dressing.
NOTE: Creamy dressings are high in calories, but also high in saturated fat.
Beverages
Quench your thirst with fruit juices and nectars, low fat milk, shakes, fruit
smoothies, and regular soft drinks. Avoid filling your stomach up with non
caloric beverages like water, coffee, tea, and diet soft drinks.
HEALTHY HIGH-FAT ADDITIONS
Try... Instead of...
canola or olive oil
use to stir fry vegetables, chicken, butter
and lean meats
add to pasta, tomato sauce, and salads creamy sauces and creamy salad dressings
nuts and seeds *
add to hot or cold cereals, stir fry dishes,
vegetables, casseroles, salads
natural peanut butter *
spread on bread, bagels, ers butter, cream cheese
trans-free tub margarine
add to potatoes and other vegetables, instead of gravy, sour cream, and butter
hot cereals, soups, breads, rice
low fat and fat free cheeses *
sprinkle on casseroles, soups, and salads regular cheeses
melt on vegetables
serve on sandwiches and ers
low fat and fat free cream cheeses
spread on bagels and ers regular cream cheese
serve with fruit
avocado
add to sandwiches, salads, mayonnaise, sour cream
and Mexican dishes
HEALTHY HIGH-CARBOHYDRATE AND PROTEIN ADDITIONS
Add Carnation Instant Breakfast, Nestle’s Quick, Ovaltine, or malt powder to flavor low fat
milk.
Add dried fruit, sugar, or maple syrup to sweeten hot or cold cereals.
Spread honey, jam, or jelly on breads, bagels, and ers.
Add wheat germ or oat bran to casseroles, hot cereal, or power shakes.
Mix nonfat dry milk powder or soy protein powder into shakes, casseroles, mashed potatoes,
soups, and hot cereal.
* Also a good source of protein.
Sample Weight Gain Menus
The key to gaining weight is to consistently…
eat larger than normal portions,
choose healthful, high calorie foods and beverages,
and make time for three meals plus one or more hefty snacks every day!
These sample menus suggest healthful, high calorie, carbohydrate rich sports meals and snacks.
Eating at Home:
Approximate Calories
Breakfast
1 ½ cups orange juice 165
1 cup granola 500
1/4 cup raisins 120
1 large banana 130
2 cups 1% low fat milk 200
Total 1115
‘
Lunch
1 7-inch pita pocket 240
1 6.5 oz can tuna 200
4 Tbs. lite mayo 150
1 tomato + lettuce/sprouts 50
1 can lentil soup 360
1 1/2 cups apple juice 200
Total 1200
Dinner
3 cups spaghetti 600
1 cup Prego pasta sauce 300
1 10 oz pkg. frozen spinach 75
or 1 1/2 cups frozen mixed veggies
1/4 cup parmesan cheese 120
1 slice hearty wheat bread 100
1 1/2 cup 1% low fat milk 150
Total 1345
Snack
2 slices hearty wheat bread 200
2 Tbs. peanut butter 200
3 Tbs. jelly 150
2 cups 1% low-fat milk 200
2 medium carrots 60
Total 810
Day’s Total: 4470 calories
Eating on the Run:
Approximate Calories
Breakfast (at Bagel Shop)
2 large bagels 600
3 oz lite cream cheese 260
1 cup low fat fruit yogurt 250
12 oz orange juice 165
Total 1275
Lunch (at McDonald’s)
1 Grilled Chicken Delux 330
1 sm french fries 210
16 oz low fat chocolate shake 340
1 large (32 oz) Sprite 310
1 large banana 130
Total 1320
Dinner (at Pizza Place)
1 medium (10-inch), thick 1200
crust cheese + veggie pizza
Salad Bar (1 cup lettuce + 255
1/2 cup each green pepper, broccoli,
carrots, tomato, and garbanzo beans)
2 Tbs. Italian salad dressing 100
Water 0
Total 1555
Snack (Cafeteria)
2 slices hearty wheat bread 200
3 oz turkey breast 165
1 tomato + lettuce/sprouts 50
1 large apple 100
1 cup (8 oz) 2% low fat milk 120
Total 635
Day’s Total: 4785 calories

2009-05-21T16:29:00.001-04:00

‘Eating my life away’
January 22, 2008, 9:00 am Filed under: Uncategorized
As an infant I was very skinny maybe even too skinny. My Mother insisted on
breastfeeding me but she was dry. Because I was so skinny she force fed me.
Often I threw up because he stuffed me so much. But Then she made me eat my
puke.
By 7 I was over 200 pounds. All the kids laughed at me but my mother always
told me I was handsome. My father left us when I was one and a half so I never
met him. On the school bus I took a full seat. My mother was an excellent cook
and baked cakes and deserts and always made me feel bad if I didn’t finish
everything on the plate. Today I am 30 and over 800 pounds and cant move. I
get a disability check from the government. My doctors say I will probably go
into cardiac arrest any day now. I don’t blame my mother. She is the only one
That ever loved me. (Writen By X Factor

2009-05-21T16:28:00.001-04:00

Chester's Weight By Yoyoincali@yahoo.com
Part One
Chester pulled up his tightie-whities and grimaced at the way the elastic dug in. He knew he was going to have to drop a few. He'd been telling himself that off and on for the past few months, but whenever he pulled on any of his old underwear, the waistband dug deeply into his soft flesh and reminded him that he was getting a little bit too round. He wasn't fat, just flabby. At five foot ten and one seventy-five, he was about fifteen pounds more than he really should weigh, especially since he had no muscle tone on his frame at all.
Over the past several months, Chester had been feeling lazy and hadn't been exercising much. Near daily bike rides or runs at the start of the year had turned into three times a week by the spring and then just once a week in the summer as he spent more time at the office and more time on the couch at home listening to the patter of rain against the window. He told himself it was just the rainy weather as he looked down at the small potbelly that was cantilevered over his tightie-whities. He reached back and squeezed the love handles that flopped over the waistband in back, then shook his head and pulled a pair of jeans off the floor. He'd worn them a few times, so the thirty-four-inch waist was stretched out just fine. He pulled on a t-shirt and then a sweatshirt and looked in the mirror. When he was dressed, he looked just fine. Not chubby at all. Skinny, almost. With a boyish face and short brown hair that sort of stood up on its own.
He grabbed his keys and his wallet and headed out the door, on his way to meet his friend Conrad at a sports bar. The bar was only about a half mile from his house, but Chester didn't feel like walking home wet if it started to rain.
Chester and Conrad worked together at one of the Big Six accounting firms in Seattle. They were both Seahawks fans, despite the fact that the team was terrible and they'd both just moved to Seattle from California within the past year. Conrad was an outdoorsman and the rain didn't bother him at all. He ran, hiked, biked and did about a dozen other things that required gear and muscles and energy. When Chester found him in the bar, Conrad had already ordered fries and beers.
The two watched the game, drank their beers, ate the fries, then some buffalo wings, and then drank some more beer. By the time the fourth quarter rolled around, the Seahawks were already way out of it and Conrad wanted to order an early dinner to help him sober up. It sounded good to Chester, so he ordered a personal pizza and Conrad ordered a burger and fries. About twenty minutes later, the skinny waitress came back with an enormous half-pound burger and a big pile of golden fries. She sat it down in front of Conrad and told Chester that his pizza would just be another minute.
"Good God, this is huge!" Conrad said, stroking his goatee in disbelief.
"It looks like a flying saucer," Chester offered.
"Have some fries. I'm not going to be able to eat all of this," Conrad said, sliding his plate to the middle of the table. The big burger had been cut in half and Chester ate a few of the fries, which were much better - crispier - than the ones they'd had earlier. He poured out some catsup into a little plate of his own. After a dozen or so, he paused and leaned back in his chair. "Whoa. I better not sit here and eat all your fries. And where's my pizza?" They looked around the bar until they saw their waitress. She came back to the table with an apologetic look on her face.
"I'm so sorry. Your pizza hit the floor and they have to make you a new one. It's going to be about fifteen or twenty more minutes. Is that OK? Can I get you anything while you wait? A beer?"
"No. I don't think I better have any more beer. I've got to drive home in a little while."
Conrad's cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and started mumbling softly into it.
"Well ... would you like a free dessert when you're done? I could do that for you. I just feel bad that you had to wait so long."
"OK, sure. Although I hope I'm still hungry after all this food."
"Well, if not, I can wrap it up to go for you," she said with a smile and bounced off. Conrad clicked his phone shut and shook his head.
"I've got to go over to the office."
"What? Why?" Chester asked, picking up another fry.
"Chapman wants a couple of phone numbers so he can pester people tonight. I was supposed to email them to him on Friday. ."
"That sucks."
"Yeah," Conrad said, standing up and pulling out his wallet. He dropped a twenty and a ten on the table. "Think that's about right?"
"Oh yeah. I'll give you some change if there's any tomorrow. You want the rest of this to go?
"Nah. I'm stuffed. I can't believe I ate like such a pig today. I'll have to go for a run tonight. Anyway, see ya."
"Later." Chester sat for a while and nibbled on a couple more fries. He tried just staring over the burger at the television, but it smelled so good. He was wishing he'd ordered that burger instead of his pizza. The widescreen television cut to a commercial for a burger place and that was it. Chester pulled the untouched half towards him and took a giant bite. It was so good. The bun was thick but soft and the burger was just a little crisp at the edges. Just how he liked it. He ate it greedily, in a few big bites, and pushed the plate back across the table. He tried to stifle a burp and leaned back in his chair. Now he was stuffed. He let another small belch escape as the waitress sat his pizza down in front of him. It was huge.
"I'm so sorry about that. Here you go. Anything else I can get you?"
Chester exhaled. "Nope. I don't even know if I can eat all this. It's huge!"
"Well, do your best. Enjoy!" she said and bounced away again.
Chester looked at the thick pizza. It was enough for two people. But he did love the sauce here. And the sausage they used, too. But he was so full. He leaned forward and picked up a piece. Taking a bite, it just melted in his mouth. It was so good. His belly was straining against his jeans, already filled with fries and wings and beer and that burger. He reached under his sweatshirt and surreptitiously undid the top button. As he did, the zipper slid down an inch.
"Much better," he said, a little louder than he had intended. He set to work on the pizza, without worrying about his waistline or if he had to go for a jog. He just sat and ate and ate, watching television and looking around at the other patrons. It occurred to him then that he hoped no one was watching how much he was eating. He quickly checked around him, but everyone seemed to be locked into their own conversations or else watching the television and ignoring him. He had been eating like a hog all day and felt a little embarrassed. He only had one slice left though. He hiccupped and set to work. Between bites, he leaned back in his seat to chew. As he finished, the waitress approached.
"My goodness, I guess you were hungry!" she said with a little disbelief in her voice. "That was a lot of food you ate." Chester blushed. She dropped the dessert menu on the table and picked up the empty pizza platter, burger plate and silverware. "You look that over and then let me know if you're got any room for dessert." She smiled and walked off. Phew. He couldn't possibly want dessert after all that, could he? He let the menu sit there for a few minutes. Then a few minutes more. When the waitress still hadn't come back after another few minutes, Chester picked up the menu and glanced at it - out of boredom. And he saw his favorite. Chocolate chip cheesecake. He hiccupped again and put his hand on his belly. It was so full, it felt hard. He'd get it to go. Another few minutes went by and the waitress still hadn't resurfaced. When she finally did, racing to his table, she was even more apologetic. She took his cheesecake order, dropped the check and hustled off. She was back minutes later with a big paper bag.
"I put a couple of slices in there. I'm sorry everything took forever tonight. I promise the next time you come in here, I'll treat you like a king. Sorry again," she said, resting the bag on the table and hustling off. Chester picked up the bag. It was heavy. He peeked in. There were three thick slices of cheesecake. Big ones. Good God. He headed out to his car and back to his apartment. When he got in, he put the cheesecake in the fridge and lay down on the couch to read. He was struggling to stay awake as he read The Economist and thought a few bites of cheesecake might give him a sugar rush. He pulled them out of the refrigerator, put all three on a plate and sat down at the kitchen table with the plate and the Economist. The first few bites were as good as he thought they would be. Cold, rich, creamy, delicious. He sat eating slowly, a little more awake and wrapped up in a long article about accounting in Brazil. Without really paying attention, he forked bite after bite into his mouth. Until ... uh oh.
"Phew. That's it." The plate was empty and he was a little surprised he'd finished it. "No food until next weekend." He patted his belly and exhaled, then pushed himself up to the table and walked slowly to the couch. He sat down heavily and turned on the television. He didn't move the rest of the night. He just flipped through the channels, totally stuffed, occasionally pausing to hiccup, belch or pass gas.
He woke up feeling hungry and ate his breakfast ravenously. He was so hungry at eleven that next morning that he ate lunch an hour early. He was also starving on the ride home from work, even though he usually had dinner around seven or eight at night, after a run or bike ride or something. His hometown San Diego Chargers were playing a Monday night game, he remembered, so he drove straight to the sports bar and went in to sit down at his same booth.
"You're back," the waitress said, smiling brightly at him. He ordered a beer and buffalo wings and sat back. He ate all the big plate of wings, had another beer and, around halftime of the game, ordered a steak sandwich and another beer.
"The steak sandwich comes with fries or mashed potatoes. Which would you like?"
Chester looked a little surprised. "Hmm. Fries or mashed potatoes. They both sound good. Do the mashed potatoes come with gravy?"
"Yes they do. They're really good," she smiled again.
"But those fries last night were perfect. Hmm."
"Tell you what," she said quietly, leaning in closer. "I'll get you both. I've seen your appetite." She winked at him, turned and bounced off.
"My appetite?" he thought to himself. Maybe he had made a pig out of himself. A short while later, the waitress returned carrying two big plates. On one plate was a pile of fries next to mashed potatoes drowned in gravy. On the other was the biggest steak sandwich he'd ever seen. The cut was thick and juicy. It looked great. His eyes were open wide.
"I had them make you a nice big one," she smiled, resting the plates down. "I'll be back with your beer." He started working on the food. It was delicious. The steak was tender and warm. The mashed potatoes and gravy were so good he just wanted to spoon them into his mouth all at once and the fries were nice and crisp like the night before. He ate in large bites, quickly, and finished without any real trouble, though he did unbutton his khakis midway through the meal. A soft belch escaped just as the waitress came to the table.
"Looks like somebody liked his dinner."
"It was great," he said with a hiccup.
"Ooops. Well would you like dessert?"
"That cheesecake was great. Maybe I could have a slice of that?"
She smiled at him suspiciously. "Just one slice?"
"Well, okay. Maybe a couple."
"Great. I'll be right back." Chester was very glad he'd left such a good tip the night before. But she really hadn't needed to give them any freebies. They would have been sitting there just as long watching the game anyway. The waitress returned with two thick slices of chocolate chip cheesecake, one of which was covered in warm chocolate syrup.
"I thought I'd see if you liked it this way. If not, I'll get you another."
"Wow. It looks great. Thanks." Though he was pretty full, Chester sat and forked up all of the cheesecake. It was a nice mix - one with the chocolate sauce and one without. By the time he had his last bite, he was stuffed. He made sure to leave another good tip. It was a big bill, though, and he scolded himself for being such a pig. At home, he scolded himself again when he took off his shirt and caught a sight of his big pink belly in the mirror. It was packed full and stuck straight out in front. He shook his head at the sight and went to bed.
Chester's appetite ticked up a little in the days after. He was eating just a little bit more at breakfast, ordering a little bit more at lunch, eating dinner very early, and having midnight snacks when his belly started growling. It just took a little bit more food to make him feel full and he started treating himself to it without much thought. It got darker and colder and wetter in the northern Pacific autumn and Chester's stomach was getting a mind of its own.
He knew his waist wasn't going to get any smaller, but he figured that he still looked fine dressed and he didn't have a friend to impress. And also, there was no need to stay slim for the beach up here. It was just rainy and cold all the time. His exercise slacked off from little to none in the rainy evenings and he spent more time lounging on the couch at home. He kept going to the sports bar on Sundays and Mondays and eating like a horse - usually by himself, but occasionally with Conrad, who had started dating one of the women at the office and who now had less time to hang out with Chester. After a couple of months of this, Chester's clothes were definitely letting him know that he wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer.
His first concession had been to buy a new belt. His belt was kind of old, bought when he had a thirty-two-inch waist. He'd worn it like that for over a year, and a groove got worn in on that spot. By the time he started working in Seattle, he'd filled out just a little and had to move it over a notch. But after a month of his heavier eating, he moved it over another notch. He wore it to work one day and caught site of himself in the mirror after a sizable lunch. He was wearing a white polo shirt over a t-shirt and tan slacks. His belly was definitely noticeable; the shirt wrinkled a little at the top of his belly and was even a little taut at its widest point, just below the belly button. Underneath, his slacks were still unbuttoned from lunch and the zipper had slid down about a quarter inch. But the belt looked ridiculous, straining to reel in this soft, doughy midsection that billowed out above and below. The older groove was clearly noticeable two inches over. Chester knew he couldn't go one more over, to the last hole, so he just bought a new belt at the mall on his way home. Though he realized the irony before he went in, he just had to have a big McDonalds dinner that night at the food court. His tray weighed down with burgers, fries, and a shake and apple pie, he told himself he was going to have to stop eating like this real soon.
Part Two
Thanksgiving was just around the corner and, before he could do anything about his expanding waistline, he was heading down to San Diego to have Thanksgiving dinner with his family. He flew in that morning and his flight were delayed for a couple of hours. His father picked him up at the airport and they drove straight home. When they walked in, everyone was sitting down to eat. Chester and his father hurriedly joined them. Food was piled up high on the table and Chester had some of everything. There was a great deal of chaos and raucous laughter and ooohing and aaahing over the food. His mother, sister and grandmother had been cooking since the previous night. His two aunts were there as well as his grandfather. Chester had plate after plate of food as the afternoon went on. Everyone was making a pig of themselves, despite the fact that they were all the prototypical slim, tanned San Diegans. But, after dinner, they all cleared the dishes and started moving to the living room. Chester's sister Cindy was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. Chester walked over carrying a thick slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream.
"Whoa, tubby," she said as he sat down heavily. "Look at that gut! What happened to you?"
Chester's face turned bright red. "What? Is it that noticeable?"
"Well yeah. You were so skinny the last time I saw you. What happened?"
"Well ... I guess I've been eating a little too much lately. I've been getting really hungry late at night and I just go eat the wrong stuff, I guess."
"Wow. You must have gained thirty pounds. I can't believe this belly." She poked him in the side. "You're fat!"
"Well, thanks. That's real nice."
"I'm sorry. It's just that ... well, I've never seen you so ... big. Are you exercising?"
"Not really. You know it's so rainy up there all the time. And cold. Here." He held the pie towards her, guiltily.
"Oh Chester, I'm sorry. Really," she offered with an apologetic smile. "You go ahead and eat that. I won't say another word. You look fine. I'm sure it's just a phase." She pushed the pie back at him and winked. "Now I know what I'll get you for Christmas."
"What? MiracleSlim?"
"No," she laughed. "A gym membership. You know if you hit the gym more regularly, you can have pumpkin pie every now and then."
"Whatever," he said shaking his head, smiling. "Listen. Just hold this for a second. I'll go put on a sweatshirt to hide this gut."
She took the pie and Chester went to his suitcase and pulled out a big baggy sweatshirt. He pulled it over his head and sat back down. "How's that?" he asked.
"Pretty good."
"Great. Then hand me that pie and shut the hell up."
"You got it, porky." She smiled, handed him the pie and watched him wolf it down.
When his mother came in and asked if anyone wanted a second helping of dessert, his grandmother and aunt raised their hands excitedly. His sister poked him in the side, smiling, and he asked for seconds also, and then felt like a fat pig as he munched it down. Chester wore his big sweatshirt the whole weekend and, aside from Cindy, no one was any the wiser about his newfound heft. She did have a good time teasing him with food, though. She made sure to pile food on Chester's plate; give him second and third helpings without asking; and bring him the biggest slices of cake and pie for dessert - all with a devilish grin. And Chester could never refuse. When she would sit a plate down in front of him with a wink, he would just smile and shake his head - then dig in hungrily. Everyone was overeating a little bit, so no one really noticed.
It was drizzly the whole weekend, so the family spent most of the four-day holiday inside. And Chester spent much of that eating. Early breakfasts. Big lunches of leftovers. Multiple course dinners. And lots of late night snacking.
Sunday afternoon, the family was watching football. Chester had a big bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate brownies and chocolate syrup in front of him and was spooning it into his mouth when his sister reached under his sweatshirt and got a thick pinch of his love handle. When he squealed in protest, his aunt looked over at them, confused.
"Just being a pest," his sister told her, then wiggled the pinch of flab.
"You're meat," Chester whispered.
"Just try it, porky," she whispered back. "Unless you're too busy eating." She pushed her nose up with her finger and oinked.
"I am. But just wait until Christmas. I'll be ready for you."
"Whatever you say, butterball."
Chester had lots of fun with his family that weekend, despite his sister's teasing, and was a little sad to go back to Seattle, where he didn't really have anyone to spend time with. His flight was delayed again and when he got home from the airport, he was starving. He put a frozen pizza in the oven and looked through his mail, then ate the whole pizza and went straight to bed.
In the back of his mind, Chester knew that over-eating so decadently was going to be bad for his burgeoning waistline. And when he was in the shower the next morning, his midsection definitely felt softer. And wider. But it wasn't until he started getting dressed that he realized he'd better hit the panic button. He didn't have any of his roomier boxers clean, so he pulled on a pair of thirty-four inch tightie whities and grimaced at how snug they were. He was startled and he went into the bathroom to survey the damage. His belly was definitely bigger than it had been in the past few weeks. It swelled up and out over the small underwear. His love handles also wrapped around his sides thickly. He was also fat along his sides. Turning around and looking over his shoulder, the love handles were surprisingly big - generous handfuls of flesh that bounced out over the tight waistband. And his rear end! What had happened? He hadn't noticed that it was getting so fat. But the underwear was stretched tight across two round, wide, prominent butt cheeks - the tightie whities couldn't even contain all of that flesh, some of which bulged out of the bottom of the underwear ly.
He put his face in his hands and walked back out to his bedroom. Well, there was nothing he could do about it now. He pulled on a tight t-shirt and a polo shirt over that. He shifted around a little and tugged at the tail to make sure it didn't hug his round belly. Then he grabbed his khakis and pulled them on. As they slid up his thighs and over his rear end, he got a bad feeling. He sucked in his gut and pulled the fly shut and, with his stomach mashing against his fingers, he buttoned them. He relaxed, then sucked his gut in again and pulled the zipper up, then grabbed his new belt and went into the bathroom. The pants were already digging into him painfully. In the mirror, he saw that his belly pooched out heavily over the top. The seat of the khakis was filled to bursting with his wobbling rear end. This wasn't going to work. Then he had an idea. He went to his closet, pulled out a sports coat, and pulled it on. Perfect. He'd be able to walk around the office without looking like a Christmas ham. He skipped breakfast and drove to the office.
At work, he learned that a company president would be arriving on Wednesday for a weeklong stay in Seattle. The office manager advised employees that they should elevate their "business casual" dress to its highest levels for those days. No suits and ties. Just look good. Chester was starving at ten o'clock and his grumbling stomach caused a co-worker to stand up and look over the cubicle wall.
"Are you OK over there?" she asked.
"Yeah. Fine. I just was ... running late and I didn't have time for breakfast."
"Oh. Well. Sorry. I think there's some doughnuts in the kitchen."
She smiled at him and sat down. He hadn't wanted to mention that he was going on a diet because he was too fat to fit into any of his clothes and he was sitting here at his desk with his pants unbuttoned and the zipper halfway down so his big fat belly could hang out. And doughnuts. Good God. He didn't even want to think about that.
For lunch - he went at eleven - he got a salad and wolfed it down. By noon, he was hungry again. But all he had to do was pat his stomach to remind him that he'd better not eat anything until dinner. He was going to pay big time for the past couple of months. Damn.
Chester was driving home. Starving. Light-headed. Almost feint. He wasn't sure how it happened, but, instead of going straight home, he ended up at the sports bar. And he almost couldn't remember ordering a beer and buffalo wings. And then a beer and a burger and fries. And then another beer. And then two slices of cheesecake. He was soooo hungry. Even patting his big belly didn't work. He was still hungry. And when he got home, he pulled open the freezer door and pulled out microwave macaroni and cheese. Two. He fired them up and ate them both without thinking and then he opened the freezer again for some ice cream. He ate and ate and finished a quart of ice cream, then fell asleep on the couch.
In the morning, Chester scolded himself for being such a pig. And also for being so stupid to think he could cut back his eating so suddenly. He knew better. He decided to take it nice and easy. Maybe start on some of that exercise his sister had been talking about. He also vowed to go buy some new clothes - that fit - after work. He wasn't going to be able to shake of his big belly overnight. Also, he'd look a little better for the president.
At the mall, he went straight for a store that specialized in casual office wear. He was wearing sweats and he'd found a clean pair of big boxers. He browsed through the slacks and shirts for a while, then, when he had a few things he liked, he took them back to the dressing room. A teenaged guy let him into the dressing room and said, "Call me if you need me." Chester stripped down to his boxers and shook his head at his doughy frame. He slapped his belly with his hand and watched it wiggle. He still wasn't a big fat guy. But, jeez, in the , he looked like he was all Crisco. And a year ago, he was just skin and bones. He tried on a shirt that fit well and looked nice. Hid his belly almost entirely. Then he pulled on a pair of black size thirty-six slacks and did a double take down at his midsection when they didn't button comfortably. No, his belly still pooched out over a pair of thirty- sixes. Damn. He opened the door and waved to the teenager.
"Can I get these in size thirty-eight?" he asked, pointing at his pants. "And these, too?" He held up a pair of dark brown slacks.
"Sure. Those too tight?"
"Um, yeah. They're too tight." Chester looked around to see if anyone heard that. Who was this idiot? Just get the pants, all right?
The thirty-eights were a little roomy, but Chester got them anyway. He decided thirty-sevens would be perfect but he would rather have them a little baggy than have them showing off a bulging midsection to the company president. He paid for everything, then stopped off in the food court and ate too much Chinese food. And when he figured that his new outfit really hid his weight gain pretty well, he topped it off with a banana split. Geez. Enough already. He was going to have to figure out some sort of program. Chester wasn't able to control his appetite over the next couple of weeks and, before he knew it, he was back down in San Diego with his family for Christmas. He had brought his biggest, baggiest clothes - not wanting his sister to give him too much trouble about his weight.
Strangely, trouble wasn't what she gave him. Despite occasionally patting his belly, she left him relatively alone. Until Christmas morning, that is. Chester's house was crowded with about twenty people - aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and family friends had come over for a big brunch and some gift giving. Amid all the hubbub and confusion, Chester ate, ate and ate. Because the table only sat ten, people were rotating in and out during the morning. Not Chester, though. His mother gave him three plates of waffles and sausage with syrup and didn't blink. Chester had become accustomed to fixing himself larger and larger breakfasts over the past few months and was content to just sit and eat until something stopped him. He was buttering a biscuit with a great deal of butter when he realized he was the last one still at the table. Cramming on half of the soft, flaky biscuit in his mouth, he pushed himself up from the table, walked slowly into the living room, still chewing and sat down heavily on the couch, his cheeks still filled with the biscuit. He adjusted his sweatshirt so it wasn't stretched across his belly and tugged his sweatpants down so they didn't cling to his thighs.
The children were the first to start opening their presents. Each kid would tear open a present, then hold it up to show everyone, then start intently playing with it. The s had gathered in the living room, sipping tea of chatting to each other. It was slow going. Only one present at a time so everyone got to see who was getting what and from whom. An hour or so into the , Chester stood up and went into the bathroom for a little while. When he came out, his sister was standing next to the door.
"Sorry. Were you waiting to get in there?" he asked, blushing.
"Oh no." She laughed, shaking her head and wrinkling her nose.
"Not now, anyway." She produced a red envelope and handed it to him. "Merry Christmas."
"Oh, thanks." He tore it open and looked.
"It's membership at that gym down the street from your apartment. The one you said you were thinking about joining?"
Chester forced a smile onto his lips. "Great. This is great."
"Oh come on, Chester! You know you're turning into a big tub. You haven't moved a muscle since you've been down here except to go to the kitchen and go to the bathroom. You won't come jogging with dad and me. You're butt has been planted on that couch the whole time. And you're eating enough food for three people!"
Chester blushed again. "I know, I know. Well, thanks, I guess."
"You'll thank me when you're back down to your fighting weight. I don't mean to be a bitch about it. I just thought you needed a kick in the butt." She ed him lightly, sending his soft rear end wiggling. "Come on, let's get back in there."
"Alright." He looked down at the enrollment certificate. "Say, I don't look that fat right now, do I?"
His sister stepped back and looked at him. "You know, if I didn't know you, I'd say you're probably just a little mushy. Maybe chubby. I just know how skinny you used to be. But fat? No. You don't look fat. But you're on your way."
The rest of the day was less stressful, though Chester had mixed emotions. He knew he was pushing the limits of looking like he was getting fat while, at the same time, if he didn't already look fat, he had a little room to give. The preponderance of holiday chocolates and cakes and snack tilted the scale further towards the latter, and he spent much of the afternoon grazing on everything that came near him on the couch. The next couple of days were spent similarly - Chester opting to sit on the couch eating rather than go running with his family. He felt fatter than ever when he got on the plane to fly home.
Part Three
January the second was a Saturday, and Chester was ready to go to the gym. He tossed some shorts and a t-shirt into his gym bag and drove through the rain down to the gym. He had his picture taken for an ID card, bought a combination lock, and went back to the changing room. He had decided he would do some weightlifting and some Stairmaster. The locker room was not as discrete as he might have wanted. The lockers circled the circumference of the wall and there were rows of benches in front of them. In the middle of the locker room was a big bin for towels, a trashcan, and a pair of tall, stand up scales - the kinds with the little weights that slide across the top.
Chester pulled of his shirt and pulled back on his workout t-shirt quickly, hoping no one would really catch sight of his pale, jiggling potbelly. He also threw his pants and shoes in the locker and pulled on his cotton shorts. They were a little bit more snug that he remembered, but he hoped they'd stretch out a little. The gym had mirrors on the wall and he realized that he looked pretty fat in his tight clothes.
His first stop was the bench press machine. It was set for one hundred pounds. That seemed all right, so he lay down on his back and felt his t-shirt rise up off his belly. He tugged it back down and tucked the tip into his shorts. He got his hands set and pushed. The bar was heavy. The weights didn't go right up. His arms quivered as he forced the weight up and then let it come back down. He was breathing heavily and his t-shirt was up off his belly again, revealing his soft, bulging middle. He sat up, shook his arms and adjusted the weight to eighty pounds. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed that embarrassing episode.
Some skinny lady doing sit-ups on a ramp looked at him kind of funny but, other than that, no one else seemed to care much. Eighty pounds didn't go much easier. He had burned out his arms the first time. Besides, he could feel the cool air on his stomach every time he set his hands on the bar. After three reps, he stopped and sat up again. This wasn't going to be easy. He was already starting to sweat. Maybe he should just go to the Stairmaster. He heaved himself up and looked around. There were five Stairmasters against a wall. The middle one was unoccupied and slim women with hard, tiny were making it look real easy on the others.
Chester climbed on and decided to set in on the easiest level. After all, it had been ... how long? Five months since he last exercised? Seven? This wasn't going to be pretty. And it wasn't. It was hard to get the steps to press down. He was leaning from side to side and doing it far too slowly. He was sweating bullets after a minute and he just couldn't get into a groove. He could feel his rear wobbling in the shorts and was sure anyone who was looking could see it too. He tried for a couple more minutes to get into a groove, heaving and huffing away. One of the s next to him looked over at him, looked him up and down, and smiled to herself. Chester nodded but knew what she was thinking: "I'll never let myself get as fat and out of shape as that pig."
He didn't want to give up so soon. He wanted at least one of the women to abandon their Stairmaster before he did. Who knew how long they'd been going already? His machine told him he had only been going for seven minutes. The woman on the other side asked if he was okay. He looked over, mouth open, sweat dripping off his forehead, at her. She must have been fifty. She was smiling sweetly at him, a look of concern on her face, as her legs pumped mercilessly.
"Yeah," he gasped. "Never ... done ... these ... before." His shoulders slumped as he gave up and stepped off. "Oh god." He muttered to himself. The two women looked at each other and chuckled. He was sweaty, exhausted, and he may have hurt his arms, he thought to himself. He started back to the locker room and noticed the sit-ups woman from before eyeing him closely. She had jet-black hair and a pretty face, with high cheekbones and narrow eyes. Like maybe she was part Asian. Was she smiling at him?
Groggy, he squinted at her and walked into the locker room. He thought about stepping on the scale but decided against it. He also decided against just putting on his clothes and climbing back in the car. Even though the locker room had a half dozen guys - all skinny or muscled - walking around in various stages of undress, he knew he had to take a shower. He pulled off his clothes and, as inconspicuously as he could, grabbed a towel, pulled it around himself and started off for the showers. He felt like a big, jiggly blob in the shower, so he soaped up his white, wobbly flesh as fast as he could, got cleaned up and got out of there in a hurry.
On Sunday, Chester rewarded himself for his workout by barely moving all day. Of course, the fact that his arms and legs were sore and painful to move conspired to keep him couch-bound much of the day as well. He ate off and on all through the day - boredom mixed with hunger. He never really sat down and ate a big meal, so he never got the "full" feeling that his stomach expected, despite the fact that he put away a great deal more food that he would have other wise. Pancakes, bacon, frozen pizza, microwave lasagna, bologna sandwiches, potato chips, enchiladas, ice cream, Hershey's kisses, chili and on and on.
The next weekend, Chester decided to try the gym again, though he figured he'd just hit the stationary bike and leave the Stairmaster and weights for sometime later. He also wore a slightly larger pair of shorts. They were a little shorter and showed off a little more of his thick thighs, but they didn't cling to his rear end the same way the other shorts had. He found a bike, hopped on and programmed in a relatively easy ride. It started off fair enough. He worked up a sweat and was breathing hard a few minutes in but kept on pedaling. Whenever he felt like quitting, he would imagine himself from the previous week, in the shower. It had been very embarrassing to be so pale and so fat in there and it gave him the drive to keep going. After fifteen minutes, his legs just gave up. Breathing hard, he turned the machine off and let the residual motion carry his legs around a couple more times until they stopped. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, then heard a female voice.
"Did you have a good ride?" It was the dark haired woman from the previous week. The one who smiled at him. Did she work here or something?
"Yeah. It was pretty good," Chester panted.
"You seemed like you were getting a good workout. On ..." she looked at the display panel on the handlebars, "level one." She smiled at him. She had great teeth.
"Yeah." Chester would have blushed, but his face was already beet red from his workout.
"Are you new to this gym?" she asked, smiling again. The two chatted for a few moments, Chester explaining his job and the amount of time he spent sitting at a desk, while she told Chester that she worked in a bank and worked out at the gym four or five times a week. Her name was Anna and she had grown up in the Seattle area. She was tall. Just about his height. Finally, she touched Chester's hand and said, "I've got to get going. There's a step class that's about to start. Maybe I'll see you here again next weekend."
"Definitely," he answered, feeling lightheaded. He stood still and watched her lean, muscled legs as she walked away and he waved at her when she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. Good God. What had just happened?
Chester asked himself that same question all through the week. He told himself that he wasn't going to the gym during the week because he didn't want to seem overanxious and desperate. His midnight snacking continued, though, probably because he was overanxious and desperate.
The next weekend at the gym, Anna was using the bench press machine when Chester walked out in his shorts and t-shirt. He didn't see her until it was too late.
"Hey Chester! How are you?" she asked, sitting up and smiling. There was a little perspiration on her forehead and chest. y, Chester thought.
"I'm great." He tried holding his belly in a little bit. He was wearing a bigger t-shirt that he'd bought to better hide his growing gut.
"Wanna do some bench?" She stood up and motioned for him to sit down.
"Ummm," he stammered. He didn't want her to see what a weakling he had turned into. "Well ... I don't know."
"You don't have to," she laughed, "I was just finishing up. What do you want to do?"
Chester explained that he wanted to start out slow and that he was going to "warm up" on the Exercycle. Much to his chagrin, Anna hopped on the cycle next to him, set it on the highest setting, and started pedaling. Chester, on the lowest setting, put together a dismal showing. They chatted some, Chester gasping out answers and questions for her. They had similar tastes in music and movies and what were the most fun neighborhoods to hang out in. After they finished, Chester again felt light-headed, almost delirious. They'd been talking about a restaurant that they both enjoyed during their ride and, buoyed by their friendly, almost flirtatious conversation on the bike, he heard himself ask:
"Do you want to go grab a bite to eat at that Café?"
Anna smiled broadly and agreed.
They met after showering and cleaning up. Chester was still red-faced from his twenty minutes on the exercise. Anna looked beautiful in a little flowery dress, her hair still pulled back. They went to the Italian restaurant they had talked about and ordered appetizers and pastas, Chester forgetting to curb his appetite, and a bottle of wine as well. It was five o'clock. Not exactly a dinner date, but sort of close to one. Nervous, Chester ate methodically. Slowly, but non-stop. He finished his bruscetta, her cheese sticks, the bread, his fettuccini alfredo and, when she said she was full, despite barely touching anything, he polished off the rest of her ravioli as well. They were getting along well, laughing at each other's jokes. They ordered dessert, Chester almost having second thoughts about being a pig until he realized that he just had to have the chocolate mousse. Anna ordered tiramisu with a shrug, assured that Chester would at least give it a try. When dessert arrived, Anna started talking about her boss and her co-workers, humorous anecdotes and strange gossip.
Chester sat and listened and gobbled up his dessert, while she just poked at hers. After awhile, she pushed hers at him and said, "give it a try," then kept on telling stories about work. Chester kept checking in but, she didn't really want any more, so he finished it all and, with a stifled belch, he leaned back in his chair and absent-mindedly patted the side of his belly. Anna's eyes followed his hand and then ed on his midsection before looking back up into his eyes. There was something going on, Chester thought, but he couldn't figure out what it was.
The two argued over the bill, but Anna let Chester pay it on the condition that she be allowed to pick up the next check when the went out the next time - which they decided would be next Friday night. It was still early, but they said good night, exchanging bright smiles and a ing handshake.
Chester was nervous and excited during the week and he completely neglected his calorie counting, going to get fast food snacks mid-afternoon and going back to his habit of sitting and eating ice cream late at night. On Wednesday night alone, he ate a quart of cookies and cream ice cream and then scraped the bottom quarter out of a pint of Hagen Daz chocolate. By Friday night, his appetite had picked up even more. He wore one of his newer, better-fitting pairs of slacks and a soft wool sweater over a black t-shirt. They went to a reasonably fancy French restaurant that Anna suggested. They ordered appetizers and entrees and, again, Chester did most of the eating. After dinner, a dessert tray stacked with creamy, sugary treats was brought to the table and Anna smiled as Chester helped himself, apologizing for his gluttony, while reaching for a miniature éclair.
A movie and a big tub of buttered popcorn later, Anna invited Chester into her apartment for a nightcap. She poured a couple of glasses of red wine and sat down on the couch next to Chester. They talked briefly. Chester brushed at her dark hair and smiled at her. She smiled back and put her hand on his soft thigh. They started kissing, gently at first and then more passionately.
Chester hadn't kissed a woman in months and was enjoying himself greatly. He ran his hands through her hair and down her arms. She stroked his thigh and then put her hand on middle. He was suddenly conscious that his belly must have been bulging in this sweater. Her hand was resting at the top. It slowly circled down and under to the belt buckle. It was like she was outlining his big gut. He felt so fat. Chester reached for her hand.
"Hey. Leave that alone." He whispered. "I know I'm too fat."
Anna pulled her hand away and returned it to his middle.
"I think you're just right. This big belly is so cute."
"What?"
"I think you're belly is cute."
"You do?"
"It was the first thing I noticed about you. It's why I was checking you out at the gym."
Chester leaned back and looked at her sternly. "Are you messing with me?"
"No. I'm not."
Chester looked at her skeptically. "You like my fat gut."
"I love your fat gut." She grabbed it with both hands and smiled devilishly at him.
"But you're so athletic."
"And I love my men with a little extra meat on their bones."
"You're serious."
"Yes. I don't date guys who don't weigh at least two hundred pounds."
"Whoa! I'm not that big! I don't weigh near that much."
Anna smiled, leaned in and kissed his neck. "I guess we'll have to work on that," she whispered.
The two kissed and caressed each other for another half-hour before deciding they'd better call it a night. They both agreed that, even though they liked to take things slow, they might not be able to do so much longer. Anna offered to make him a midnight snack and licked her lips when he said all right. She made him waffles and sausage, with maple syrup and butter. He ate a big plateful, and then asked for seconds. She sat at the table with him while he polished off more waffles and sausage. He paused to stifle a belch, then leaned back and patted his belly.
"I'm stuffed. I don't think I can move."
"You had a lot to eat tonight."
"I know! I don't think I've had that much since ..." he laughed.
"What?"
"Well, since Wednesday. Actually I've been eating that much a lot lately." He hiccupped. "That's where all this came from." He put his hands on his soft stomach.
She smiled and patted his belly lightly. "Well, we'll just have to see that you keep getting enough to eat. Come on, big boy," she lifted the last bite of sausage to his lips, "why don't you clean your plate, here?" She took the last bite of waffle and mopped it through the syrup, then placed it in him mouth as well. "How's that?"
Chester nodded and smiled at her as he chewed the big mouthful of food.
On the way home, Chester undid the top button of his pants and loosened his belt a notch. And these were his fat pants! He'd just bought them. A thousand things flowed through his mind. Did Anna really like how fat he was? Did she really want him to be fatter? Did he really look fat now? What if he kept eating like he had been? What would his sister say if he gained any more weight? What would he look like if he got fatter? Why had he let himself get so fat in the first place? Why did he like it so much when she'd fed him? What if she was just messing with him? What if he didn't have to go to the gym anymore? What if he could eat as much as he wanted?
When he got home, he took off his clothes and studied his chubby pale body in the mirror. His bigger boxers were tight around his waist. His belly was wide and soft, and it wiggled when he patted it. His love handles were thick and they bulged over the waistband. His chest was doughy, even a little puffy, and the backs of his arms were soft fat. His thighs were enormous and they wobbled crazily when he shook them. He looked like a fat pig. He went to sit down on the couch and watch a little television before bed. When he thought about getting up for some ice cream, he instead looked down at the two big rolls of blubber around his waist. He grabbed one and wiggled it, then remembered Anna's hands on his belly. He went to the kitchen and pulled out a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. It was two thirds full. Thirty minutes later, it was gone. Chester patted his bloated stomach, then leaned over to the side to pass gas. He felt completely satiated. He rolled onto his side on the couch and cradled his belly in his hands. He had more gas off and on the rest of the night, and he finally fell asleep with the television on around midnight.
Part Four
The next morning, Chester decided to go out for breakfast. Even though he was still unsure about Anna's comments and how he felt about being fat, he ordered an omelet, bacon and pancakes. No one at work had said anything to him about being fat. His sister had said that, if she hadn't known him when he was skinny, she wouldn't think he was that big. There's nothing wrong with being a little bit fat. He wondered if he did already weigh two hundred pounds. Was he really forty pounds overweight? Jeez! He spent awhile in the bathroom when he got home - his growing appetite had led to more time in there - then took a long nap to sleep off his big breakfast.
He wasn't exactly sure when he woke up, but he kind of remembered dreaming about food. Waffles and sausage. Pumpkin pie and whipped cream. Burgers and fries. Chocolate mousse and tiramisu. "I love my men with a little extra meat on their bones," Anna had said. "I don't date guys who don't weigh at least two hundred pounds."
Chester got up and, still in his tightie-whities, raided the refrigerator. His fat belly spilled into his lap as he sat and ate a big turkey sandwich and potato chips. His rear end and thighs spread out in the chair. His shoulders slumped a little, his chubby chest sagged forward on his belly. After the sandwich, he microwaved some macaroni and cheese and shoveled that down, then he heated up a can of chili and wolfed that down as well, rubbing his large, soft stomach as he ate. He'd begun to love these big binges and was getting good at them. He took half of a cheesecake with him to bed and spooned in bite after bite until it was gone and he was so stuffed he had to go back to sleep. "I could get used to this," he thought to himself as he fell back to sleep.
At work on Monday, Chester met Conrad for lunch. They hadn't seen much of each other in the past couple of months, with Conrad traveling and Chester skipping their periodic jogs. Conrad was already at the table and when Chester sat down, Conrad had a look of mild surprise on his face.
"Wow. Someone's been hitting the cookie jar." Chester rolled his eyes.
"Hardee har, Iron Man." He opened his menu.
"No. Seriously. You're looking kinda ... um ... a little bit ... heavy."
"Thanks. I hadn't noticed."
"So ..."
"So what?" Chester asked, resting his menu on the table.
"So what's up? Everyone gains a pound or two over the holidays but ..."
"But what?"
"But you ... you ... you're ... so ..."
"Fat? Is that the word you're looking for?"
"Yeah. It is. You look like you've been sitting on your ass eating non-stop for three months." He laughed. "But seriously. Is anything going on? Everything OK?"
"Everything is fine. I just gained a few pounds. I'll work it off. Here. I'll order a salad. Will that make you happy?"
"Thrilled." They left it at that and talked business over lunch. Conrad had been offered another job in the company's San Jose office and was thinking about taking it. By the end of their "meal," the two had decided that Conrad would probably be much happier back in California. More sunshine, warm weather, exercising, all that.
After his tiny lunchtime salad, Chester was starving, so he snuck out for a couple of Whoppers and came back later on. If Conrad had noticed his weight, other people in the office must have as well. His suspicions were confirmed later that day when a birthday party was held in the break room. Diane, the woman in the next cubicle over, had been celebrating her birthday since noon, when she and five of her friends went out for a lunch that involved more than a couple of drinks. They had invited Chester into the break room while they gave her cake and presents. Diane was laughing and giggling as she cut the cake and, after she sliced off a huge piece, she started laughing, looked Chester square in the eye and handed it to him with a wink. The other women started giggling to themselves. When one noticed that Chester was turning red with embarrassment, she put her hand on his thigh.
"Oh, we're just kidding. Just teasing." She looked at the others.
"You s leave poor Chester alone."
"I'm sorry," Diane said, sitting down in front of him. The other four women went back to a conversation about Conrad and the gossip that he might be leaving. "I just noticed ... I mean we've all kind of noticed ... you know ... it's just that ... you're a little bit heavier than when you started. I didn't mean anything mean. I was just teasing you." She patted his belly. "I think you look just fine."
"Healthy," the other woman offered. Chester sat still, holding the cake in his lap.
"Yeah. Robust. You were so skinny before. And now ... now you can tell that office life agrees with you." She patted his belly again and stood up. "No hard feelings? I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again."
"No. It's OK. I know I've put on a few pounds." He sat the cake on the table. "I probably don't need this."
The office receptionist popped her head into the conference room.
"Chester, you've got a call."
"Alright." He stood up, wished Diane Happy Birthday and walked out of the room and down the hall.
Well, there it was. Chester guessed that it wasn't a secret that he was fat now. On the one hand, he was embarrassed. On the other hand, it hadn't been that bad. They had just been teasing him. In all honesty, he would have liked three pieces that big. Maybe he was going to let himself be a little bit fat. See how it goes. Later on that afternoon, Diane came by with the cake box and sat down in his cubicle.
"I'm sorry about that earlier. I just had a couple of drinks and I didn't mean to make any comments about your weight."
"It's alright. Really." They had been decent office buddies. She had always been very nice to him and helped him out whenever he needed it. He put his hand on top of his stomach. "It's guess it's getting kinda hard to miss."
"No no. It's really not that big. Really. You look just fine. I was just trying to be silly. I feel bad."
"Don't worry. It's all right. Really."
"I brought this as a peace offering. I know it's kind of ironic, but I thought you might want some."
Chester opened the box. A third of the cake was left.
"No one else wanted any more," Dianne said with a sheepish smile.
"I thought you might want to take it home."
Chester laughed and shut the box. He put it on his desk and said thanks.
"We're all going out for drinks in a minute. Want to come with us?"
"I can't. I've got a client calling me back in a little while. Have fun though. And happy birthday."
Chester made a couple of phone calls. He could smell the cake through the box. Chocolaty. It smelled delicious. He pulled a plastic fork out of his desk and opened the box. Office life certainly does agree with me, he thought as he started eating the cake. The frosting was thick and sugary. What had she said? Robust. He looked robust. He laughed to himself and took another bite. It was a little too late to go back now. He was the office butterball. An hour later, there wasn't any cake left to take home and Chester felt a little queasy.
Chester and Anna had another dinner date set up for the following night. Again, the plan was to meet at the gym and then go out to a nice restaurant. Chester joked that she was going to try to fatten him up and she reminded him that she only dated two hundred pounders. Something about that turned him on and he spent Friday night at home, eating and eating and eating late into the night.
At the gym the next day, Chester changed into his "bigger" workout wear only to find it rather tight across his midsection and rear end. He hit the toilet and then, feeling as light as a feather, decided to step on the scale. He shifted the big block over to one fifty and then started sliding the smaller balance over, waiting for it to start tipping the other way. He figured he had probably put on about fifteen or twenty pound since before thanksgiving and expected to weigh about one ninety or one ninety-five. But the scale wouldn't balance. He had to put the big block over to two hundred. And then the smaller balance slid over another seven pounds. He weighed 206! Good God! He was twenty-five pounds heavier than he was five months ago! He was huge! He was forty pounds overweight! Forty pounds of fat! His mind raced over all the late night binges, the huge breakfasts, the afternoon snacks at McDonalds. Suddenly all that food didn't seem so good. He was stunned.
"I take from your expression that's a bad number?" Someone behind him broke his trance. He turned around. A heavily muscled weightlifter was standing behind him with a smirk on his face.
"Step off for a second. But leave that number there." Chester stepped down and the thick-armed weightlifter stepped up. He tapped the little balance to the side a bit. "204." He hopped off and looked Chester up and down. Chester felt like a huge fat hog in his tight gym clothes next to this guy. "Hard to believe we weigh the same, isn't it?" Still stunned, Chester just nodded. "Well. You'll get there. Later." The weightlifter walked off.
"I've got good news and bad news," Chester said when he found Anna. She had just finished a step class and was shiny with sweat.
"Uh oh. Let's hear the bad." She looked at him somewhat anxiously.
"Actually, the good and the bad are the same."
"Okay." She nodded her head to say, "out with it."
"I guess I'm eligible for another date with you. I weigh more than 200 pounds."
"I knew it." She smiled and pinched his arm.
"What?"
"Yeah. I was surprised you didn't know it. When you said you weren't 200 at my apartment the other night, I just couldn't believe it. What are you? 210?"
Chester just looked at her.
"Okay, 205?"
Chester leaned in close to her to whisper. "You really like fat guys?"
She looked into his eyes and smiled wickedly.
"I love fat guys." She put her hands on either side of his belly and wiggled it.
"Well ... I'll take it."
"Great. Let's go get you something to eat. I know a great restaurant for a boy with a big appetite like yours." She patted his belly
"But I just got here."
"You can exercise next week. Let's get out of here." She took his hand and pulled him away from the gym floor. She showered and changed and Chester just changed. They hopped in her car and drove off.
At a restaurant called Aunt Betty's, Anna pulled her car in and led Chester inside. They sat in a booth and opened up their menus. It was home cooking-style food. Pork chops, fried chicken, meatloaf, rump roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, potato salad, etc. And everything could be ordered as a "hungry man platter" - huge portions and big servings of two sides. Chester picked out a bowl of chili as an appetizer and then steak, potatoes and macaroni salad for dinner.
"And I'd like that as a hungry man platter," he added with a smile. Anna winked at him and ordered a salad as an appetizer and then fried chicken with biscuits and gravy and corn on the cob for her entrée. Chester gave her a look of surprise.
"And make that a hungry man platter, too," she smiled.
"That's a whole lot of food, ma'am," the waiter offered. Chester looked shocked.
"Well maybe we'll take it to go if we can't finish it," she said. He nodded and walked away.
Chester leaned in towards her. "You don't look like someone who eats much fried chicken," he said with a smile. She put an look on her face.
"Oh I am. I love fried chicken. I can eat loads." She smiled. Chester reached down and put his hand on her flat firm middle, giving her a confused look. "In here? You can fit loads of fried chicken and biscuits and gravy in here?"
She laughed. "Well, maybe I'll need a little bit of help. I'm sure I can finish off the corn of the cob, though."
Chester leaned back in his seat, grinning. "You're a very bad influence."
"Bad?"
"Yeah. Every time we go out to eat, I end up eating a huge meal and half of yours, too."
"That's bad?"
Chester laughed. "Yeah. That's bad."
"Why? You don't like what you're eating?"
"No, it's not that."
"So you like the food."
"I love the food. I just shouldn't eat so much."
"Because it makes you sick?"
"No. It doesn't make me sick. It makes me stuffed."
She smiled ly again. "And that's a bad feeling?" The appetizers arrived and they began eating.
"Well, no, not really. It's kind of a nice feeling, but -"
"So you love the food. You love eating lots of it and being full is a nice feeling, I don't see what the problem is." She grinned at him.
"Listen, lawyer, the point is, if I keep eating enough food for two or three people, I'm going to be as big as a house."
"And that's bad?"
Chester laughed. "I give up!"
"Perfect. Now be a good boy and finish your chili."
When the plates arrived, they were huge. And the amount of food was enormous. The steak was as big as a dinner plate and there were big bowls of mashed potatoes and macaroni salad. Anna got nearly a whole fried chicken, and separate plates for her corn on the cob and her biscuits and gravy.
"Good God." Chester exclaimed.
"Think of it as the second helpings being brought out on the same plate," Anna offered, taking a bite of her corn.
Chester dug in greedily to his steak and potatoes. It was delicious. And he was hungry. And he was beginning to feel like a big fat guy and didn't big fat guys eat like this all the time? He breezed through two thirds of his steak, all of his buttery mashed potatoes and half of his macaroni salad, then decided he might be a little bit better off with his pants undone. He also thought he might give Anna a little thrill. If she likes fat boys who eat like pigs, here's one of the secret tips. He leaned back and sighed, then made a little show of reaching under his belly and undoing his top button.
"Whew. That's better."
Anna's eyes grew wide as she watched his display. Chester burped discretely into his napkin, then dropped in into his lap and patted his belly. She slid her untouched plates of biscuits and gravy and fried chicken towards him. He slid the steak and macaroni to his side and pulled the chicken in front of him, then picked up a drumstick and started eating. The waiter approached to refill their water and saw all the plates stacked up around Chester. He looked at Anna.
"It's a good thing you brought him along." She laughed and Chester smiled though a mouthful of chicken. They chatted and Chester ate for another half hour. He worked though most of the fried chicken and about half of the biscuits and gravy, before he finally gave up. They got their leftovers wrapped up and walked slowly out to the car. They decided to just rent a movie and picked out a comedy neither one had seen, then went back to her house, and curled up on the couch. During the movie, they held hands, and Anna patted Chester's belly. Chester had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom a few of times. Overstuffed from the meal, he had gas and he didn't want to fart in front of Anna. After the movie, she offered him a bowl of ice cream, which he ate quickly, then had seconds and even thought about thirds before she snuggled down next to him on the couch and looked seductively into his eyes.
They began kissing and caressing each other. Chester felt her hard, lean arms and abs under her shirt, while she rubbed and grabbed at his belly and love handles. She pulled his shirt up and reached inside, stroking the warm, soft flesh in small circles. She reached up and pinched at his pudgy chest and cupped it in her hand. Chester unbuttoned her shirt and, when he pulled it off and saw her magnificent, athletic body, he wanted her more than anything. She pulled his shirt off kissed his pale, flabby middle, and saw that the top button of his pants had been undone all night. In the bright lights of the room, Chester felt very self-conscious about how fat he was.
"Can you turn off the lights?"
She looked into his eyes. "Let's go into the bedroom."
They stood up and she took her skirt off, then unzipped his pants and dropped them around his ankles. She reached around behind him and grabbed two generous handfulls of the fat that was hanging out the bottom of his tightie-whities. She breathed in sharply.
"I've been wanting to do that since I first saw you in the gym."
She squeezed and rubbed his soft rear end. The two went into the bedroom. They fell back on the bed, kissing and rubbing one another's bodies. Chester marveled at the contrast in their bodies. She was lean and hard. He was fat and floppy. Everywhere she grabbed, she found a handful of blubber. They made love, Anna on top, twice over the next hour, then fell asleep pressed up against each other.
Part Five
Chester woke up hungry and and when he smelled bacon frying from the kitchen, he got excited. He pulled his snug t-shirt on over his belly and debated whether or not to put on his trousers. Though he knew Anna would like to see his big thighs, it was a little cool in the house, so he pulled up his pants and, leaving the button undone, buckled the belt. He walked into the kitchen with his big belly pooching out over his belt, the t-shirt stretched tight across it.
"Good morning, teddy bear," Anna, said cheerfully. "You're just in time for breakfast. Have a seat."
Chester sat down and looked over the spread. Bacon, pancakes, butter, syrup and orange juice. Anna sat down a heaping pile of eggs - scrambled with cheese, green onion and sausage - in front of him.
"Wow!" Chester exclaimed, digging in to the big feast. He was eating off three plates, reaching over his eggs to grab a strip of bacon with his left hand and cutting a bite of pancakes and dragging it around in the syrup with his right hand. Anna sat across from him with a little bit of scrambled eggs and some toast, smiling as Chester ate hungrily.
"I guess I can't help making a pig of myself around you," he said, his lips shiny with bacon grease. He burped quietly and dug back into his food as Anna winked at him. After she finished hers, she got up, rinsed her dishes, the snuck up behind Chester and reached around him to grab two big handfulls of his soft belly.
"Hey," he said through a mouthful of pancakes and syrup. "What's this?"
"Well, if I'm going to fix you a huge breakfast, I at least get to check out where it goes, don't I?" she asked, then hefted his gut in her hands and wiggled it. "Is that too much to ask?"
"Not at all," he replied. "It's a small price to pay." In fact, it wasn't a price to pay at all. Chester loved having his fat stomach stroked, patted and grabbed. It was even turning him on. And when Anna kissed his stuffed cheeks and bit lightly at his chubby neck, he wolfed down the rest of his food and turned around to reciprocate. Anna took his hands and led him back to the bedroom, where they sat down and began kissing.
"This little piggy's got bacon breath," she said, looking down at his moist lips. He also had some syrup smudged on his cheek.
"Sorry," he said, lifting her shirt off and rubbing at her lean arms and muscled shoulders. She pulled off his shirt and took off his pants then pushed him back on the bed and kissed him some more, gently stroking his soft stomach and thick love handles. She rolled him over to pull off his underwear and gave him a solid slap on the bottom, the sunk her fingers into the soft flesh. She pulled off her underwear and lay on her back.
"Come on," she said breathlessly, tugging at his arm. Chester pulled on a and wiggled towards her.
Chester hadn't been on top of a woman at this weight before and was surprised to see only his fat stomach hanging down when he looked down to see if he was going in the right direction.
Fortunately, Anna reached around and guided him in. The feeling was so good; he had to just settle in on top of her. He tried to cant himself back up to begin moving his hips around, but his arms felt so weak. They weren't going to be able to hold him up. They weren't used to holding him up at this weight. He laid back down, all of his weight on her.
"Are you OK?" he asked as she bit lightly at his neck.
"This is great," she replied, gasping just a little.
"Do you want to get on top?"
"No no! I love it, big boy. Just get this in motion," she slapped his ass, then grabbed it with both hands.
It wasn't easy. Last night he had just kind of lain there. But now, every time he going rolling, he got out of breath. His hips, more specifically, his ass, felt like it weighed a hundred pounds and he moved back and forth and back and forth. Finally, after giving up for the fourth time, Anna began gyrating underneath him, flexing and twisting and doing things that felt great. Her hands were clamped on to his thick love handles as she worked away underneath his big fat body until they both climaxed - her first, triggering his. Chester lay there for a moment, and then rolled off.
Anna looked like a steamroller had squashed her. They cuddle for a few moments, and then Anna got up and pulled on some underwear, shorts and a jog bra.
"I'm going for a run," she announced.
"What?" Chester looked confused.
"Just a few miles. I'll be back in less than an hour. Is that OK?" She leaned down and kissed him.
"Um. Sure. How do you have any energy after that?"
"Are you kidding? I feel like I just drank a double espresso!"
"Wow. I feel like I just ran a marathon."
"Well you stay here and take a nap and I'll be back in awhile."
"OK."
Chester fell back asleep quickly and slept off his exercise and big meal for a couple of hours. When he woke up, he realized he needed to hit the bathroom. On his way in, he realized Anna was cooking again. He peeked into the kitchen to see her slicing up avocado. Rice and beans and tortillas were on the stove. Grated cheese and diced tomatoes were sitting in big bowls on the table.
"Hi sleepy!"
"Hi there. What time is it?"
"It's almost noon. I was getting a little hungry, so I thought I get lunch rolling. Have a seat."
"I need to go to the bathroom first. I'll be out in a minute."
"OK," she smiled and went back to her avocado.
Chester gorged himself on taco after taco, rolling up all of the tasty ingredients in soft, flour tortillas and munching. Anna fetched him more to drink and bustled around in the kitchen, keeping the beans and rice warm, making sure his tortillas were hot, kissing him on the back of the neck and rubbing his big belly.
No question about it, Chester's appetite expanded when he began dating Anna. During the week, either Anna would cook him an elaborate breakfast before he went to work, or he would try to fashion his own, with bacon, waffles, sausage, pancakes, scrambled eggs and on and on. He would take a mid-morning snack in the break room, where the company had begun providing free bagels and cream cheese. He also started going out to lunch with Dianne and a couple of the other women from the office. He would make sure to order a full and satisfying lunch, making all of the diet-conscious ladies particularly envious. Since Anna didn't get back from the gym until seven or so most nights, Chester had been pushing back his dinners until then. And since his belly had the best of him, he would have hunger pains around four or five when he got off work. He had gotten into the habit of stopping off for some fast food on the way home, getting full meals of burgers and fries and milkshakes and pie. And then weekends! Anna would stuff him every four hours, starting early in the morning and continuing through to a midnight pizza or ice cream binge.
Of course the pounds really began piling on Chester's increasingly portly frame. Where it took him months to hit 200 pounds, after just a few weeks with Anna, he had eaten himself out of his entire wardrobe and weighed 225. Rolls of blubber poked out everywhere. He had taken to wearing a single tight sweat suit around the house or at Anna's, bursting the seams at the rear and sides. There was no mistaking that Chester was now fat. And though he loved it when Anna was showering him with attention, playfully grabbing a roll of fat or pinching his chubby cheeks, he was beginning to feel more self conscious as he got bigger.
He could feel people looking at his portly frame and snug slacks when he went out for his afternoon burger fix. And, if he wandered into the donut shop, he could hear the chuckles of the skinny coffee drinkers as he stood in front of the glass counter, pointing at donuts. He felt so tubby as the tiny woman behind the counter picked out all of his fattening goodies and tossed them into a large white bag. "She must think I'm just a big fat pig," Chester mused.
Of course, he knew, he was really turning into one.
Not only had his exercising dropped from little to none, he had also stopped walking as much or exerting himself. He parked right in front of the door at work, waddled to his desk and sat on his rear end most of the day, traveling around the office as little as possible. Chester's longest outings were usually at the grocery store, where he and Anna would slowly stroll the aisles, Anna putting into the cart whatever made Chester's eyes light up. They always made sure to buy a gooey, chocolaty treat from the bakery that he could enjoy on the ride home.
Chester's indolence and hefty appetite were doing wonders for their life, as well. Anna could feel herself getting aroused if she caught her big boy digging into a half gallon of ice cream as a midnight snack, sitting in his underwear, his big white belly swelling outward, chocolate on his lips. She would sit and feed him until neither one could wait any more, then push him to the tile and ride his big fat body.
Anna and Chester were engaged in just such an encounter one Sunday afternoon when his phone rang. Though they didn't pick it up, they both heard the message:
"Hi Chester, it's me, Cindy. I'm up here in Seattle on business all week, kind of a last minute thing, and I wanted to get together. Mom said you've got a new friend and I want to meet her. Anyway, my hotel number is ... "
But Chester wasn't listening anymore. He wasn't anymore, either. He had stopped wiggling his hips and stroking Anna's muscled thighs when he heard his sister's voice. And now, he could feel himself shrinking inside her as the thought of a reunion with his sister flashed before him.
"What's the matter?" Anna asked, leaning down closer.
Chester sighed and peered down at his wide, pale belly.
"My sister hasn't seen me this big."
Anna nodded. "Is she going to give you trouble?"
"Oh yeah. Big trouble. She was giving me crap thirty pounds ago."
"But you were skinny then!" Anna said with an excited smile.
"Well ... maybe to you. But not to her."
Anna traced her hand over Chester's middle.
"I bet you win her over with this cute tummy of yours."
She pinched his cheeks and neck.
"And these chubby cheeks of yours."
She reached down and grabbed a big handful of belly.
"You're just so damn cuddly!"
Chester smiled at her.
"Thanks. I may need you to be there with me."
"Of course, teddy bear, anything for you," she said with a big hug.
They had arranged to meet for dinner at the hotel where Cindy was staying. Chester had bought himself a new, well fitting, dress shirt that morning and was wearing his biggest, most flattering slacks. Anna looked like a knockout in a slinky dark blue dress, her lean, muscled arms bare in the cool night air. They arrived first and waited with a couple of drinks at the bar, Chester preparing himself for the taunts of his skinny, workout obsessed sister.
Anna noticed her first. Chester should have, but he wasn't sure what he was looking at, because he was looking for a trim woman in a business suit. But Anna saw the familial resemblance instantly, a resemblance heightened by the fact that Cindy herself had put on a large amount of weight and was bursting at the seams of a burgundy business suit.
"Wow." Anna said, raising her eyebrows. "Like brother, like sister."
"What?" Chester asked, as Cindy walked up to them.
"My goodness, Chester!" she began, looking him up and down.
"Whoa!" Chester replied, his mouth open in amazement at he looked at his sister's portly body.
"What happened to you?" they asked each other in unison.
They ordered drinks and lots of appetizers and hearty meal. Anna smiled to herself as she watched chubby brother and sister stuff their faces, Cindy complaining about an ankle injury and painful breakup that led to her extra poundage, and Chester admitting that the only thing he did at the gym was sit in the hot tub. An enormous steak was finally placed in front of Chester, and a bowl of creamy alfredo noodles in front of Cindy. The two ate hungrily, bantering back and forth and turning to Anna to referee as they wolfed down their food.
"Well don't tell mom and dad how big I am, alright?" Chester asked towards the end of the evening, pushing his empty plate away from him.
"Are you kidding?" Cindy belched behind her napkin and dug back into her noodles. "I have to see them all the time down there."
She took another bite and spoke through her mouthful of food. "Mom's been bitching at me for three months about my eating. And dad just looks at me and shakes his head. You better believe I'm telling them how fat you are." She swallowed and pointed her fork at Chester. "You're fatter than me! You're - hic - huge!" She pushed her empty pasta bowl away as the waiter returned, handed them dessert menus and took their plates. "I'll look skinny next to you," she whispered across the table at him.
"I wouldn't go that far," Chester said, opening up the dessert menu and smiling.
"Well I would, Chester." Cindy took a drink from her beer and opened her own dessert menu. "Come on, Anna, who's the real porker here?"
Anna just smiled at both of them and shrugged.
"Maybe we should get a few desserts," she said with a devilish grin.